Some of us share your situation where the "touch" of her lovers cock is enough to give her orgasms and later when its all over , she is just to relaxed and happy . We find ourselves unable to deny her this pleasure .Thanks for your well written posting. I do however not agree.
You write: "First and foremost, the very act of cuckold is a way of saying the husband/boyfriend is not good enough to satisfy his wife and someone else needs to be brought in to do the job which is an attack on one of the pillars of our psychology - our self image. This is just the start of the assault on the self image as the cuckold husband is routinely criticized and demeaned by his wife and her bull."
It's just a fact that I am not able to satisfy my wife in the way that her much more well endowed black lover is. She has a LOT more orgasms with him than with me. She orgasms many times each time he visits us. She loves it and so do I. I find it would not be fair denying the person that I love the opportunity of getting deeply fulfilling sex.
It is by no means an attack on my self-esteem. On the contrary, my life has never felt better than now.
Our marriage has never been better.
Being cuckolded is satisfying in a way you could never imagine. In my opinion it's not at all self destructive. It's just a very fulfilling lifestyle. And if a cuckold couple gets a biracial baby this just adds something more to their unique and very loving relationship.