Yeah, I think that words only have as much power as you allow them to have over you. Intelligent people of proper self-control cannot be triggered simply by a word or phrase. Back when I was a k!d, the other k!ds who wanted to fight would always resort to the phrase, "Oh, yeah?!? Your M0THER!!!" That usually achieved the desired result, simply some vague demonstration of disrespect to a loved one that really held no significant meaning. But suddenly, fists were flying. I just thought it was so stupid. I never responded to such simple-minded challenges, and it frustrated them even further to see they had no power over me. They didn't know my m0ther. They knew nothing about her honor, so I saw no need to defend it. I control how I respond. No one else.
And it's the same with the word "Nig.ger."
I can say it. I'm not afraid of it. I am secure in the man that I am, and one little six-letter word can't undo that, and suddenly transform me into a raging idiot. As for the racists who wield that word like some effective weapon, don't let it be an effective weapon for them. Do you know the etymology of the term, its original, harmless meaning? It simply meant "black." That's all. It only evolved over time into something contemptuous, a word to describe a race as "lesser," as "beasts." And losing one's mind and all control at the use of it only lowers a black man to that level, the lesser-level beast. And that's how they beat you every single time.
Words only have the power which you assign to them.
