I'm white, but in my teens we lived in a mostly Latino and black neighborhood. My interest in black guys started in my early teens. When I realized how small I was going to be (under 4 inches), I think it was natural for me to be fascinated by glimpses of much bigger black guys in our school's locker room. I also marveled at how easily these hung black guys could talk their way into girls' panties. Even white girls, who mostly lived in an upscale neighborhood across the river, would drive into our rougher part of town to hook up with black guys. I went to a mostly white/Asian University, but the early Internet was taking off and I discovered interracial porn on usenet. I gravitated to images of white girls worshiping and fucking BBC. Eventually I would spend time in the "black cocks" room, as well. I don't remember how I transitioned to looking at images that didn't even have a girl in them, but my dick approved and stayed hard.
So for years I masturbated to both straight and (essentially) gay images (many only showed cock, but plenty showed an entire man). I think this was slowly conditioning me to see large cocks as a source of pleasure, but I still considered myself to be completely straight and I got married in the early 2000s. (I didn't tell my wife about my cock curiosity.) Then in 2008 I discovered tumblr and the way it connected interracial material with so many other fetishes, such as sissies, ****** bi, black superiority, cuckolding, hot wives, etc. Finding so many people turned on by submitting to black cock was a revelation for me. They weren't just voyeurs on the sidelines, they were actively giving themselves over to BBC worship. So many small white guys just like me were posting stories and images and captions that demonstrated their devotion to black men. From then on my fantasy life changed. I only watched interracial porn and I would jack off imagining it was me or my wife serving powerful black guys. I made new online friends with cucks and sissies that encouraged my most submissive fantasies.
By the early teens I was so far down the rabbit hole that my wife knew something was wrong. Though I tried not to reveal my most depraved thoughts, she got me to admit more and more until it just poured out of me. I expected her to leave me, but she tried to be understanding. I showed her my video playlists and favorite blogs on tumblr. She made excuses for me, like "I have read that lots of straight men have some same-sex fantasies or experience" or "it's pretty common for people with a lot of responsibilities to have urges to give into somebody else for a change." I tremendously appreciated that she was so open-minded, but I was nervous as she tried to include this kinky porn. I couldn't help noticing her response to some of these video. she couldn't stop commenting on the size of black men, and speculating what the women they fucked must be feeling. though she was shocked the first time she saw a cuckold video, she quickly got used to them so that she didn't just masturbate to black men fucking tight white pussies. She kept right on playing with herself when the white husband or boyfriend would clean up her cream pie or fluff a BBC until it got hard again.
I wasn't surprised when she started to flirt back with black guys that hit on her. Even when it was so blatant and out in the open that I felt publicly humiliated, I couldn't ask her to stop. Hadn't she excused my own misbehavior? Besides, didn't I get erections imagining her going beyond simple flirting with them? I wasn't surprised when she started including her own interracial fantasies into our sex life. While I sucked her pussy she would talk about wanting to try a big dick at least once (she was a virgin when we started dating), about how the sexual confidence and assertiveness of black men made her wet, and, eventually, how she wished this or that black acquaintance would realize how easily he could take her. I did nothing to stop the inevitable. I felt I was at fault for her fantasies and they obviously turned me on. she might even have thought that I was encouraging her.
One night, almost a year since confessing my fantasies to her, my wife came home from one of her occasional girls night out. Something was different. She wasn't just a little tipsy or little sweaty from dancing. She was disheveled--her clothes wrinkled, and her careful hairdo was now a mess. She climbed on top of me and we started making out. She tasted like whiskey and cigarettes. Then she lifted her skirt and straddled my face, silently demanding oral sex. Her panties were nowhere to be seen and as soon as my lips found hers, I noticed a difference. She was looser and wetter than usual. I stuck my tongue in as far as it can go and there was no resistance. In a slurred and teasing voice she said, "I know what you're looking for, but he wore a condom." She started giggling and didn't stop until my tongue touched her exposed clitty. She moaned and started shaking like she does during an orgasm. I was stunned. She is never so responsive so quickly. When her body calmed down she started humping my face. "More, baby, more. Next time I'll bring you what you need. You'll never stop sucking me, will you?" Eventually she conked out, and I sat in the dark, stroking my hard dick, certain she had let another man fuck her. Even after I came, I couldn't really fall asleep.
In the morning she acted like nothing had happened and I was too scared what might happen if I confronted her. A couple months passed and she went on another girls night out. Just before midnight some selfies uploaded onto our shared. She was posing and dancing with a thirty-something black guy that looked familiar. He was a contractor that had installed our sprinkler system a few years earlier. They were all over each other. She didn't come home until three in the morning and again she ended up demanding oral sex. even though I was expecting it, the amount of cum that poured out of her was far more than I was used to (eating my own cream pies to get her off was a regular part of our sex lives since my small dick rarely made her cum). I have no doubt that I was now cuckold.
So, all of those years since I watched jealously as black guys strutted around my old neighborhood with their girls, my wife became one of their conquests and I her willing enabler. I am so far down the rabbit hole now I know I will never see the light of day again.
