Help from some of the women on here, wife doesn’t orgasm vaginally

N

NaughtiaCpl

Male
From
TN, US
Hey, I was hoping some of the women on here might be able to help me out and offer some advice.

My wife had let me know early on in our relationship that she would only ever orgasm from clitoral stimulation. This hasn’t even been a problem, and we have a fantastic sex life, but it is kind of a dampener for me when it comes to the interracial fantasy.

I had recently bought her a large dildo (Aston from blackcockdildos) and had hoped it would stimulate her more, but my wife has reported that it still doesn’t do anything for her. She’ll still let me use the dildo on her because she knows how much it turns me on, but i has really hoped it would be something we would both enjoy.

So, ladies, have any of you had this issue, and if so, is there anything I can do to help remedy this situation?
 
Getting ready to purchase an Aston for my wife as well. I don't think my wife has ever cum without clitoral stimulation either.

Why not use it and finger/lick her clit while she does? I never envisioned not being involved just because I bought her a dildo.
 
Very rare for me to orgasm from penetration. My old bull managed quite often, husband used to be able to. Not sure if it's part mental or not
 
Rathar said:
Hey, I was hoping some of the women on here might be able to help me out and offer some advice.

My wife had let me know early on in our relationship that she would only ever orgasm from clitoral stimulation. This hasn’t even been a problem, and we have a fantastic sex life, but it is kind of a dampener for me when it comes to the interracial fantasy.

I had recently bought her a large dildo (Aston from blackcockdildos) and had hoped it would stimulate her more, but my wife has reported that it still doesn’t do anything for her. She’ll still let me use the dildo on her because she knows how much it turns me on, but i has really hoped it would be something we would both enjoy.

So, ladies, have any of you had this issue, and if so, is there anything I can do to help remedy this situation?
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The brain is the most powerful sex organ and the key to mind blowing sex so my advice is focus on what turns her on and not what gets you going at least some of the time I’m sure my wife would agree
 
It's very rare. Most men don't realize that the clitoris is the real female sexual organ... penetration is important but it's a secondary pleasure zone. The only time I ever climax from penetration is when I've already climaxed from clitoral stimulation. For instance, oral sex before sex is always the best, because to be honest if there's no clitoral stimilation first, penetration doesn't actual feel all too good. This is why foreplay is SOOOOO IMPORTANT. Sadly, male needs are most often put first in the bedroom, so most women have just grown accustomed to really enjoying sex about 20% of the time that they have it. (Or, whenever there is foreplay and other types of stimulation.)

Many of us stimulate ourselves during sex, which is fine except you can only really do that in certain positions, and it definitely is a different experience. I always sort of feel disconnected from the partner if I'm stimulating myself.

It's interesting to me that you say that it's a "dampener" on the interracial fantasy. Why? I think many of us feel a lot of pressure to kind of play along with the giant-dick fantasy, but the truth is that a giant dick won't move anyone if you don't have moves in bed. I mean, a giant dick on its own with no other foreplay, stimulation etc is just a recipe for discomfort you know? It's like an oven... sex doesn't feel amazing until the oven is preheated. If the goal is just to watch a pussy get pounded, I would stick to watching porn rather than putting the wife through that. If the goal is for the wife to actually have an insane sexual experience.... I think the husbands and the bulls gotta understand how the female body really works and what really gives us pleasure.
 
HelenOfTrois said:
It's very rare. Most men don't realize that the clitoris is the real female sexual organ... penetration is important but it's a secondary pleasure zone. The only time I ever climax from penetration is when I've already climaxed from clitoral stimulation. For instance, oral sex before sex is always the best, because to be honest if there's no clitoral stimilation first, penetration doesn't actual feel all too good. This is why foreplay is SOOOOO IMPORTANT. Sadly, male needs are most often put first in the bedroom, so most women have just grown accustomed to really enjoying sex about 20% of the time that they have it. (Or, whenever there is foreplay and other types of stimulation.)

Many of us stimulate ourselves during sex, which is fine except you can only really do that in certain positions, and it definitely is a different experience. I always sort of feel disconnected from the partner if I'm stimulating myself.

