The Benefits of a Hiatus

[MissScarletQOS]

I doubt this thread will get much attention on this site. I know it's not a very sexy, fetishized topic but I think it's necessary to start the conversation here.

As I write this post, I am hours away from resuming my boyfriend and I’s cuckolding lifestyle after a nearly four months hiatus. I’ve been reviewing all of the things we’ve learned during that time and ultimately I’m abundantly grateful that we decided to take a hiatus. I wanted to share some of the benefits we experienced during this time, especially with any new cuckold couples like us. This lifestyle brings soaring high moments and, for many of us, some pretty low times as well. If you and your partner are experiencing difficulty, whether it comes in the form of cuckold angst, jealousy, hesitance, a bad experience with a bull, or reality not living up to fantasy, I want to encourage you to take a hiatus and re-focus on your relationship goals.

I was aware that things were going awry for a while before our hiatus. However, I was trepidatious about going on hiatus for a few reasons. Besides the fact that I didn’t want to miss out on all the amazing sex I was having, I was nervous about what my relationship would be like after so long in a non-monogamous lifestyle. I didn’t know how our power dynamic would shift, our whether or not we would both be left unsatisfied returning back to a “vanilla” relationship. However, I’m happy to report that any difficulty we experienced during our hiatus was minimal compared to the benefits.

Here are a few of the benefits we experienced during our hiatus:

1. We were able to take a step back and see where we had made mistakes. We were able to objectively and clearly identify how each element of the lifestyle made us feel. We were able to discern what went right for us and what went wrong with the clarity that comes with a break from active engagement in the lifestyle.
2. We were able to break the grip of cuckold fantasy and begin to focus on the reality of the lifestyle. I cannot emphasize enough how beneficial this has been for us. One of the sure-fire ways to bring discord into your relationship is to allow the overly fetishized, idealized version of what you think cuckolding should be to take hold of your experience. Watching porn is the worst offender here. During our hiatus we were able to communicate and be honest with one another about what we both want.
3. We were able to research, read, and communicate about what we have learned. We began to consult more practical guides on cuckold relationships rather than erotica. Removed from engaging in the lifestyle, we were able to communicate new ideas and set forth boundaries.
4. It allowed us to refine the power play between us and focus on our goals and a couple. We have wanted a female lead or female-centric relationship for quite some time, but struggled to establish it. Now, we are more confidant than ever in the direction of our relationship and work daily to develop this dynamic in a healthy way.

If you can relate to the things I’ve shared and are nervous about initiating a hiatus, I highly recommend you do. A hiatus can take many forms: you may have a monogamy hiatus like us, or you may simply scale back some of the elements of the lifestyle that are not working for you. Overall, I believe a hiatus is beneficial for the overall health of any relationship. If this lifestyle truly fits both of you, you will surely return more prepared and eager than ever. Have you ever taken a hiatus? Please share your experience! With that said, let the fun begin!

 

[WelshIRcuck]

I doubt this thread will get much attention on this site. I know it's not a very sexy, fetishized topic but I think it's necessary to start the conversation here.

As I write this post, I am hours away from resuming my boyfriend and I’s cuckolding lifestyle after a nearly four months hiatus. I’ve been reviewing all of the things we’ve learned during that time and ultimately I’m abundantly grateful that we decided to take a hiatus. I wanted to share some of the benefits we experienced during this time, especially with any new cuckold couples like us. This lifestyle brings soaring high moments and, for many of us, some pretty low times as well. If you and your partner are experiencing difficulty, whether it comes in the form of cuckold angst, jealousy, hesitance, a bad experience with a bull, or reality not living up to fantasy, I want to encourage you to take a hiatus and re-focus on your relationship goals.

I was aware that things were going awry for a while before our hiatus. However, I was trepidatious about going on hiatus for a few reasons. Besides the fact that I didn’t want to miss out on all the amazing sex I was having, I was nervous about what my relationship would be like after so long in a non-monogamous lifestyle. I didn’t know how our power dynamic would shift, our whether or not we would both be left unsatisfied returning back to a “vanilla” relationship. However, I’m happy to report that any difficulty we experienced during our hiatus was minimal compared to the benefits.

