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This is weird for me but I thought after a recent experience I needed to get some insightful opinions to see what's up with this situation I've found myself in.

My dad was Afro-Carribean and my mom is Italian and French and at first I was only interested in black women, but maybe because I was raised by my mom and with her family so I didn't associate sex with skin color? I noticed as I got older that black women had more attitude toward me but white folks have always seemed either indifferent or really excited about me. I dated a white girl who was overwhelming honestly, and her family was real cool but I broke it off because she wanted to have a kid with me. And she just put it like that, didn't say anything about marriage first. She's married now though and pregnant and apparently her family basically exiled her because her husband's black I guess, from what she said when we talked on Facebook a bit earlier this year.

Anyway my white friends are always trying to act black with me, one of whom I've known for ten years now (I was born early November in 1984). I honestly don't even have many good black friends from college. And older white guys are always impressed when they find out I have a BA in English minor in Creative Writing. I listen to all sorts of music, watch all sorts of movies, read all sorts of books but people still say I act distinctly black and I generally do prefer the company of white or Asian people for some reason. Being around black people I sometimes get insecure unless they're just downright hood and don't give a **** about anything but booty and money. But being around educated and more uppity folks who only identify as "African-Americans," and won't even dare say they are "black," always gets me acknowledged as "bi-racial," but with my white friends and family they always regard me as black. So you see, its like no one really knows how to view me. A couple I met and got involved with calls me their dirty blonde lol (the guy is bi and I let them both give me head, just putting it out there I'm kind of bi).

Now here's where my situation gets specific: I've been attracted to white women more and more lately. And I found that couple slightly younger than me online (I'm not into women who have children already, not sexually, not to sound harsh). And the girl in this couple is texting me all the time and said her bf was okay with her meeting me alone, which threw me off because I honestly just did it for the sex since they were both attractive and the whole idea of nutting in some other dude's pussy is good for the nerves. But I'm wondering if she's into me as a person or if she is just seeing some fantasy. I'm trying to talk to this Japanese girl who I think is amazing. Plus I was already in their orgy once already, there was six dudes and one was about ten inches (I'm eight but real thick lol). They all barebacked and didn't pull out so I wore a condom because I'm not trying to have six dick fulls of jizz on me I'm real particular about what I do with dudes. So anyway that alone made me not really see her in any affectionate way. I just see her as lusty and fun. But she said she'd give all that up for me and sent this really intense text that was split into four different messages about how I was perfect for her. When a girl comes at you this hard its something to pause for and think about. But I also think about what if its more to do with my ethnicity than my actual self, you get me? And I don't know if I can deal with knowing she deep down prefers orgies, but I think I'm the only one they've done privately.

What do you think? Should I stay away from her? Is she only wanting me because I'm mixed? Is she even supposed to want a mixed guy, lol? I don't know, its weird, its a serious issue, a little autobiographical for a first post but that's really the main reason I came here to see if anyone can contribute some thoughts on my situation please? But maybe I'll make some friends here I don't know. It may seem a weird place to look for racial wisdom but I don't personally know anyone else who has a black parent and a white parent and usually I don't see many others either.

My name is David, nice to meet you.