Absolutely not. It's rare that we meet black women in the lifestyle (and I can see why, the way they're often treated), but those we've met have been amazing Ladies. Terms I've used to address them include Ma'am, lovely Lady, Mistress or Goddess if it was appropriate given the situation, etc. I only have one Queen, so that term is reserved, but black women get the same respect I was taught to give all women.
There are bad apples everywhere, but rude and disrespectful people don't get far with the friends we've met, trust! And you don't last at the kind of events we look for, or on the kind of sites that actually lead to meeting others, if you're disrespectful to women. Overt racism doesn't fly, either.
We try to be sensitive to everyone's comfort regarding racial issues, but we understand why some people might feel objectified or used when there's a preconceived stereotype of racial roles. Nobody's perfect so I'm not going to claim it doesn't happen at times, but in our experience, blatant disregard for others isn't considered sexy by people who actually participate in this lifestyle. It's considered gross.
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