Over the last 2 months, after five spectacular years of watching my beautiful black buddy and lover, now 24 years young, nightly barebacking my wife beside me in our marriage bed, I have been suffering---in the act of him ejaculating into her and her simultaneously climaxing with him---a resurgence of uncontrollable intensely erotic but strangely and deeply distressing visualisings of his orgasmically gaping cumslit spewing his semen straight into my wife's fucked-open cervix.
Because my buddy has impregnated my wife several times since he has been living with us, one would think that I would have become hardened to the actually traumatic psychological and emotional effect on me of my knowing how much more she loves the feeling of my buddy's vastly more copious and thumpier and better-aimed cum-spurts against her cervix, compared to my considerably weaker ones.
Her constantly increasingly orgiastic responses to him ejaculating in her are now vexing me to the point where every time I become aware that his orgasm is gripping and galvanizing him my mind is flooded with unrelenting but beautiful images of his cumspurts impacting her thirsty gaping cervix.
It has come obsess me to the point where I now find myself wishing he would wear a condom whenever he fucks her. But naturally I have never suggested much less insisted on that.
Deep down I suspect that my uncontrollable and increasingly gross visualisings of my buddy ejaculating into her are catalysed by my awareness of the intensely private and exclusive nature and meaning of powerfully enacted and correspondingly deeply-felt ejaculating vis-a-vis the lovers, naturally and rightly to the total exclusion of me and my jealous albeit admiring feelings about it.
Is my distress caused by the fact that my buddy's consummately ejaculating into my wife is the deeply-remembered ultimate expression of the beautiful and intense physical and emotional intimacy which I had with her, but now very obviously have no hope of ever personally (but only vicariously) re-experiencing with her?
Whatever it is, I need urgent relief from the distressingly intrusive and vivid and increasingly upsetting images of my wife's womb being so fulfillingly white-washed by my buddy's gushing ejaculations.
Has any member here got any suggestions of how I can get such relief? Even temporarily?
PS: This thread relates to certain of my earlier erotic ejaculatory visualisings that I briefly canvassed, amongst others, in the thread "The Agony and the ******* of Sloppy Seconds" I started on 26th June this year.
Because my buddy has impregnated my wife several times since he has been living with us, one would think that I would have become hardened to the actually traumatic psychological and emotional effect on me of my knowing how much more she loves the feeling of my buddy's vastly more copious and thumpier and better-aimed cum-spurts against her cervix, compared to my considerably weaker ones.
Her constantly increasingly orgiastic responses to him ejaculating in her are now vexing me to the point where every time I become aware that his orgasm is gripping and galvanizing him my mind is flooded with unrelenting but beautiful images of his cumspurts impacting her thirsty gaping cervix.
It has come obsess me to the point where I now find myself wishing he would wear a condom whenever he fucks her. But naturally I have never suggested much less insisted on that.
Deep down I suspect that my uncontrollable and increasingly gross visualisings of my buddy ejaculating into her are catalysed by my awareness of the intensely private and exclusive nature and meaning of powerfully enacted and correspondingly deeply-felt ejaculating vis-a-vis the lovers, naturally and rightly to the total exclusion of me and my jealous albeit admiring feelings about it.
Is my distress caused by the fact that my buddy's consummately ejaculating into my wife is the deeply-remembered ultimate expression of the beautiful and intense physical and emotional intimacy which I had with her, but now very obviously have no hope of ever personally (but only vicariously) re-experiencing with her?
Whatever it is, I need urgent relief from the distressingly intrusive and vivid and increasingly upsetting images of my wife's womb being so fulfillingly white-washed by my buddy's gushing ejaculations.
Has any member here got any suggestions of how I can get such relief? Even temporarily?
PS: This thread relates to certain of my earlier erotic ejaculatory visualisings that I briefly canvassed, amongst others, in the thread "The Agony and the ******* of Sloppy Seconds" I started on 26th June this year.
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