How Safe is Safe?

[ARBLKBULL]

True you should both give clean test results to each other.

I find your original statement a sign of white privilege. I have often on this site seen that same statement and only after saying something about it it's always yes you're right. It should always be we trade test results. And everyone gets tested husband as well.

 

[JJ4BBC]

I find your original statement a sign of white privilege. I have often on this site seen that same statement and only after saying something about it it's always yes you're right. It should always be we trade test results. And everyone gets tested husband as well.

More of just a mis-spoken moment. I test every six months and just keep a copy in my purse so I never really think too much about it. Some men ask for it and some never mention it. Also though if it is someone I do not know well I will use a condom most of the time. I apologize if it came off as a privileged answer as I was not meaning it to be so.

 

[housewifenheat]

I do a public say hello meeting with my spouse there as well. I have met men without my spouse being there. When I have met by myself I always made sure that my spouse and another friend knew where I was. The public meeting is to get to know someone more and to see if there is chemistry. Safety is Paramount in this lifestyle.

 

[avaadore]

More of just a mis-spoken moment. I test every six months and just keep a copy in my purse so I never really think too much about it. Some men ask for it and some never mention it. Also though if it is someone I do not know well I will use a condom most of the time. I apologize if it came off as a privileged answer as I was not meaning it to be so.

You only test twice a year, don't always discuss testing and don't always use a condom?

That's risky behaviour, in my opinion, if you're routinely having new partners.

 

[JJ4BBC]

You only test twice a year, don't always discuss testing and don't always use a condom?

That's risky behaviour, in my opinion, if you're routinely having new partners.

I do a lot more with men I've known for awhile or have connections with rather than new partners all the time. I would agree that if you're always doing new men then you should probably get tested more often.

 

[avaadore]

I do a lot more with men I've known for awhile or have connections with rather than new partners all the time. I would agree that if you're always doing new men then you should probably get tested more often.

You're in charge of your own healthcare and risk/benefit analysis.

Personally, I test every 12 weeks or with every new partner, whichever comes first. I haven't taken on a new partner in nearly two years but I never sleep with someone new without having the talk about testing and I won't even entertain someone who tries to get out of using condoms or has an online gallery full of unprotected sex.

I realize most people are more relaxed about it but it's not just my own health I'm protecting. It's my husband's, my primary fwb and the other men I see occasionally. Sure, it sucks getting swabbed in every hole and a bunch of bloodwork done every 12 weeks but peace of mind is priceless.

 

[Relly69]

It's not wrong to ask questions..

Yes, she's unverified and the post history is suspect but this is still a sensible post. Not everyone has been out and wild their whole adult life and knows how to approach casual sex and/or multiple partners. It's better to look for guidance than run out pussy first and get hurt.


Personally, I don't fuck with anonymous sex. I did when I was younger and had a lot less concern for my own safety and pleasure. Some random guy jack rabbiting on me for 7 minutes is no longer worth my time lol

If I'm vetting someone I spend legit time getting to know them online before I transition to real life. I want to be pretty damn sure I know who I'm meeting and what they're all about.

In terms of testing, because I've seen you mention it several times, the fact that someone is getting regularly tested and open to talking about it is going to tell you a lot more than actual results. Test results are a snapshot of a very specific moment in time, the person could go immediately from the clinic to someone's bed and catch something. Or they could assume they're getting a full panel when they're not - that's ridiculously common - standard testing doesn't check for HSV, mycoplasma, ureaplasma, etc. "Getting tested" pretty much always means HIV, HPV, Hep, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis and occasionally trich. So someone could show you negative test results but still be carrying something harmful to you.

Yes, condoms suck, but IMO its not worth the risk unless you trust that person to be considering not only their own sexual health but yours and acting in your best interests. That's literally never going to happen with a one night stand.

In terms of vetting for safety against violence, use judgement like you would in any situation and trust your gut. How does this person respond when you say no to something (ex. sending a specific picture)? Are they respectful of your boundaries or do they continue to press you? If meeting in person, do you get a bad gut feeling? Pay attention to red flags.

You are correct it’s never wrong to ask questions and no question is stupid.

But common sense should dictate that basic safe sex principles are applicable to ANY sexual encounter regardless of its kind, casual or not. Which led me to think that this person was just fishing for attention or just likes to talk, common attributes of a fake profile/person.