The brain is the biggest sexual organ and the imagery we create together with our partners is the key where all arousal actually begins. And arousal is preliminary to having an orgasm at all - any type of. Also we need to relax and allow our bodies to respond to stimulation naturally.
Like others have said before... many/most Women do not cum from vaginal penetration alone. It is not an issue or dysfunction! - The clitoral gland is seated on the outside of the body for a reason.
If you or your partner consider it a problem, the negative side-effect could easily be that she will be trying too hard and concentrate too much on the "goal" of having that vaginal o. instead of all aspects of the love-making experience that would otherwise enable her to have an orgasm in the first place. The necessary level of relaxation can perhaps not be achieved when the conscious mind is too focused on the "end-goal" of having an orgasm instead of every aspect of sex that would have lead to higher arousal.
my advice: just enjoy sex, every aspect thereof, without pressure! Don't expect anything, just see what comes along. After all - even without an orgasm - it is pleasurable!
Coming back to the first sentence of this post... make sure to know what turns your partner on! Start with imagery and not physical stimuli. Having good sex is a progression that starts with getting in the mood for sex. If your partner is not in the mood, physical stimulation will not be appealing, sensed as invasive or even hurtful. Find out what scenarios and fantasies get your partner off and explore those together. Sex does not equal intercourse! - It is a sensual experience that involves all senses. Good foreplay builds up desire, sexual tension and increases arousal, therefore it is very important for a good overall experience (and the journey to orgasms). Also good foreplay involves all senses.
That is true for both men and Women. However it seems that weights are different. Men are typically more focused on visual stimulation than Women. Many men do not understand that making compliments, making a Woman feel beautiful, sexy and lusted after is indeed a sexual(!) stimulus for many Women, an actual part of foreplay. So is whispering "naughty teasers" in her ear. Telling her what you would like to do to her right now to get the imagery going instead of just doing them, and role-playing (her!) fantasies - even if that is verbally only - are all elements of sex (which "foreplay" is a part of).
my advice: involve Her fantasies in your lovemaking; See foreplay as a part of sex that involves all senses and not just physical stimulation. Watch closely Her reactions and actions in order to understand when she is ready for the next move - sex is a dynamic of two (or more ) people. Know yourself first, and know your partner, Her/his likes and dislikes, to achieve better sex!
Becoming physical... Yes, physical stimulation becomes important at one point. It is essential to know that the whole body is erogenous. Getting closer, feeling the partner's breath, skin-to-skin contact, touching, kissing, stripping off of clothes, ... are all part of sexual physical stimulation. They add to attraction, mindset and imagery, and increase arousal. Be creative and learn. No person is the same and a recipe how to do it that would be right for everybody does not exist. But in most cases (slowly) "working down to" the genitals instead of just pushing "him" inside is the route to go.
Typical erogenous zones include earlaps, the neck, breasts and nipples, buttocks, the soft skin of the inner ellbows and knees, the belly and navel, the feet, the clitoral gland, perineum and anus, the vulva and vagina, the back (in particular a spot on the lower spine just above the pelvis) and hips. That is just an incomplete list that came to my mind while writing this. Again i say everyone is different and what feels good for one person may not feel as pleasurable for another. Try to avoid distracting stimuli like strong tickling and be cautious with very sensitive areas.
my advice: increase arousal and work up to penetrative sex by involving all senses - and for physical stimulation - the whole body. Use your hands and lips. Know yourself and find out what works best to satisfy your partner; which erogenous zones are best stimulated how and in what order? Do not avoid talking about each of your sexual needs and fantasies and see how you can build them into your sexual play!
Becoming more physical... Well as i said above, knowing yourself, what stimulates you mentally and physically, and making that known to your partner, are important for good sex. And you get to know yourself best through exploration. Do not avoid masturbation! Find out what triggers your sexuality on your own, what fantasies, what stimuli, and build those into your sexual activities with your partner. It's all work in progress. Your ability of experiencing pleasure and perhaps orgasms are not set in stone but enabled to evolve. Prepare yourself for a better sexual experience. There are a few techniques known to increase the intensity of sex and the ability to have (better) orgasms. i will mention just a few here by name: Pelvic floor muscle training and vaginal muscle training (both for strength and conscious control); tantric breathing techniques and relaxation exercises; yoga.
my advice: do not avoid exploring yourself via masturbation; inform yourself about "training techniques" that may help you improve your sexual experience, and exercise. But... do not do anything under pressure, either because you feel you are lacking - you are not! -, or simply to please your partner. If you are going the route of improving via doing exercises and using known techniques, do it in a playful manner wthout ******* and see if you can include those in your masturbation and couple activities!
TLDR:
- know yoursef (your own sexuality) - mind and body; explore yourself via masturbation
- know your partner (your partner's sexuality) - mind and body; talk about each other's likes and dislikes and "show them your spots/buttons".
- don't think of sex in a certain way (what it should be about or look like) but instead just do what feels good (for both you and your partner); be playful and explorative
- sex involves all senses, and not only the genitalia
- create trust in your partner and relax; remove pressure and be creative
- sex is not simply an act - it's a progression (from mental to physical stimulation) where stages are (a) the mood for sex, (b) an ongoing increase in arousal, (c) satisfaction, and (not mentioned above) (d) bonding in the "aftermath" (when many people consider sex as being over - it's still on )
- the physical aspect of sex is also progressive - stimulate different parts of the body and not just the genitals; rather "work your way" toward the genitals and the penetrative aspect of sex
- make use of online and other informative sources for how you can increase your ability to receive sexual pleasure and to have (better) orgasms; stick with techniques and exercises rather than products! - most of those don't work (well)
- and most of all...
Have fun!