It's interesting to me that you say that it's a "dampener" on the interracial fantasy. Why? I think many of us feel a lot of pressure to kind of play along with the giant-dick fantasy, but the truth is that a giant dick won't move anyone if you don't have moves in bed. I mean, a giant dick on its own with no other foreplay, stimulation etc is just a recipe for discomfort you know? It's like an oven... sex doesn't feel amazing until the oven is preheated. If the goal is just to watch a pussy get pounded, I would stick to watching porn rather than putting the wife through that. If the goal is for the wife to actually have an insane sexual experience.... I think the husbands and the bulls gotta understand how the female body really works and what really gives us pleasure.
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My wife doesn’t like her clit played with at all
 
Hotwife fun77 said:
She says it’s to sensitive no direct stimulation
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That's the thing...it is extremely sensitive. If you just directly touch the clitoris, it can be very painful. She's probably had a lot of encounters where someone touched her too directly, too hard. But I bet she knows how stimulate her own clitoris. You could ask her to show you how she does it.... 😊
I've had relationships where I didn't want oral sex because the guy was just too hard and direct about it. It can be super super uncomfortable that way. But in reality, oral sex is one of my favorite things and it skyrockets the pleasure of the whole sexual experience if done correctly. The clit has to be "suggested " rather than pressed hard. If pressed hard, it shoots pain through the entire pelvis and lower body.

I have always wondered if any part of the male body is the same?? Maybe it's similar to the testicals?
 
HelenOfTrois said:
That's the thing...it is extremely sensitive. If you just directly touch the clitoris, it can be very painful. She's probably had a lot of encounters where someone touched her too directly, too hard. But I bet she knows how stimulate her own clitoris. You could ask her to show you how she does it.... 😊
I've had relationships where I didn't want oral sex because the guy was just too hard and direct about it. It can be super super uncomfortable that way. But in reality, oral sex is one of my favorite things and it skyrockets the pleasure of the whole sexual experience if done correctly. The clit has to be "suggested " rather than pressed hard. If pressed hard, it shoots pain through the entire pelvis and lower body.

I have always wondered if any part of the male body is the same?? Maybe it's similar to the testicals?
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I’ve tried everything
 
My wife cums alot since she laboured our baby. She also did before but it was harder. I used to lick her pussy and only then use my penis on her vagina and also making her soaking wet by foreplay was key. Ever since we've been married and we have a baby she is alot more orgasmic and I can now have sex with her up to the point where she can't go on anymore and she will cum many times even without foreplay. Very rare for us that she asks for another round and I came already which only happens when we involve some hotwife fantasies and I can't hold it for too long. Still Sex is better for both husband and wife with some extended foreplay. After all thats what this whole lifestyle is about, right? People that put the arousal of fantasy, build up and situation over the actual sex.
However, never cumming from vaginal stimulation alone isn't the point nor should it be a dampener and if she was still able to cum from vaginal stimulation you wouldn't find out with a dildo.
Try arousing her as much as possible, let her starve from sexuality for quite some time and then go super sexy and intimate and somewhat perverted, do some build up, awake that feeling you had when you first experienced sexuality in your life, how exciting and delicious it looked, how hidden it was and how much you wanted it, how incredibly horny it made you and make her spend time in that feeling and you should, too. Don't cum for a couple of months. Thats the most important point! When she can't hold it anymore give her the fuck of her life. If she can come vaginally you will find out that way. If not its still so much more than any vaginal orgasm will ever give anybody. Satisfaction is nothing without anticipation. Orgasms are overrated.
 
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My wife never came vaginally until she found her guy. My penis never got her off, only my tongue and fingers make her cum.
Her guy’s cock not only makes her cum but she floods the bed when she squirts.
 
