Anyone whos had an experience where your wife didnt enjoy bnc?

[Travis454]

My wife has finally agreed to meeting up with the guy she's been fantasizing about for a while now. She's worried that she'll feel disgusted with herself afterwards for having sex outside of her marriage. Anyone have similar problems, how did it play out? Just FYI she loves the thought of it and gets off on a bbc dildo so the issue isn't wanting to...

 

[mywayintermsofsex]

The issue is it might be conflicting with her morals. That's a mental issue on her part which ImO can only be tackled with a lot of explaining and comforting done by the husband. It is your responsibility to make her feel well no matter if she will go for it or back out.

First of all i don't think it is appropriate to call it "sex outside her marriage" because it is something both of you wish to do or at least to try. It means it has been discussed and agreed upon inside your marriage and will extend your marriage and not attack or disparage it. Convincing her of that may help.

i was in a "wifesharing" lifestyle before and our definition of sharing her was quite different. At first she had been worried because of the same reasons you describe but after considering our new lifestyle part of our relationship she was put at ease.

We always considered the following terms...
marital sex = sex with ones marital partner
intramarital sex = sex with anybody who is not ones marital partner but with the partner's consent and approval = sex inside the marriage
extramarital sex = sex outside the marriage = cheating

The point is: If a shared sexual lifestyle is or becomes part of your marriage it can never be cheating! - Make her understand (and feel!) this simple fact.

 

[Travis454]

The issue is it might be conflicting with her morals. That's a mental issue on her part which ImO can only be tackled with a lot of explaining and comforting done by the husband. It is your responsibility to make her feel well no matter if she will go for it or back out.

First of all i don't think it is appropriate to call it "sex outside her marriage" because it is something both of you wish to do or at least to try. It means it has been discussed and agreed upon inside your marriage and will extend your marriage and not attack or disparage it. Convincing her of that may help.

i was in a "wifesharing" lifestyle before and our definition of sharing her was quite different. At first she had been worried because of the same reasons you describe but after considering our new lifestyle part of our relationship she was put at ease.

We always considered the following terms...
marital sex = sex with ones marital partner
intramarital sex = sex with anybody who is not ones marital partner but with the partner's consent and approval = sex inside the marriage
extramarital sex = sex outside the marriage = cheating

The point is: If a shared sexual lifestyle is or becomes part of your marriage it can never be cheating! - Make her understand (and feel!) this simple fact.

So I guess the question would then be do I let her go through with it knowing she has those reservations? We both want it to happen but still feels like she's agreed more for me than for both of us equally even though she said its for both. I misspoke about being outside of the marriage, we both agree that its not cheating but she still feels like the traditional rules of what marriage is supposed to be holds her back. I've explained that way of thinking is going extinct and we should do what makes us happy but she still feels like she'll be disgusted with herself. She also knows that she'll like it at the same time. I guess my biggest concern is I dont want my wife to have any regret about going through with it, thats why I ask if anyone who was nervous or unsure the first time could give me some direction or input...