Hesitant girlfriend…

Myhunger said:
Why would you do that? You have to know that what turns us on is not the same for the women. If you bombard her with your juvenile masturbation fantasies, you are going to only delay what you are hoping will happen.

Stop manipulating your girlfriend. When you try to get someone to do something that they didn’t initially want to do, that’s manipulation.

Now, if you’re trying to unlock, turn on’s and fantasies that she wasn’t comfortable expressing before, that is a different story. But you don’t do that by going at her like a 15-year-old boy, no offense.

Women, when they are first introduced to this lifestyle, have a large number of things to overcome. They are worried about their own ethics and morality. They are worried about if they start thinking about other men that someday you will want to have other women. Even though no one else may ever know, they still worry about what other people may think of them. They worry that this fantasy means you don’t want her the way you used to. They worry that you are pushing them into someone else’s arms and what that means. And 50 other things.

When I told you that you need to have conversations about it, I didn’t just mean you telling her your fantasies. A genuine cuckold relationship means that you put her pleasure first. While you are eager to please her, you are more focused on getting what you want.

I am saying this because I genuinely want good things for you to happen. This will not end the way you hope it will if you continue the way you are going.

Trying to convince her through big toys and porn and dirty memes is a little juvenile. If you want this to be real, and to be something that lasts, then treat her like the queen that she is, and approach her with vulnerability, and communicate, not just your needs and fantasies, But talk more about the WHY than the what.

If you want her to go along with your ideas, then she needs to understand where they come from. And then you need to encourage her to talk to you about her genuine interests, her hesitations, her fears. Only then well this turn into anything.

Right now, the best that you can hope for is that she gets laid on some drunken night that she will regret later. That’s not what you want.
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Okay, perfect advice! Thank you very much mate. No offence taken. It is all support that I need :)
 
jxjx said:
Okay, perfect advice! Thank you very much mate. No offence taken. It is all support that I need :)
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A lot of times the advice that is given here is from men with their hand wrapped around their dick, trying to live vicariously through you. That’s not always the best advice to be listening to. This isn’t some erotic story, this is your life and your relationship.

Be smart, be bold, don’t play games and be mature about how you approach it and she will respond in kind. I promise.
 
Myhunger said:
A lot of times the advice that is given here is from men with their hand wrapped around their dick, trying to live vicariously through you. That’s not always the best advice to be listening to. This isn’t some erotic story, this is your life and your relationship.

Be smart, be bold, don’t play games and be mature about how you approach it and she will respond in kind. I promise.
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Legend! Makes complete sense.
 
Everyone has an opinion. What works for some may not be what’s best for others. You know your girl and you both are enjoying the journey. You will get to your talk in due time don’t be bullied into something that isn’t a good fit for you and your girl. It appears your approach is working just fine!

BTW it’s only natural for guys to jack off to your efforts to black your girl, after all we are all on black to white and your girl is hot. I think everyone has a right to post on their ideas for you moving forward, take their advice and experiences as you see fit, discard the ones you don’t like. For someone on this site of all sites to call posters out is bullshit.
 
Myhunger said:
Why would you do that? You have to know that what turns us on is not the same for the women. If you bombard her with your juvenile masturbation fantasies, you are going to only delay what you are hoping will happen.

Stop manipulating your girlfriend. When you try to get someone to do something that they didn’t initially want to do, that’s manipulation.

Now, if you’re trying to unlock, turn on’s and fantasies that she wasn’t comfortable expressing before, that is a different story. But you don’t do that by going at her like a 15-year-old boy, no offense.

Women, when they are first introduced to this lifestyle, have a large number of things to overcome. They are worried about their own ethics and morality. They are worried about if they start thinking about other men that someday you will want to have other women. Even though no one else may ever know, they still worry about what other people may think of them. They worry that this fantasy means you don’t want her the way you used to. They worry that you are pushing them into someone else’s arms and what that means. And 50 other things.

When I told you that you need to have conversations about it, I didn’t just mean you telling her your fantasies. A genuine cuckold relationship means that you put her pleasure first. While you are eager to please her, you are more focused on getting what you want.

I am saying this because I genuinely want good things for you to happen. This will not end the way you hope it will if you continue the way you are going.

Trying to convince her through big toys and porn and dirty memes is a little juvenile. If you want this to be real, and to be something that lasts, then treat her like the queen that she is, and approach her with vulnerability, and communicate, not just your needs and fantasies, But talk more about the WHY than the what.