I haven't cum with intercourse unless my clit is played with. For years I have come to terms that it will never happen and that was fine because only 20% of women come with intercourse alone. It wasn't until we entered the lifestyle that I felt very much, less than a women because of that issue. It seemed as though every woman in the lifestyle can come during intercourse. I have come to realize that many women fake it because of the pressure to do so. I would LOVE to come with only intercourse. I have spoke to doctors, read articles, books and paid for unless creams that are a cure all for the female orgasm. If I had a dollar for every time I have heard a man say, "what till you have this dick, you will come all it!" I could have paid for all the money I spent on the creams. It is also interesting to me that the men are the ones that tell how to make a women come......all you have to do is stick a finger in her as, rub her clit and BOMB she cums. All women are different, every clit is different, every thing that turns one woman on is different than the next. It is a mans job to find out what turns her on. It is the woman's job to inform her partner what turns her on. In that bed it is a partnership to both reach climax in whatever why that is. One more thing, in that bed a woman needs to feel like a woman, not that she is less than because she "can't" achieve something that you desire for her to do. She already has that desire and doesn't need to feel like she is not a real woman because she can't do what only 20% of women can do.
 
Jojoxoxo said:
I haven't cum with intercourse unless my clit is played with. For years I have come to terms that it will never happen and that was fine because only 20% of women come with intercourse alone. It wasn't until we entered the lifestyle that I felt very much, less than a women because of that issue. It seemed as though every woman in the lifestyle can come during intercourse. I have come to realize that many women fake it because of the pressure to do so. I would LOVE to come with only intercourse. I have spoke to doctors, read articles, books and paid for unless creams that are a cure all for the female orgasm. If I had a dollar for every time I have heard a man say, "what till you have this dick, you will come all it!" I could have paid for all the money I spent on the creams. It is also interesting to me that the men are the ones that tell how to make a women come......all you have to do is stick a finger in her as, rub her clit and BOMB she cums. All women are different, every clit is different, every thing that turns one woman on is different than the next. It is a mans job to find out what turns her on. It is the woman's job to inform her partner what turns her on. In that bed it is a partnership to both reach climax in whatever why that is. One more thing, in that bed a woman needs to feel like a woman, not that she is less than because she "can't" achieve something that you desire for her to do. She already has that desire and doesn't need to feel like she is not a real woman because she can't do what only 20% of women can do.
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Well said.
Concentrate on good sex, not good orgasms. Take it from the cuckolds. They barely ever cum and still having the best sex of their lives. Anyways I like to caress her clitoris with my hand while penetrating and sex is good for arousal, not orgasms I'd say. Its hot. Nothing less female about that.
 
The brain is the biggest sexual organ and the imagery we create together with our partners is the key where all arousal actually begins. And arousal is preliminary to having an orgasm at all - any type of. Also we need to relax and allow our bodies to respond to stimulation naturally.

Like others have said before... many/most Women do not cum from vaginal penetration alone. It is not an issue or dysfunction! - The clitoral gland is seated on the outside of the body for a reason. ;) If you or your partner consider it a problem, the negative side-effect could easily be that she will be trying too hard and concentrate too much on the "goal" of having that vaginal o. instead of all aspects of the love-making experience that would otherwise enable her to have an orgasm in the first place. The necessary level of relaxation can perhaps not be achieved when the conscious mind is too focused on the "end-goal" of having an orgasm instead of every aspect of sex that would have lead to higher arousal.

my advice: just enjoy sex, every aspect thereof, without pressure! Don't expect anything, just see what comes along. After all - even without an orgasm - it is pleasurable! ;)


Coming back to the first sentence of this post... make sure to know what turns your partner on! Start with imagery and not physical stimuli. Having good sex is a progression that starts with getting in the mood for sex. If your partner is not in the mood, physical stimulation will not be appealing, sensed as invasive or even hurtful. Find out what scenarios and fantasies get your partner off and explore those together. Sex does not equal intercourse! - It is a sensual experience that involves all senses. Good foreplay builds up desire, sexual tension and increases arousal, therefore it is very important for a good overall experience (and the journey to orgasms). Also good foreplay involves all senses.

