I'm a coward and I want to get over myself!

[FilthyAsFuck]

Here's my contradiction -- and I'm posting it because I don't wanna be a wannabe fantasist.

A few years ago I caught an ex cheating on me with several black men where she worked -- and, while I was angry at the cheating, I discovered myself turned on like never before! (There's a whole backstory to this, but that's for another time)

The contradiction of masculinity being challenged I guess -- I'm definitely not the beta-sissy type.

Unfortunately we broke up before I processed it properly -- but I worked through the emotions and I've craved a repeat of this dynamic ever since, almost like it's become a part of my DNA.

I am obsessed and I can't think of anything I want more! (Maybe not the cheating, but definitely the dynamic)

However, as soon as I stop being horny, the obsession wanes and I start to feel bad about my fetish and almost become resentful.

It's like I predict my own knot of uncomfortable jealousy, and once again the craving goes -- until I'm horny again, and then it's back.

Seriously, how do I get over myself?

 

[usack]

Here's my contradiction -- and I'm posting it because I don't wanna be a wannabe fantasist.

A few years ago I caught an ex cheating on me with several black men where she worked -- and, while I was angry at the cheating, I discovered myself turned on like never before! (There's a whole backstory to this, but that's for another time)

The contradiction of masculinity being challenged I guess -- I'm definitely not the beta-sissy type.

Unfortunately we broke up before I processed it properly -- but I worked through the emotions and I've craved a repeat of this dynamic ever since, almost like it's become a part of my DNA.

I am obsessed and I can't think of anything I want more! (Maybe not the cheating, but definitely the dynamic)

However, as soon as I stop being horny, the obsession wanes and I start to feel bad about my fetish and almost become resentful.

It's like I predict my own jealousy, and once again the craving goes -- until I'm horny again, and then it's back.

Seriously, how do I get over myself?

Ditto just messaged you about it.

 

[FilthyAsFuck]

TBH I don't really want PMs from dudes -- I think I said that in my profile text.

 

[demalejpo]

Here's my contradiction -- and I'm posting it because I don't wanna be a wannabe fantasist.

A few years ago I caught an ex cheating on me with several black men where she worked -- and, while I was angry at the cheating, I discovered myself turned on like never before! (There's a whole backstory to this, but that's for another time)

The contradiction of masculinity being challenged I guess -- I'm definitely not the beta-sissy type.

Unfortunately we broke up before I processed it properly -- but I worked through the emotions and I've craved a repeat of this dynamic ever since, almost like it's become a part of my DNA.

I am obsessed and I can't think of anything I want more! (Maybe not the cheating, but definitely the dynamic)

However, as soon as I stop being horny, the obsession wanes and I start to feel bad about my fetish and almost become resentful.

It's like I predict my own jealousy, and once again the craving goes -- until I'm horny again, and then it's back.

Seriously, how do I get over myself?

Is it possible that you really are a beta and are reluctant to accept it? Many of us cucks liked to think of ourselves as Alphas but couldn’t stop thinking of our girlfriends fucking Black men and were turned on by it. Just a thought from one beta hubby.

 

[FilthyAsFuck]

Is it possible that you really are a beta and are reluctant to accept it?

I don't think so -- I don't really identify as either really. If anything, I'm just a guy with a freaky sex drive and loads of fetishes, although I am quite headstrong and unpredictable.

I've had relationships where I've been solely dominant -- the one mentioned above started like that -- and when I've tried to explore sub fantasies, it's invariably failed, with comments like "you are impossible to dominate".

But, I also like headstrong women.

 

[GRUDGE666]

Maybe you should get in touch with @/LittleObsessed, she and her white bf has some experience in that regard.

 

[Teeslad]

Here's my contradiction -- and I'm posting it because I don't wanna be a wannabe fantasist.

A few years ago I caught an ex cheating on me with several black men where she worked -- and, while I was angry at the cheating, I discovered myself turned on like never before! (There's a whole backstory to this, but that's for another time)

The contradiction of masculinity being challenged I guess -- I'm definitely not the beta-sissy type.

Unfortunately we broke up before I processed it properly -- but I worked through the emotions and I've craved a repeat of this dynamic ever since, almost like it's become a part of my DNA.

I am obsessed and I can't think of anything I want more! (Maybe not the cheating, but definitely the dynamic)

However, as soon as I stop being horny, the obsession wanes and I start to feel bad about my fetish and almost become resentful.

It's like I predict my own jealousy, and once again the craving goes -- until I'm horny again, and then it's back.

Seriously, how do I get over myself?

Practically the same experience as me, although I was never angry or jealous, just turned on. But obviously not enough for her.

 

[FilthyAsFuck]

Maybe you should get in touch with @/LittleObsessed, she and her white bf has some experience in that regard.

Yes, I can certainly see a bit of a common theme

 

[JohnEE]

Here's my contradiction -- and I'm posting it because I don't wanna be a wannabe fantasist.

A few years ago I caught an ex cheating on me with several black men where she worked -- and, while I was angry at the cheating, I discovered myself turned on like never before! (There's a whole backstory to this, but that's for another time)

The contradiction of masculinity being challenged I guess -- I'm definitely not the beta-sissy type.

Unfortunately we broke up before I processed it properly -- but I worked through the emotions and I've craved a repeat of this dynamic ever since, almost like it's become a part of my DNA.

I am obsessed and I can't think of anything I want more! (Maybe not the cheating, but definitely the dynamic)

However, as soon as I stop being horny, the obsession wanes and I start to feel bad about my fetish and almost become resentful.

It's like I predict my own jealousy, and once again the craving goes -- until I'm horny again, and then it's back.

Seriously, how do I get over myself?

Its very simple .. you have nothing to be ashamed of. and so tell yourself this when you start to feel this way.
You only have one life, so live it.

 

[FilthyAsFuck]

Its very simple .. you have nothing to be ashamed of. and so tell yourself this when you start to feel this way.
You only have one life, so live it.

I think it's the knot of jealous angst that gets me the most -- I don't get that when horny, just afterwards.

 

[FilthyAsFuck]

TBH I don't really want PMs from dudes -- I think I said that in my profile text.

As I said above, no PMs from men -- and that includes men pretending to be in couples. Thank you!