Trying to figure myself out

[jdemello]

Lurked here for years, my mind is against this phenomena but my brain stem, the lizard brain in me, is drawn to this whole thing like a moth to the flame. I’m married, in my thirties, trying to cope.

 

[blackking]

Cope with what exactly ?

 

[blackking]

Explain both !

 

[hard4u]

And what are they?

 

[hard4u]

Women of today are choosing not to follow th w norm, since hearing or seeing white women having sex with black men excite them to no end. At some point in time, she or you both may cross over.

 

[blackking]

Very torn predicament your in .....I suppose what’ll make you happy ?

 

[hard4u]

But do not rush into it. Remember, be true to thy self.

 

[blackking]

Very true , to be honest I think things are being pushed to being an open sort of swinging relationship/marriage and to me I’d struggle to adapt to that .

 

[hard4u]

Either way, civilization will survive and get stronger as time move forward. Look at it this way, blacks and white are getting together in the most intimate ways andhusbands and wives are in it together. It is no longer in the closet. The door has open and there is no going back.

 

[blackking]

Yeah I have no desire to swing or be with another woman

I see , but you would consider her with another guy ?

 

[blackking]

Either way, civilization will survive and get stronger as time move forward. Look at it this way, blacks and white are getting together in the most intimate ways andhusbands and wives are in it together. It is no longer in the closet. The door has open and there is no going back.

Yh I agree

 

[hard4u]

Only you can decide for yourself.

 

[blackking]

Yes

Which is interesting because I know a white woman that would consider going with other guys with me but I know if she did I wouldn’t like her the same , so you think you can handle her being with another guy and be ok about things after the fact ?

 

[bdowned]

Yes, I think I’m humble enough to realize I’m beta, and excepting that has caused me to not feel jelous if she says a guy is cute etc. but I know it would have irreparable consequences on our relationship dynamics

Where is your wife in this conundrum? Have you spoken to her about how much you like to see her flirting with other men? Does she do it more with Men of color?

When she says a man is cute, do you agree and ask her what it is she would like do with him? Getting the wife involved, slowly, could be critical. If she says there is no way she would consider it, back off and enjoy your fantasy.

You might be surprised that after a while it will be her who brings up the subject again.

 

[blackking]

View media item 162593

She’s cute .
It appears you might be struggling or bothered my something mentally that hasn’t shown to be worth worrying for , I’m assuming from your last post she knows nothing about this feeling of yours being on this site would tear you even further down the middle and for the irreparable damage on your relationship dynamic I take that as she would possible never expect this from you ?

 

[bdowned]

No I haven’t spoken to her because this isn’t something I’m trying to make happen, but hypothetically, if she had an affair and I found out about it I’d try to be supportive

This is all what and when you want to do anything. The last thing you want to do is endanger your marriage. Keeping it to yourself can be very difficult because what we do is an addiction. The deeper you get into it, the more it consumes you. I have a feeling you have let the cat out of the bag internally and trying to control it, or even make it go away, can be very painful. We are here to support you from both the Bull and cuck side. BlackKing is a wonderful example of that. One thing we would never do is try to push you.

 

[blackking]

Well I’d gladly leave that alone my friend , I think the defining factor on here is levels/stages for me with white woman im talking to if I took her to let’s say a sex party, and she went with another black guy I’d be excited she’s a bbc slut but I couldn’t love or want to be with her , and we’ve spoke about doing things but have ultimately decided it’s just talk , we’re at the same stage but with you and your misses don’t seem to be there and maybe it hasn’t even crossed her mind doing something like this for even to even get a hint of this might destroy what the both of you have made , I wouldn’t risk it buddy , the only solution to your complex is someone on the same page as you or stay away from this because I’m sure there has been and will be some bad endings to this lifestyle that not all people willl declare it might seem exciting but it’s challenging then it’s a challenge you don’t have to over , could just walk away from because like you said it really can change a dynamic to your founding relationship

 

[blackking]

This is all what and when you want to do anything. The last thing you want to do is endanger your marriage. Keeping it to yourself can be very difficult because what we do is an addiction. The deeper you get into it, the more it consumes you. I have a feeling you have let the cat out of the bag internally and trying to control it, or even make it go away, can be very painful. We are here to support you from both the Bull and cuck side. BlackKing is a wonderful example of that. One thing we would never do is try to push you.

Very good advise from my good man here

 

[bdowned]

Wow thanks for the humanness of your response, can I ask what you meant you have a feeling I’ve let the cat out of the bag internally?

You answered your own question when you said to BlackKing "...but on a primal level I can’t stop thinking this is hot AF and I wish I didn’t…"

Before we were married, the first time I said to my wife how much her telling me about dates with Black Men turned me on and her positive reaction started something that took a long time to settle down into the relationship we have now. But, I fantasized about it for a long time, even before I met her. Knowing she dated other men was one of the things that attracted me to her.

I had to bring up all the courage in me to finally admit how I felt to her. That could have gone either way. Once you admit it someone outside of our protected circle, a lot can happen very quickly. You need to be prepared for that to happen. I don't think you are there yet, or really want to be.

 

[blackking]

Wow I’m humbled by your sympathy. I honestly don’t want this to happen on an intellectual level, but on a primal level I can’t stop thinking this is hot AF and I wish I didn’t.

The thing is also science plays a pet in our make up ,our right brain is primal where as the left brain is opposite , it’s amazing to think we all have some internal battles going on which seems to suggest as humans we aren’t ever going to have a straight forward life meaning we must seek a middle ground/balance , so your right brain (primal) its begging for this urge to come to life , but lefty is abit more practical and lot more conscious of choose and consequence . I do believe there is not much harm in keeping a fantasy a fantasy , some people can have many partners but still feel empty , clear signs there are not living a life that is true to them and others can have multiply partners and have a degree of happiness , but as humans it been proven to much choice does more harm than good .