Cuckold or hotwife?
- Thread starter cutnclean
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Another term (what we use) is Stag/Vixen. From what we have gathered, the term is like a cuckold/hotwife situation, but the 'Stag' isn't humiliated. They are in this together. He supports her fun but usually doesn't participate - simply watches. Primarily about her, but he enjoys watching as well.
re: Cuckold or hotwife?
Although it seems cuckold has become less gender specific these days, normally a male married spouse or a unmarried male in a supposedly monogamous relationship with a female is considered the cuckold if the female in the relationship is having sex with other men.
Note that a male cuckold may or may not be aware of his female partner's activities, or whether the male lovers are black or white, is purely coincidental to the terminology. Also, the cuckold normally remains monogamous in the relationship.
An old term used for married men who encourage their wives to have sex with other men is called a wittol.
A hot wife is simply a married woman who is having regular sex with other men.
Although it seems cuckold has become less gender specific these days, normally a male married spouse or a unmarried male in a supposedly monogamous relationship with a female is considered the cuckold if the female in the relationship is having sex with other men.
Note that a male cuckold may or may not be aware of his female partner's activities, or whether the male lovers are black or white, is purely coincidental to the terminology. Also, the cuckold normally remains monogamous in the relationship.
An old term used for married men who encourage their wives to have sex with other men is called a wittol.
A hot wife is simply a married woman who is having regular sex with other men.
Sounds like you are a Hot wife or Stag & Vixen couple. Enjoy what ever aspects of the lifestyle that turn you on! You write the rules for your life! But using commonly accepted terms will help you find compatible partners.
Warning part of an ongoing discussion between MacNfries and myself
@MacNfries is correct in his description of the classic usage of the word cuckold and this remains Webster's definition. English, however, is an evolving language and at least in the fetish world, that include this website and Fetlife.com, the majority have come to accept that we need to differentiate between different aspects of this lifestyle and for better or worse have refined the word cuckold in the process.
As evidence BlacktoWhite.net now has two separate forums Cuckold and Hotwife and the staff, @DaphneD, has posted a sticky tread in the General forum asking that specific Cuckolding discussion be restricted to the cuckolding forum.
I'm the first to admit that we don't has a definitive authority for kinky definitions - and people are free to pick the label they like.
But I believe the majority of people on this website would now associate Cuckolding with some form of power exchange toward the woman often but not always with some form of ****** clean-up, male chastity/organism denial, humiliation, ****** bisexuality (note this now has its own forum, and if you put all these together your are your probably in the Extreme - Alternative forum. The classic use of the word was always a put down to the man-making it appropriate the current usage with a power exchange away from the man. Likewise, Hot wife is associated by most in the lifestyle as a sexually promiscuous wife who without a power exchange toward the woman. Sometime there is a power exchange toward the husband who shares his submissive wife and sometimes not and some of the aspect of cuckolding may be. The terms Stag and Vixen seam to be catching on for a Hot wife without the power exchange or humiliation - but I'm not sure there is as much consensus of the details.
There is a vein diagram somewhere on tries to deferential Cuckolding, Hot-wifing and Stag & Vixen as three distance relationships and it shows what is comment and unique to each. I'll look for it - even though I'm not sure it represents the majoity of opinions.
I agree with @Idowives0763 "I won't say that the labels matter in the grand scheme of things but they do matter to a certain extent and here is why. They matter in the sense of what you're looking to get out of the experience. They matter when selecting the right Bull for your particular situation. If you're a couple who enjoys the type of play typically associated with the cuckold lifestyle then ideally you would seek out a Bull who is not only familiar with cuckolding but comfortable with it as well. Conversely, if you are a hotwife couple, then you would want a Bull who is well versed in that lifestyle. What I always say....there is a big difference between a Bull and a guy who just wants to fuck your wife. "
Examples
https://www.blacktowhite.net/threads/why-has-the-word-cuckold-changed-so-much.137984/#post-2032507
https://www.blacktowhite.net/threads/hotwife-may-describe-some-of-us-better.125418/
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Good response, Quixote. I personally don't care what one's understanding of a word is, but when trying to communicate about a topic, it makes sense that everyone have a somewhat understanding of what each important word in the (subject or topic) means. For example, if we were taking a English to Spanish language course, and the words we were being taught to say were different than what the actual word meant in Spanish, we might have just saved our time trying to learn Spanish, as no one speaking Spanish would understand what we were saying anyway.
I guess the important thing to remember is that normally a cuckold is referring to a male and the hotwife, obviously, is referring to a married female. They aren't interchangeable words. I do know, that in the past 6-8 years women, like Sandra Bullock, who's husband was cheating on her, referred to herself as a cuckold ... so, as you mention, the word cuckold is continuing to evolve some.
Terms for people involved in open and semi-open relationships
Cuckold - the male in a cuckolding relationship (very well accepted term in kink community)
Cuckoldress - the female in a cuckolding relationship (very well accepted term in kink community)
Cuckqueen - a woman in a reverse "cuckolding" relationship where the man sleeps with others (less well accepted)
Hot wife - a woman who sleeps with other men normally without the power exchange of the cuckoldress (fairly well accepted) sometimes used generally to include a cuckoldress
Stag - male partner of the vixen, shares his wife willingly without submission of humiliation - could be bi or could enjoy cleanup (more recent term that is catching on but may lack widespread consensus) Note: horns of the stag are a traditional symbol of the cuckold.
Vixen - female partner of the stag - a woman who sleeps with other men without her male partner being a submissive / cuckold. (again a more recent term still finding full acceptance)
Power exchange discussed above is between the husband and wife; a cuckoldress, hot wife, or vixen can all choose to be or not to be submissive toward a bull.
Swingers - most of the above relationships focus on a mostly half-open relationship while swinging is open for both partners. I'm less certain that this is true for Stags and Vixens as it is a more recent term.
Cuckold - the male in a cuckolding relationship (very well accepted term in kink community)
Cuckoldress - the female in a cuckolding relationship (very well accepted term in kink community)
Cuckqueen - a woman in a reverse "cuckolding" relationship where the man sleeps with others (less well accepted)
Hot wife - a woman who sleeps with other men normally without the power exchange of the cuckoldress (fairly well accepted) sometimes used generally to include a cuckoldress
Stag - male partner of the vixen, shares his wife willingly without submission of humiliation - could be bi or could enjoy cleanup (more recent term that is catching on but may lack widespread consensus) Note: horns of the stag are a traditional symbol of the cuckold.
Vixen - female partner of the stag - a woman who sleeps with other men without her male partner being a submissive / cuckold. (again a more recent term still finding full acceptance)
Power exchange discussed above is between the husband and wife; a cuckoldress, hot wife, or vixen can all choose to be or not to be submissive toward a bull.
Swingers - most of the above relationships focus on a mostly half-open relationship while swinging is open for both partners. I'm less certain that this is true for Stags and Vixens as it is a more recent term.
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Tweener. Depends on the bull. I am all sub and a dom bull can bring that out in my husband too.
You have really amazing posts and pictures, WOW!!! Your husband is a lucky man. I am curious, do you enjoy seeing a black man dominating your husband? If so, what has been your favorite experience with this?