If you want her to go along with your ideas, then she needs to understand where they come from. And then you need to encourage her to talk to you about her genuine interests, her hesitations, her fears. Only then well this turn into anything.

Right now, the best that you can hope for is that she gets laid on some drunken night that she will regret later. That’s not what you want.
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If I did this approach what his doing my wife would be turned off. I took my time . We started with little things and watched IR porn together. I planted the seed and now she brings it up on her own. We been doing this fantasy for 2 years and we both agreed we will make it a reality when the times right . His definitely forsing it too much for my liking
 
I will lay off it for a bit.

They aren’t fantasy sized by the way. I’ve seen dick as big as that and they are on Blacked Raw porn. Julio Gomez for example.
 
jxjx said:
I will lay off it for a bit.

They aren’t fantasy sized by the way. I’ve seen dick as big as that and they are on Blacked Raw porn. Julio Gomez for example.
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You do realise not every black guy is hung like this though right? Your speaking about her going home with a guy the other night he could have a average size cock just like white men.
 
whitepvnda said:
You do realise not every black guy is hung like this though right? Your speaking about her going home with a guy the other night ne could have an average size cock just like white men.
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That is true.

Black guys typically are bigger though.
 
jxjx said:
That is true.

Black guys typically are bigger though.
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So are some white guys though. Do you know what my advice is..Hop on fabswingers check out some profiles and then come back to me . Sure there's some guys who are girthy and there's some black guys average. Might be a good idea to make a joint account with your wife and have a sneak peek 😉
 
whitepvnda said:
So are some white guys though. Do you know what my advice is..Hop on fabswingers check out some profiles and then come back to me . Sure there's some guys who are girthy and there's some black guys average. Might be a good idea to make a joint account with your wife and have a sneak peek 😉
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I’ll take a look mate!
 
Again, I think your approach has worked great to this point. She’s having fun with it as well. Why change for others?

My thoughts would be incorporate watching IR porn together and continue to plant the seed. You two will get their together. Btw I think not only size is exciting but the contrast in skin takes us over the moon. At least in my case.
 
jxjx said:
Right okay. More progress.

We got home from her mums and dads. I asked her “what were these sex dreams then, what did they entail?”

Now, I was expecting an answer like “I can’t remember, it was blurry” or “just me and you babe”

She answered with no hesitation, “It was me basically in bed with a black man, having sex with him” with a big smile on her face

And I said “oh right”

And she looked at my dick, I’m wearing boxers. “Look at you getting hard already”

And I was like “well, obviously. You obviously liked it” and she was like “well, it did make me wet” and I smiled. I asked “was he big?” and she said “I can’t remember any fine detail as it went all so quick”

I was like “ohhh she’s liking this fantasy now”

And she was like “noooo, it was jus a dream, I’m laying down the laww”

And I was just smiling.

She said “I must have liked it, because otherwise I wouldn’t have been so wet but it’s going to go no further than our toys and a dream”
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I would stop ,and just except that, and move on . She's a keeper, just keep it a fantasy
 
private eye said:
Again, I think your approach has worked great to this point. She’s having fun with it as well. Why change for others?

My thoughts would be incorporate watching IR porn together and continue to plant the seed. You two will get their together. Btw I think not only size is exciting but the contrast in skin takes us over the moon. At least in my case.
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The contrast in skin is another thing.

Also, I do think I carry on as I am. I do understand laying off it a bit but I do think the gifs and images, that I put together for her… she did tell me that they do make her wet.

I think she is finding it fun aswell. Like, if I don’t bring it up, she will bring it up.

I think she likes it just as much but I will take it slow but I will carry on as I am I think.
 
jxjx said:
The contrast in skin is another thing.

Also, I do think I carry on as I am. I do understand laying off it a bit but I do think the gifs and images, that I put together for her… she did tell me that they do make her wet.

I think she is finding it fun aswell. Like, if I don’t bring it up, she will bring it up.

I think she likes it just as much but I will take it slow but I will carry on as I am I think.
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I think that is right, when you totally stop it she might think that she has done something wrong exposing her dream to you. Watching IR porn together with her and using the toys frequently to pleasure her would be a good next level. Just keep her fantasies going, they will become stronger
 
i think you will notice it when you are going to far. So far it sounds like that she enjoys it, when you are using the toys on her and make her more think about sex. I would slowly keep going like this, no rush to get her the real bbc
 
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