Want to avoid humiliation

T

tustin92614

Male
From
CA, US
Well, I am getting close to having my wife agree to get blacked. She's really enjoying IR vids now, and loves the way I make her feel with my new big black toy. She's even begging me to finish her with it now. BUT.......

I am into this because I want to see her have the best time ever. I can accept that he's going to make her feel things in ways I can't, and I am OK with that. But I don't want there to be any active humiliation. I am confident my wife won't, but how do I assure that he won't?? I expect that I will be the one finding the guy, at least at first. Has anyone discussed this with the guy ahead of time?? I want to be there, and would like to watch if I can. If he's not into my watching, I would probably get a suite where they can be in the bedroom while I hang out on the couch.

Any thoughts would be helpful.
 
tustin92614 said:
Well, I am getting close to having my wife agree to get blacked. She's really enjoying IR vids now, and loves the way I make her feel with my new big black toy. She's even begging me to finish her with it now. BUT.......

I am into this because I want to see her have the best time ever. I can accept that he's going to make her feel things in ways I can't, and I am OK with that. But I don't want there to be any active humiliation. I am confident my wife won't, but how do I assure that he won't?? I expect that I will be the one finding the guy, at least at first. Has anyone discussed this with the guy ahead of time?? I want to be there, and would like to watch if I can. If he's not into my watching, I would probably get a suite where they can be in the bedroom while I hang out on the couch.

Any thoughts would be helpful.
Click to expand...
Humiliation doesn't have to come into it. Most of the guys I've known, especially the guys who have met or spoke to my hubby, have been gentlemen. Polite and respectful.
As we've gone on it's been hubby who's enjoyed a bit of humiliation, hinting for me to say guys are bigger, better, hubby terrible lover etc, so I've said stuff more to turn hubby on really. So find out before the meet if the guys happy with you watching, and enjoy!
 
Hey, thanks for the response. Really interesting that the desire for "H" is coming from your husband. I guess in a cuckold situation there is always going to be some discomfort. Acknowledging that another guy can make your wife feel better is bound to cause some weird feelings. But I figure I can work through those as long as those feelings don't get reinforced by the wife or date. I did chat with a couple BBC about it on tumblr. I was really surprised how easy the conversation was. Thanks again.
 
Ann4BBC said:
Humiliation doesn't have to come into it. Most of the guys I've known, especially the guys who have met or spoke to my hubby, have been gentlemen. Polite and respectful.
As we've gone on it's been hubby who's enjoyed a bit of humiliation, hinting for me to say guys are bigger, better, hubby terrible lover etc, so I've said stuff more to turn hubby on really. So find out before the meet if the guys happy with you watching, and enjoy!
Click to expand...
Yes. Totally agree. I always ask the guy i am going to fuck is there ok with hubby around. If the answer is no then no future meet.
 
Like Ann4BBC says, humiliation isn't a requirement. My wife has a bull she fucks on a regular basis and we don't do any humiliation type things. Having another man fuck your wife has a built in humiliation factor but no bull is going to openly humiliate you unless you want him to
 
Agreed... no requirement for humiliation. However, between you and your wife is all up to what YOU and she decide. I love it and as Bellaazz said, its built in but select people you know share a desire for mutual respect and you are good to go. If its not your desire then its not sexy to you and good healthy fun has to be a desire or it bombs quickly and all involved know it. Also, keep in mind, the nature of our fun is always fun that develops so don't shut any doors that might lead to fun down the road... I never thought fun for us would be a lover staying here for 4-5 days with my wife at their beckoned call... it was a win for us all in our own way but would not be for everyone & we never would have had that on the radar when we started many years ago. Enjoy!!
 
Thanks for all the good advice. There has even been a couple black guys thst have chatted privately and were great to talk with. I guess we all get that there is some discomfort built into the cuck experience. But it does need to be veggies to it.
 
If a prospective Bull is not comfortable with the idea of you being there then he is not a Bull. He is simply a man looking for some pussy. Period point blank. This is a lifestyle and like any other segment of the fetish community, you have various participants with various titles. If you come across one of these men who claims to be a Bull but objects to you being present, I suggest you thank him for his time and continue your search.
 
You cannot be assured of anything or any direction it will take. Unless, the two of you are spot-on and know each other so well, each of you can spell out every single desire you have and what you will and will not do. The only problem with that perfect scenario I just laid out--is the other person that enters the picture may influence your spouse to do something she or you did not plan on or want or like. Then everything gets derailed.

There is huge risk in this. However, if you are completely 100% open minded and will allow anything and she is the same, then the commitment will hold up between you two called , marriage and love.
 
We've met with quite a few guys so far. To be honest, it doesn't seem like most of the men are into humiliating the husbands. Think it's more of a white guy cuck fantasy than anything. Every guy we've met just wants to fuck me and that will more than likely be the case with your wife as well.

My advice is don't compromise. Tell the prospective guy exactly what you both are into. There are ALOT of men who will be willing to meet with you and your wife on YOUR terms. This is about you guys' fantasy. If he isn't on board, move on to the next guy. As a for instance, we never meet with a guy if he isn't into being filmed. Because it's something we both really enjoy.
 
ShyGirl said:
We've met with quite a few guys so far. To be honest, it doesn't seem like most of the men are into humiliating the husbands. Think it's more of a white guy cuck fantasy than anything. Every guy we've met just wants to fuck me and that will more than likely be the case with your wife as well.

My advice is don't compromise. Tell the prospective guy exactly what you both are into. There are ALOT of men who will be willing to meet with you and your wife on YOUR terms. This is about you guys' fantasy. If he isn't on board, move on to the next guy. As a for instance, we never meet with a guy if he isn't into being filmed. Because it's something we both really enjoy.
Click to expand...

You are correct to a certain aspect of it. But, IMO experience with multiple wife partners in this lifestyle and also swinging lifestyle, (non cuck old/swing only), the premise of the couple is almost always set by the female is she is Dom. In this lifestyle, Female-Wife/Cuck-Hubby, there is more dom females than sub females by far, I feel and IMO.

However, also IMO and my experience, the sissy humiliation, degradation, willing to accept punishment, etc., is very wide spread among the males (cucks/sissies), but the females are not into it or scared of it.
 
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