Took an edible (15mg) and went to yoga last night with my wife, but left before class started because the high made things too slow too fast. I sat out in the open hall area trying to not spin out of control. Everything felt hyper - hyper slow yet hyper fast. Hyper awareness that flowed through my ears, body, etc. Everything felt like a rabbit hole and I had to keep pulling myself out.
I would see a good looking woman walk by, and I could feel the energy flow to my groin area, making everything tingle. I would do a kegle, which would intensify the feeling. I could feel my dick getting hard even though I was just sitting in a chair. I'd then start thinking about her being fucked by a big black dick, but then shift to thinking about how much I want to suck and fuck black cock. I kept thinking how badly I needed to orgasm because the pleasure sensations were so intense coupled with the thoughts of being submissive.
Because the trip was a bit overwhelming, to help, I wrote down my thoughts and experiences to help document and process. This morning when I went back to look at what I had written, I read, "I want to be a submissive faggot for big black dick. A Jack of Spades."
My wife and I are swingers, and she knows I love watching her fuck black guys. However, she's not aware of my bisexual/ gay side.
What to do from here?
I would see a good looking woman walk by, and I could feel the energy flow to my groin area, making everything tingle. I would do a kegle, which would intensify the feeling. I could feel my dick getting hard even though I was just sitting in a chair. I'd then start thinking about her being fucked by a big black dick, but then shift to thinking about how much I want to suck and fuck black cock. I kept thinking how badly I needed to orgasm because the pleasure sensations were so intense coupled with the thoughts of being submissive.
Because the trip was a bit overwhelming, to help, I wrote down my thoughts and experiences to help document and process. This morning when I went back to look at what I had written, I read, "I want to be a submissive faggot for big black dick. A Jack of Spades."
My wife and I are swingers, and she knows I love watching her fuck black guys. However, she's not aware of my bisexual/ gay side.
What to do from here?