Here are a few of the benefits we experienced during our hiatus:

1. We were able to take a step back and see where we had made mistakes. We were able to objectively and clearly identify how each element of the lifestyle made us feel. We were able to discern what went right for us and what went wrong with the clarity that comes with a break from active engagement in the lifestyle.
2. We were able to break the grip of cuckold fantasy and begin to focus on the reality of the lifestyle. I cannot emphasize enough how beneficial this has been for us. One of the sure-fire ways to bring discord into your relationship is to allow the overly fetishized, idealized version of what you think cuckolding should be to take hold of your experience. Watching porn is the worst offender here. During our hiatus we were able to communicate and be honest with one another about what we both want.
3. We were able to research, read, and communicate about what we have learned. We began to consult more practical guides on cuckold relationships rather than erotica. Removed from engaging in the lifestyle, we were able to communicate new ideas and set forth boundaries.
4. It allowed us to refine the power play between us and focus on our goals and a couple. We have wanted a female lead or female-centric relationship for quite some time, but struggled to establish it. Now, we are more confidant than ever in the direction of our relationship and work daily to develop this dynamic in a healthy way.

If you can relate to the things I’ve shared and are nervous about initiating a hiatus, I highly recommend you do. A hiatus can take many forms: you may have a monogamy hiatus like us, or you may simply scale back some of the elements of the lifestyle that are not working for you. Overall, I believe a hiatus is beneficial for the overall health of any relationship. If this lifestyle truly fits both of you, you will surely return more prepared and eager than ever. Have you ever taken a hiatus? Please share your experience! With that said, let the fun begin!

Thankyou so much for this insightful, honest and extremely helpful post. As a white cuck wannabe I, more than most, fantasize about being involved in the interracial cuckold lifestyle and no doubt I idealize it too, not giving time to think about all the everyday relationship issues that don't fit into the idealized fantasy.

You have highlighted to me the value of stepping back and consciously thinking about where a relationship is heading, is the lifestyle working for both of you and openly discussing it with your partner. It's so easy just to go along with things and let things happen, without taking any agency or being proactive in the process.

Thanks again for being so introspective about your IR cuckold relationship. I would love to know if having a cuckold relationship has helped you attain a more female led or female-centric relationship that the pair of you aspired to?

I hope others with experience of the IR cuckold lifestyle will respond to this post with their own thoughts, feelings and concerns about their own relationships - I haven't any experience of such a relationship myself, so most of my input comes from having a strong IR cuckold fantasy.

All the best for the future.

 

[MissScarletQOS]

Thankyou so much for this insightful, honest and extremely helpful post. As a white cuck wannabe I, more than most, fantasize about being involved in the interracial cuckold lifestyle and no doubt I idealize it too, not giving time to think about all the everyday relationship issues that don't fit into the idealized fantasy.

You have highlighted to me the value of stepping back and consciously thinking about where a relationship is heading, is the lifestyle working for both of you and openly discussing it with your partner. It's so easy just to go along with things and let things happen, without taking any agency or being proactive in the process.

Thanks again for being so introspective about your IR cuckold relationship. I would love to know if having a cuckold relationship has helped you attain a more female led or female-centric relationship that the pair of you aspired to?

I hope others with experience of the IR cuckold lifestyle will respond to this post with their own thoughts, feelings and concerns about their own relationships - I haven't any experience of such a relationship myself, so most of my input comes from having a strong IR cuckold fantasy.

All the best for the future.

I so appreciated your thoughtful feedback. You are a great member of this community and I can tell you bring a level headed approach to your own desires-even if they are only desires at this point.

To answer your questions, some elements of my female-centric relationships fall heavily within the bounds of our cuckolding dynamic, and some do not. For instance, we engage in chastity which is more commonly associated with cuckolding but my cuck also performs domestic service, which falls more in line with submission and dominance. Cuckolding cements the importance of our female-centric relationship and reminds him that my pleasure is paramount.

I wanted to attach this graph I ran across about a year ago but did not attach to my OP. I think it very articulately describes the best course of action to take while factoring both partner's engagement in cuckolding. I love the fact that even when both partners have high satisfaction with cuckolding, the best course of action is to "continue and monitor." It's so essential! It's easy to get swept away by the hedonistic pleasures and emotions in this lifestyle.

 

[Anthony0542]

I doubt this thread will get much attention on this site. I know it's not a very sexy, fetishized topic but I think it's necessary to start the conversation here.

As I write this post, I am hours away from resuming my boyfriend and I’s cuckolding lifestyle after a nearly four months hiatus. I’ve been reviewing all of the things we’ve learned during that time and ultimately I’m abundantly grateful that we decided to take a hiatus. I wanted to share some of the benefits we experienced during this time, especially with any new cuckold couples like us. This lifestyle brings soaring high moments and, for many of us, some pretty low times as well. If you and your partner are experiencing difficulty, whether it comes in the form of cuckold angst, jealousy, hesitance, a bad experience with a bull, or reality not living up to fantasy, I want to encourage you to take a hiatus and re-focus on your relationship goals.

