Roughly 50% of the guys that have messaged us start with one word messages. Or their pictures and/or appearance is simply not appealing.
harsh reality for a black man
- Thread starter Nolabull
- Start date
Roughly 50% of the guys that have messaged us start with one word messages. Or their pictures and/or appearance is simply not appealing.
Tuttavia, questa non mi sembra una questione di maleducazione, ma di analfabetismo e incapacità di esprimersi e ragionare.
Well, after being on this site for I think almost a year, I will actually get to meet up with a hot woman have to go all the way from Texas to Memphis
It seems like there’s a lot when you read message boards but non monogamy which includes poly/swingers/hotwives is by far the minority among relationships and black-only/QOS is a niche of a niche within that.
Once you get plugged in IRL, you realize it’s a small community. If you get a good or bad rep, it’ll stay with you. That’s why validations are so important on lifestyle sites.
Wife and I hate meeting off the internet. It’s a waste of time once you know your way around the lifestyle. We prefer to make contacts at swingers clubs or lifestyle events and then stay in touch with people we know we have real life chemistry with. Or ask for introductions if we’re traveling somewhere new.
That said, when it comes to online, most single guys (white or black) fail miserably at presenting well.
Here’s what my wife looks at:
Photos - should have face and body in normal environments and present like a professional adult. No cluttered backgrounds and filthy apartments. She doesn’t care about cock pics and action shots at all and too many grosses her out honestly.
Profile - should be complete, in full sentences and make you look like a well rounded human being. Tell interesting things about your non sexual life and interests. If you have a really specific thing you’re interested in, kink or turn-off, mention it but otherwise, we all like most of the same things about sex and know why we’re on an adult site so no need to go on about it.
Messaging - guys screw this up in so many ways! Nobody wants to exchange a laundry list of positions or kinks. No woman wants to hear how dominant you are and what you’re going to do to her off the bat without getting to know you first. Nobody wants endless requests for more pics. Couples get a lot of messages so if you have one word answers, don’t ask interesting questions or make her carry the convo, she’s tuned out and you’re done.
No “hello????” messages you don’t get a response right away. People have lives and you look needy.
When it comes to planning a meet, realize YOU are the single unattached one. Couples have careers and family, need babysitters etc so if you get impatient you’re done. If you expect to meet to play off the bat without a public meeting, you’re done for us and a lot of couples.
This goes both ways too. A couple should show you respect. If you allow yourself to be treated like a live action dildo, you’re gonna attract couples that treat men that way.
Rant over lol.
Once you get plugged in IRL, you realize it’s a small community. If you get a good or bad rep, it’ll stay with you. That’s why validations are so important on lifestyle sites.
Wife and I hate meeting off the internet. It’s a waste of time once you know your way around the lifestyle. We prefer to make contacts at swingers clubs or lifestyle events and then stay in touch with people we know we have real life chemistry with. Or ask for introductions if we’re traveling somewhere new.
That said, when it comes to online, most single guys (white or black) fail miserably at presenting well.
Here’s what my wife looks at:
Photos - should have face and body in normal environments and present like a professional adult. No cluttered backgrounds and filthy apartments. She doesn’t care about cock pics and action shots at all and too many grosses her out honestly.
Profile - should be complete, in full sentences and make you look like a well rounded human being. Tell interesting things about your non sexual life and interests. If you have a really specific thing you’re interested in, kink or turn-off, mention it but otherwise, we all like most of the same things about sex and know why we’re on an adult site so no need to go on about it.
Messaging - guys screw this up in so many ways! Nobody wants to exchange a laundry list of positions or kinks. No woman wants to hear how dominant you are and what you’re going to do to her off the bat without getting to know you first. Nobody wants endless requests for more pics. Couples get a lot of messages so if you have one word answers, don’t ask interesting questions or make her carry the convo, she’s tuned out and you’re done.
No “hello????” messages you don’t get a response right away. People have lives and you look needy.
When it comes to planning a meet, realize YOU are the single unattached one. Couples have careers and family, need babysitters etc so if you get impatient you’re done. If you expect to meet to play off the bat without a public meeting, you’re done for us and a lot of couples.
This goes both ways too. A couple should show you respect. If you allow yourself to be treated like a live action dildo, you’re gonna attract couples that treat men that way.
Rant over lol.
Maybe if you’re only looking for a select few people to connect with and become friends with benefits does it make sense to meet in person at lifestyle clubs and parties. I avoid those places for exactly that reason. I’m not interested in finding someone I’m compatible with. I already found that man. Sluts like me want to experience lots of hot guys with big cocks. You’re generally not going to find them at the swingers club where there’s no barrier to entry based on appearance. The other benefit of not going to lifestyle clubs is that I don’t have to deal with white guys hitting on me. It’s the 21st century and if you can’t figure out how to meet people online for sex then you’re just not savvy.
One of the benefits of being a content creator is that I have plenty of well endowed black men reaching out to me. This also allows me to be picky if I want (though I do end up getting fucked and seeded by the majority of black men that I connect with online
). I’ve streamlined my process for meeting guys as much as is possible and it’s at the very least 3 days from first communication to meeting to fuck. Normally it takes a week or two since they have to provide recent clean test results. This has been my system for the past year which has allowed me to get fucked by 61 different black men in that time.
That’s the difference between a vanilla lifestyler and a QOS.
