I say I’m bi to limit confusing but I’m more heteroflexible as my attraction to men is purely sexual.
I haven't been on the site for a while, just checking in. Like all of this, the feelings or desires for BBC and cuckolding are a thing that kind of comes and goes for me. I would say this: I knew, even as a kid exploring my own body and sensual feelings, that my ass was an erogenous zone. I also knew that I really felt nothing looking at guys, but women, well, I really couldn't control myself. Thirsty. I did fool around with other guys starting as a tween, but they really didn't turn me on - in fact, it kind of turned me off, but just felt weird, not gross or awful. That fooling around almost all involved getting some porn with women in it, getting aroused and maybe at most helping each other with a hand job. There were two guys who - in hindsight - were definitely gay or bi, and I fooled around with them some, though I'm not entirely sure they particularly enjoyed it, mostly because I was obsessed with bringing something female into it. And then at 14, I started getting laid by women, and I really didn't think about it again.
I've posted elsewhere here about how I came more and more into this, but my attraction to the lifestyle is first and foremost about unbridled female pleasure, and seeing that. Of course there's the "taboo" which is the racial part of "BBC" and size, sexual prowess, etc....all massive stereotypes. I mean, there are giant BBCs out there and some giant BWCs too, and men of all complexions and all different sizes, but of course, there's the taboo of a white woman submitting to a black man. I love that we can take that, eroticize it and turn it from something ugly into something hot. However, for me, it's ultimately about the same thing that also drew me to BDSM (topping women) - another kink I discovered really early on through porn - and that is about women completely submitting to the taboo desire of completely giving in to animalistic desire and sex. I'm sure that's because women aren't supposed to be horndogs and consumed with sexual desire the way men are. For me, a woman getting fucked by a cock - by wanting and submitting to a huge cock, and a cock that's a "no no" is just too powerful, and that's what brought me here.
Going back to that earlier bit about fooling around with other guys - I had a tie in, which was that to find it exciting, I had to picture myself in the role of the girl - so there was a girl in the scene. That was pretty tame, in that it was just giving the other guy some oral. I fucked the guy who later came out as gay, but that was only by closing my eyes and imagining I was fucking the hot girl from the Penthouse I'd been looking at just before. I really had to block out the image of the guy.
So, obviously, I was a bit of a libertine: so horny, I'd fuck anything. And I was willing (not too grossed out) to have sex with another guy...I'm open-minded.
Much later on, I had a female partner (who I was domming in a BDSM relationship) introduce me to the real pleasures of the prostate, something I was open to because I already knew it felt good to have my ass played with. And down the slippery slope I went. At the time, I was mostly fantasizing about sharing her and gangbanging her, and all of those "straight" scenes, which also happened to include other cocks too. But pleasure is pleasure, and once you have a big (even fake) cock up your ass and you find it feels good, and you have an explosive orgasm...well, you're changed. You can't un-ring a bell. A lot of guys into pegging, prostate massagers, etc., go to great lengths to be in denial about "that dildo's not a cock" and "it's sex with a woman, there's nothing gay about it". I dunno, for me, it was a lot easier to get over it and just accept, hey, turns out I really enjoy getting fucked by a big cock, so if some other people are hung up about who is doing the fucking and who is getting fucked (and that hangup is really all about insecurity, power and to some degree misogyny) and they want to label the guy taking it up the ass as gay, then I'm a happy faggot sometimes. It wasn't hard to say to her "gee, I see why you love getting fucked so much" and when she said "you know, you would really love the real thing even more" it was also easy to say, yeah, I think so. For me, the physical feelings were good. We tried incorporating gay porn into our play, and it just didn't do very much, but when I flipped into the mental framework of getting to experience it as a woman, then it was super-hot. So, Ok, I'm a sissy too. I don't walk with a sashay, talk with a lisp, and no matter how hard I've tried, I just can't remember to consistently check out packages...broad shoulders do nothing for me. But it's awesome to switch it up, fun to dress and service cock. Now, I'm comfortable with saying I'm bi.
So, to answer your question: I guess I'm really bi-
sexual, but not gay and I've never felt more than friendship with any of the guys I've been fucked by. I think the things about me that make it possible for me to be that way - being open-minded, being physically wired for the pleasure (and I have been fucked by several 'total top' definitely gay, totally out guys who tried and absolutely hated bottoming) - were always a part of me. And all of that happened long before I found out about the "lifestyle" (although I remember even today how cranked up I got at age nine thinking about the mom of a friend of mine who was dating a black man - so even that part of the taboo was already there for me, even though I wasn't picturing BBC).
I know that it's impossible to completely separate out the shame and humiliation without losing the excitement and thrill of the taboo - at it's root, I think the whole BBC lifestyle, the size tropes, the emasculation and sissification stuff, is really all about that feeling of wrongness. I know that was the huge key to topping so many sub women (and probably for so many BBC Queens here): it was taking away their agency and power to say no, so they could be free of the guilt they felt about being used as objectified sex toys, even though they desperately wanted to be used.
I would never want to be in a relationship with a woman who didn't respect me - a relationship where we didn't have mutual respect as equal partners. Play time is one thing, and it would be fabulous to find a woman with compatible play desires, but after we were done, I would want to be back to being our regular old equal selves. Most of the people I knew in the BDSM scene IRL (and I don't know anybody in the BBC lifestyle
that I know of) also had some poorly-adjusted hangups - that's where the kink came from. I know a couple with a black husband from Kenya (former professional soccer player - fits all the tropes) and a white wife, and they seem about as vanilla as it comes, and are extremely well-adjusted (which, given the racism, they need to be to cope). I have always found it really hard to find people who were capable of that balance between the kinky for play (and enjoyed taking control of and playing with the hangups), and being able to operate as a well-adjusted happy person outside of that. I know they're out there, and I'm not throwing any shade at anybody on here, but it's damn hard to find. I'm quite happy as a man, I've got better than average equipment, know how to use it, and have no desire to become a woman or live a fantasy 24/7. I know I'm hetero - the sissy stuff is great fun, I love fucking myself with a dildo (or a gay FWB), and I'm sure a cage would be a fun addition if I met a woman who wanted to add that to the scene. I'd be extremely happy to share guys with a woman, and would immensely share in her pleasure at getting railed, and also get railed too, but at the end of the day, I'd want to go home and have a life that didn't revolve around the fantasy. In real life, I think it's very hard for the majority of women to regain the mental image of their male partner as dominant and powerfully masculine when he gets off on them getting fucked by other guys, never mind when he's flipping it and being gender-stereo-typical feminine.
Zero - none - nada - of the real-life gay guys I know, FWBs, BBC on the DL, just general friends - have ANY of these BBC-owned-white-women fantasies, or fantasies of having a woman anywhere around or involved. A couple of the black top guys (bi and gay) liked the idea of a big black dude fucking a submissive white guy (and were OK with panties), but even then, most of them really didn't like the feminine part of it - they wanted to be fucking (or getting fucked by) a DUDE...a hairy dude. I think this whole scene - those of us guys who are into having our female partner get fucked by another guy, and/or being feminized too - is entirely a kink of straight guys.
Anyway, my hats off to all the couples on here who are doing this and having fun and can maintain a mutually respectful relationship. I'm deeply envious. The women on here who are confident enough to really dive into this are one-in-a-million and the guys who found them (and I think there are way more of us white guys with this kink than black men or white women!) are incredibly lucky.
actually find men attractive? Out of curiosity, because I’m bi & I have been since way before I even found interested in this lifestyle... I just feel like so many of you, are intrigued by the lifestyle & love the IR porn so much that you claim to be bi/gay but actually aren’t!