That is true for both men and Women. However it seems that weights are different. Men are typically more focused on visual stimulation than Women. Many men do not understand that making compliments, making a Woman feel beautiful, sexy and lusted after is indeed a sexual(!) stimulus for many Women, an actual part of foreplay. So is whispering "naughty teasers" in her ear. Telling her what you would like to do to her right now to get the imagery going instead of just doing them, and role-playing (her!) fantasies - even if that is verbally only - are all elements of sex (which "foreplay" is a part of).

my advice: involve Her fantasies in your lovemaking; See foreplay as a part of sex that involves all senses and not just physical stimulation. Watch closely Her reactions and actions in order to understand when she is ready for the next move - sex is a dynamic of two (or more ;) ) people. Know yourself first, and know your partner, Her/his likes and dislikes, to achieve better sex!


Becoming physical... Yes, physical stimulation becomes important at one point. It is essential to know that the whole body is erogenous. Getting closer, feeling the partner's breath, skin-to-skin contact, touching, kissing, stripping off of clothes, ... are all part of sexual physical stimulation. They add to attraction, mindset and imagery, and increase arousal. Be creative and learn. No person is the same and a recipe how to do it that would be right for everybody does not exist. But in most cases (slowly) "working down to" the genitals instead of just pushing "him" inside is the route to go.

Typical erogenous zones include earlaps, the neck, breasts and nipples, buttocks, the soft skin of the inner ellbows and knees, the belly and navel, the feet, the clitoral gland, perineum and anus, the vulva and vagina, the back (in particular a spot on the lower spine just above the pelvis) and hips. That is just an incomplete list that came to my mind while writing this. Again i say everyone is different and what feels good for one person may not feel as pleasurable for another. Try to avoid distracting stimuli like strong tickling and be cautious with very sensitive areas.

my advice: increase arousal and work up to penetrative sex by involving all senses - and for physical stimulation - the whole body. Use your hands and lips. Know yourself and find out what works best to satisfy your partner; which erogenous zones are best stimulated how and in what order? Do not avoid talking about each of your sexual needs and fantasies and see how you can build them into your sexual play!


Becoming more physical... Well as i said above, knowing yourself, what stimulates you mentally and physically, and making that known to your partner, are important for good sex. And you get to know yourself best through exploration. Do not avoid masturbation! Find out what triggers your sexuality on your own, what fantasies, what stimuli, and build those into your sexual activities with your partner. It's all work in progress. Your ability of experiencing pleasure and perhaps orgasms are not set in stone but enabled to evolve. Prepare yourself for a better sexual experience. There are a few techniques known to increase the intensity of sex and the ability to have (better) orgasms. i will mention just a few here by name: Pelvic floor muscle training and vaginal muscle training (both for strength and conscious control); tantric breathing techniques and relaxation exercises; yoga.

my advice: do not avoid exploring yourself via masturbation; inform yourself about "training techniques" that may help you improve your sexual experience, and exercise. But... do not do anything under pressure, either because you feel you are lacking - you are not! -, or simply to please your partner. If you are going the route of improving via doing exercises and using known techniques, do it in a playful manner wthout ******* and see if you can include those in your masturbation and couple activities!


TLDR:
  • know yoursef (your own sexuality) - mind and body; explore yourself via masturbation
  • know your partner (your partner's sexuality) - mind and body; talk about each other's likes and dislikes and "show them your spots/buttons".
  • don't think of sex in a certain way (what it should be about or look like) but instead just do what feels good (for both you and your partner); be playful and explorative
  • sex involves all senses, and not only the genitalia
  • create trust in your partner and relax; remove pressure and be creative
  • sex is not simply an act - it's a progression (from mental to physical stimulation) where stages are (a) the mood for sex, (b) an ongoing increase in arousal, (c) satisfaction, and (not mentioned above) (d) bonding in the "aftermath" (when many people consider sex as being over - it's still on ;) )
  • the physical aspect of sex is also progressive - stimulate different parts of the body and not just the genitals; rather "work your way" toward the genitals and the penetrative aspect of sex
  • make use of online and other informative sources for how you can increase your ability to receive sexual pleasure and to have (better) orgasms; stick with techniques and exercises rather than products! - most of those don't work (well)
  • and most of all...
Have fun! :)
 
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