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What now?

Well, it finally happened. Now I'm not sure how to handle the fallout. Here's what happened:

As you may recall, I lost a good deal of weight recently and also found out that my husband has a thing for interracial porn. When I first found it in his internet browsing history, I was mad and I was jealous. I said nothing, and stewed and kept visiting the sites like an obsession. The more I thought about it though, the more I realized that I was not really jealous that the women in the videos and photos were getting his attention. To be sure, I was jealous of the women, but I was jealous of the attention they were getting from their co-stars. I decided that I wanted to do it. I wanted to be fucked by a black man.

I started here for some ideas on how to approach it with him without putting him off. I got some good ideas on this site, but ultimately decided that I couldn't bring it up with him without revealing I saw his internet history. I gave up making it really happen - I really did - even stopped coming to this site, leaving it to fantasy. Until we ended up at a neighbors house-warming party about two months ago.

Our new neighbors (about a block away) happen to be an interracial couple and friends of my husband's boss. It was a normal party, nothing got out of hand. On the way back home, fueled by a few drinks, my husband asked me if I ever thought about fucking a black man. Without hesitation, I said I would like to experience it. Then teased him that he wanted to see me do it. I don't know, but I suspect that he thought I was actually serious. The night went on, and I seized what I saw as an opportunity - I fired up a couple of my favorite videos to put us in the mood.

By that time, we both had more drinks and as the action on the screen went on, he asked me again if I wanted to do that, nodding to the screen. I immediately went to work on his pants - I figured that during a blow job is a good time to talk about it. We kept talking about it - I indicated that I may actually try to find a stud, by all appearances, he approved - talking about how it was one of his biggest fantasies, how it would be so hot, how he could never be mad at me for doing it, then he finished in my mouth. At that point, I was still leaning towards keeping it one of our unfulfilled fantasies.

Afterwards, however, he laughed, and said that I'd never really go through with it, that I don't have the balls. With that, something went off in me. How dare he laugh at me after I just did that for him? He changed my mind and with that I told him, "I'm going to find a stud this summer and I'm going to do it and you won't be laughing then. Seriously."

After that, we talked about it a lot more. He was still convinced I was not going to go through with it. With that confidence, he gave me his full approval to do it if I found someone. The only thing was that he had to be there. I agreed.

With all the hot weather, I finally had a reason to start wearing a lot less without my husband being too suspicious of my motives. I bought some nice cute shorts, a number of sexy tops, a couple of skirts, some comfortable heels, even a club dress, and my very first Brazilian wax (I can't believe I didn't do it sooner).

Long story, but husband ended up in the dog house with me, so as penance, I made him take me out dancing. I wore my favorite black heels and my club dress. I couldn't wear a bra with it, so my heart was racing as soon as we pulled out of the garage. I couldn't believe I was about to wear this in public, let alone try to prowl out a bull with my husband watching. I directed him to a club downtown that seemed to have a good number of black men.

The easy part was that I did not have to prowl anything. Within 10 minutes several black men had made direct eye contact with me. 10 more minutes and both me and husband had two rounds of drinks bought for us, and I had 2 invitations to dance - neither offer dark skinned though.

We danced together, and I danced with a couple a couple of girls. Then, I took my seat next to husband. I hadn't been seated for more than 30 seconds when He came up to us. He looked at me directly and said that He wanted to go move with me. I looked at husband and he laughed and nodded.

We danced, if you can call it that, for three songs. We were in the middled of the floor shielded from my husband by bodys. By the end of the second song, he pulled down my panties and pushed them down around my ankles. I left them for a moment, but quickly picked them up off the floor. I had no pockets, so I gave them to Him to hold on to. By the end of the third song, he had a finger inside me. I had to walk away at that point - it was going to fast - I felt drunk and high and out of control. Anyone could have looked over and seen what I was doing.

I drank another drink with husband, who was completely tanked at that point. We tried to dance too, but he was too wasted. I didn't see Him anywhere, a good starting point though. I went to the bathroom, and on the way back, He stopped my from behind, grabbing my arm. I turned around and kissed him deeply. He pulled me into the men's room and locked the door. It was obvious where things were going. I let it happen. I was so turned on and stupid I even let Him fuck me without a condom. Then he disappeared as quickly as he appeared.

I have been tested for STDs three times now, and thank God I'm clean. I will never let things get that out of hand again.

I didn't tell husband about it. I think he suspects something though. He should to be honest. I've changed. I have to be more careful, but I also have to have more. Now that I've had a taste, I need more and I don't know what to do. I think I'm just not going to tell him.

Any serious advice appreciated - a.k.a. I don't need any "I'll fuck you, baby" type comments.


Real Person
Gold Member
I totally agree, you don't need those type of comments!

Thank you for sharing your experience and from one human to another, I am proud of you for your courage and your journey of self-discovery! I envy the brother gentleman, I'm glad you are safe and I also envy the future brother gents with whom you select to pacify your "hunger" or "appetite".

You have "paid the cost", to "cross over" and this is PURELY for personal reasons. The nervousness, anxiety, jittery, high-intensity-heart-palpitating "hurdle" is complete. Now you will seldom look at another black man the way you did before watching the videos, or how or society stigmatizes us. You will see us as your genuine "mirror" to receive the type of real-time confirmation of just how beautiful you are to us, whether a stud, bull or stallion; your sexuality, sensuality and your intense physical animal will be re-affirmed with every encounter with a compatible brother you experience!

Touché Changes!

P.S. Tell hubby, (since he was inebriated during your "maiden voyage").