One of the benefits of being a content creator is that I have plenty of well endowed black men reaching out to me. This also allows me to be picky if I want (though I do end up getting fucked and seeded by the majority of black men that I connect with online
). I’ve streamlined my process for meeting guys as much as is possible and it’s at the very least 3 days from first communication to meeting to fuck. Normally it takes a week or two since they have to provide recent clean test results. This has been my system for the past year which has allowed me to get fucked by 61 different black men in that time.That’s the difference between a vanilla lifestyler and a QOS.
BrianIRAddict
Male
You're doing great! It seems like you've thought a lot about how to find the best guys.Maybe if you’re only looking for a select few people to connect with and become friends with benefits does it make sense to meet in person at lifestyle clubs and parties. I avoid those places for exactly that reason. I’m not interested in finding someone I’m compatible with. I already found that man. Sluts like me want to experience lots of hot guys with big cocks. You’re generally not going to find them at the swingers club where there’s no barrier to entry based on appearance. The other benefit of not going to lifestyle clubs is that I don’t have to deal with white guys hitting on me. It’s the 21st century and if you can’t figure out how to meet people online for sex then you’re just not savvy.
One of the benefits of being a content creator is that I have plenty of well endowed black men reaching out to me. This also allows me to be picky if I want (though I do end up getting fucked and seeded by the majority of black men that I connect with online
That’s the difference between a vanilla lifestyler and a QOS.
Have never, not once, hooked up with anyone I met online. Every single one has been someone I met organically through everyday life. It’s always been through work or at the gym. I’ve only had two somewhat random hookups and even both of those were men I met at hotel bars while away from home for work. Except for those two encounters, all were men I developed some sort of relationship with before things became sexual. Now, after almost 15 years, I find it pretty easy to make it happen if I find someone I’m attracted to. Advice for men….be yourself, just be nice, be confident but not arrogant, be personable and not a jerk, initiate a conversation but don’t come in too strong at first. If you do these things women will give you the signals as to whether or not they are open to exploring more.
Good to hear for you. Many women here in this area are not online and yes meeting them organically works well
Preach.Fam! That’s the story up here in New England area. Hubby or wifey usually do the vet but seems like after the vet, They flake because they are fake or just may not be interested. That’s why you roll the dice and try. It’s the face to face visit I try and set up. Match the voice with a face and prove all is real. The rest will work itself and you’ll find the real queens of spadesthey’re out there
Never been to NOLA but I've heard that before. In fact, there's another thread on here where someone said the same thing about NOLA.
Fortunately, most places are not like NOLA. B2W has gone beyond trendy. It's pretty much the norm now. I posted earlier that I think over 50% of white women will date/sleep with a Black Man. The interest is growing and it's becoming more acceptable in mainstream society. I stand by that.
No. There is nothing normal about how men act on this site
robandkate
Male
My wife has had sex with a lot of black men but we did not meet them online. In the time before Covid we met guys at bars or on vacations.
It is not the norm at all. This is a deviant lifestyle. And before you get all worked up….”deviant” doesn’t necessarily mean negative. It simply means that it deviates from the norm. In the US around 20% of marriages are interracial, and that means all races. Black/Whites is around 7%, so just by those numbers alone one can use common sense that Thor number of people just “hooking up” is even less. Enjoy the lifestyle, or the fantasy, or whatever it is for you, but don’t make like it’s something it’s not. Speaking as a married mom from the suburbs….hardly anyone is living this lifestyle.
Exactly
Here in this area there are very few married white women getting fucked by black men. The few I fuck are very discrete about it being military spouses and shyte. Many of the women I fuck are from out of town visiting the area. The single women are getting their share of dick though
I very seldom meet anyone from online contacts. When I do I usually only meet and someplace, like Caliente. I'm already there and don't have to go out of my way. I made an exception on Friday and agreed to meet a single black guy. I got dressed up sexy and we went out to dinner. We texted him when we got to the restaurant to confirm where were going to meet. I heard nothing back from him. That's pretty much normal for online contacts. We are going to Australia in couple weeks. I've been corresponding with a couple who will be on the same lifestyle cruise in Australia. She had the same thing happen with a couple who contacted her 2 hours before they were going to meet with some kind of excuse. This isn't just a problem in the US.
I think what happens is that on the internet you can be anyone. People commit to things online. It's a huge turn on when talking about fantasies with strangers. Unfortunately, things change for some when it becomes reality. It could be they are married or who knows what. They are too embarrassed to do the right thing and cancel so they become a ghost. I've always preferred meeting in person. For that reason, I've spent many nights at swing clubs over the years. Swing clubs are hit and miss. Some clubs are great for your particular fetish, and some aren't. In any case the advantage to meeting at a swing club, swing convention, or swingers' resort is that everyone is there for the same purpose. It also means you have the courage to walk through the front door. If you do connect with someone there is a place to play. In my experience if you don't play when you meet the first time, it's unlikely to happen in the future.
I've decided that I'm only meeting others at someplace where I'm already going to be.
I think what happens is that on the internet you can be anyone. People commit to things online. It's a huge turn on when talking about fantasies with strangers. Unfortunately, things change for some when it becomes reality. It could be they are married or who knows what. They are too embarrassed to do the right thing and cancel so they become a ghost. I've always preferred meeting in person. For that reason, I've spent many nights at swing clubs over the years. Swing clubs are hit and miss. Some clubs are great for your particular fetish, and some aren't. In any case the advantage to meeting at a swing club, swing convention, or swingers' resort is that everyone is there for the same purpose. It also means you have the courage to walk through the front door. If you do connect with someone there is a place to play. In my experience if you don't play when you meet the first time, it's unlikely to happen in the future.
I've decided that I'm only meeting others at someplace where I'm already going to be.
franklyn17
Male
You speak the truth
