Well ... I'd say it was hypocrisy if we said one thing and did another, so arguably there is an element of that. But mostly it's simply a matter of choosing to indulge our darker appetites behind closed doors while maintaining outward appearances. Rather than hypocrisy I'd call it good old common sense.
We all belong to a "tribe" of sorts. Our tribe, professional white folk, simply wouldn't understand and quite likely would shun us if they knew. As I'm writing this I'm also realizing that part of the thrill for us is doing something that is sooooo sharply in violation of our tribe's rules and getting away with it.
You see ... we all have something our reasons: The successful but bored white guy seeing his wife lusting after what he can't provide ... the white wife fulfilling her whore fantasy ... and the BBC'd guy gaining the most intimate form of domination as she spreads her smooth white thighs and he plants his seed deeper than inches can measure ... deep into the psyche of all the players.
Hypocrisy ... or is it primal lust, the evolutionary drive to plant your seed in another's nest and erotic taboo all playing out on a racially charged landscape ... ??