I tried to get a source for the statement "trust me I know" is all I could get.
Can a cuck or open marriage really work?
- Thread starter Blkdreams88
- Start date
I don’t know why I bother with this place. Too many white guys jerking off to have any common sense, respect for experience, or for a woman’s perspective. Congratulations on assisting in the decline of this site. @MagicMikeATX and other real lifestylers like him are right - There’s no reason to contribute to the unverified forums. Have fun jerking each other off.
I actually like your contributions. I can respect a woman's point of view especially because you are a straight shooter. I may not agree with all of your viewpoints, but just the same, I like to hear what you have to say.
I'm quoting the OP though a number of others have touched on aspects I will comment on. OP has had this thought for about 10 years and his wife's reasons to hesitate are given....my 1st question is how has HIS continued thoughts on it affected both the marriage and seperately their sex life. Your wish to "grant her freedom" is disturbing in you really can't possess responsibility for her sexual happiness-you are a part of it, but it is solely HER responsibility just as she is part of yours but YOU are responsible for your own.
I don't think it is so much later entry as it is what goes unsaid. The ONE common thread among those who partake in this and maintain a healthy prime relationship is the higher level of open, honest communication. Do you know what aspects or acts you would not be able to tolerate, or which would be neccessary for her? You'd be surprised the couples who are okay with sex but kissing is a deal breaker.
I'm a widower and my wife and I were swingers for nearly ten years before she passed. I freely admit while not overall, there were on both sides individuals who brought uncomfortable feelings for one of us, and they surfaced as 'jealousy (the term is oversimplistic). It's a subject better discussed beforehand. This will be more likely before 'catching feelings'. On that note, I rarely hear anyone define what they mean by 'love'. Let me propose this definition: the physiological state where one's well-being is directly proportional to the well-being of another. This definition does not mandate you can only love one or that there is a specified degree to it. Under this definition I have had feelings for a number of wives; for me it extended to their marriages, husbands and families. I rarely get involved without the spouse's knowledge and am clear I will disengage if the marriage falters and/or breaks. I aspire to be an enhancement, not a detriment.
One last observation. I do see too many husbands who seem to me want to dissolve themselves from ANY responsibility for her sexual pleasure. I don't take back what I said about it being her responsibility but I don't forget you vowed to take care of it. Whether you see it as "granting her the freedom" or it's actually "woman, you're just too hot for me" you owe it to yourself and to her to say it truthfully, lovingly and fully honestly- it's the only way you'll ever find a way to make it better.
stubbyhubby
Male
Survive? Cuckolding saved our marriage. Four months into our marriage we were in the verge of divorce because she was unhappy in bed. She said she loved me but couldn't stand the thought of never enjoying sex. I suggested she fuck my best friend. Of course she said no. I pointed out that she was going to eventually fuck someone anyway, so why not try it before divorce. She agreed with my reasoning and did it and loved it. 31 years later we are going strong.
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And it's the fact this site doesn't provide a way to delete your account
IMWFcuckold
Male
No it doesn't
LoveFsBlacked
Male
My one and only cuckold marriage failed. But in my opinion, it didn't fail because of our "lifestyle". I think that side of our relationship was great for both of us. That's my data - sorry! Next to nothing.
There is the fear of her totally falling for a guy. In my case, it didn't happen while we were together. But then, after we had broken up (but still sharing intimate details), she feel really hard for an African guy with a massive cock. I must admit, I felt pangs of jealousy, even though she was my ex. I guess, once she met him, she was REALLY my ex, and all hope was lost. Perhaps, before that, I had a hope we'd get back together.
There is the fear of her totally falling for a guy. In my case, it didn't happen while we were together. But then, after we had broken up (but still sharing intimate details), she feel really hard for an African guy with a massive cock. I must admit, I felt pangs of jealousy, even though she was my ex. I guess, once she met him, she was REALLY my ex, and all hope was lost. Perhaps, before that, I had a hope we'd get back together.
A cuckold marriage, .... yes.
An open marriage ..... yes, in the short run. But in the long run, after years of her fucking others, him fucking others, the "novelty" (if I can call it that) wears off. The wife continues spreading her legs, getting her tits kissed and fondled, pussy eaten, while the husband starts to lose the ability to get it hard enough to count.
That's where problems may arise. He stays home watching tv, she is out fucking her brains out. A gulf starts to appear.
I urge you to go for the cuck marriage. The husband can always be kept in the loop.
An open marriage ..... yes, in the short run. But in the long run, after years of her fucking others, him fucking others, the "novelty" (if I can call it that) wears off. The wife continues spreading her legs, getting her tits kissed and fondled, pussy eaten, while the husband starts to lose the ability to get it hard enough to count.
That's where problems may arise. He stays home watching tv, she is out fucking her brains out. A gulf starts to appear.
I urge you to go for the cuck marriage. The husband can always be kept in the loop.
No doubt about it it is a very complicated Lifestyle . Also it is not for everyone . The Woman needs to be able to separate love and sex . The key is to communicate and to think in terms of Reality not Fantasy . Us men get wrapped up in Fantasy and Fantasy is Quick. Reality is Slow . What I mean is when you want something so bad it gets in your head as if you want everything perfect all at once. On the way to our first session with a man and after I waited all my life for the experience my Lady said the smartest thing . She said do not get expectations too high . She was so right . The session wasn't that great and the Guy was not a Bull at all . That was fine because I tell people all the time we needed the experience under our belts. After that the next experience was better but we were puzzled how the guy left so quickly afterward ? The next session with same Bull was better and the next with another even better as we go to know each other and explore more and more . There are so many parameters to get straight with your lady and then with whomever is the Bull . A Real Bull which are few and far between will understand that your relationship is first and will work around and with you and your rules . We live in NY and want so bad to get a group of cuck couples to friend for support and friendship . We know that there are so many real life issues to get around in order to play if you want to be discreet . Home , Family , Job etc..