I was aware that things were going awry for a while before our hiatus. However, I was trepidatious about going on hiatus for a few reasons. Besides the fact that I didn’t want to miss out on all the amazing sex I was having, I was nervous about what my relationship would be like after so long in a non-monogamous lifestyle. I didn’t know how our power dynamic would shift, our whether or not we would both be left unsatisfied returning back to a “vanilla” relationship. However, I’m happy to report that any difficulty we experienced during our hiatus was minimal compared to the benefits.

Here are a few of the benefits we experienced during our hiatus:

1. We were able to take a step back and see where we had made mistakes. We were able to objectively and clearly identify how each element of the lifestyle made us feel. We were able to discern what went right for us and what went wrong with the clarity that comes with a break from active engagement in the lifestyle.
2. We were able to break the grip of cuckold fantasy and begin to focus on the reality of the lifestyle. I cannot emphasize enough how beneficial this has been for us. One of the sure-fire ways to bring discord into your relationship is to allow the overly fetishized, idealized version of what you think cuckolding should be to take hold of your experience. Watching porn is the worst offender here. During our hiatus we were able to communicate and be honest with one another about what we both want.
3. We were able to research, read, and communicate about what we have learned. We began to consult more practical guides on cuckold relationships rather than erotica. Removed from engaging in the lifestyle, we were able to communicate new ideas and set forth boundaries.
4. It allowed us to refine the power play between us and focus on our goals and a couple. We have wanted a female lead or female-centric relationship for quite some time, but struggled to establish it. Now, we are more confidant than ever in the direction of our relationship and work daily to develop this dynamic in a healthy way.

If you can relate to the things I’ve shared and are nervous about initiating a hiatus, I highly recommend you do. A hiatus can take many forms: you may have a monogamy hiatus like us, or you may simply scale back some of the elements of the lifestyle that are not working for you. Overall, I believe a hiatus is beneficial for the overall health of any relationship. If this lifestyle truly fits both of you, you will surely return more prepared and eager than ever. Have you ever taken a hiatus? Please share your experience! With that said, let the fun begin!

What a very thoughtful post. I really commend you for stepping back and away from the highly pleasurable experience to reassess and reevaluate how it’s working out for you and your husband. This must be a mutual enjoyable experience where both parties feel like they are winning and are not being taken advantage.

Thanks for your post, once again.

 

[WelshIRcuck]

I so appreciated your thoughtful feedback. You are a great member of this community and I can tell you bring a level headed approach to your own desires-even if they are only desires at this point.

To answer your questions, some elements of my female-centric relationships fall heavily within the bounds of our cuckolding dynamic, and some do not. For instance, we engage in chastity which is more commonly associated with cuckolding but my cuck also performs domestic service, which falls more in line with submission and dominance. Cuckolding cements the importance of our female-centric relationship and reminds him that my pleasure is paramount.

I wanted to attach this graph I ran across about a year ago but did not attach to my OP. I think it very articulately describes the best course of action to take while factoring both partner's engagement in cuckolding. I love the fact that even when both partners have high satisfaction with cuckolding, the best course of action is to "continue and monitor." It's so essential! It's easy to get swept away by the hedonistic pleasures and emotions in this lifestyle.

Thanks for your kind words, but I really did appreciate your post. It emphasises to me that so much thought, assessment and continual communication between wife and hubby are required to make a successful interracial cuckold relationship, even in the best of circumstances.

I was also enlightened by the female-centric dynamic and focus in your particular relationship, and I believe that this is something that would suit my particular psychology and character. I would have no interest in this life whatsoever if my future partner didn't gain a lot of pleasure from it, and I do have a 'need' to submit to a white female who takes big black lovers. In these circumstances, I believe I feel the desire to be very submissive to my partner and do her bidding, in other circumstances I don't have this desire.

That said, I wouldn't be following ths kind of lifestyle if I didn't believe I would receive fulfillment either. It must take a great deal of intimacy and unity on both sides to make this kind of relationship successful? But it appears you and your partner are achieving this. Congratulations - but keep monitoring!

 

[urbanechoc]

Thank you for this post, it shows a serious, thoughtful view of this aspect of the Lifestyle. I haven’t taken a break but I have had cause to reduce both the numbers of meets I have and the number of couples I meet.
The reason for the change is that I had a number of bare back and protected meets with couples I have seen a number of times, and it struck me that I preferred some couples to others, and that I could/can go bare with those I wanted to see.
I feel that I needed to honour or repay the trust placed in me in going bare by being careful with whom I play, protected or otherwise. It has meant less sex, but I am excited and horny to play, and I am enjoying the waiting for the next sex session to come. It isn’t the same as your experience, but I just wanted to say that I appreciate your post.

 

[MissScarletQOS]

Thank you for this post, it shows a serious, thoughtful view of this aspect of the Lifestyle. I haven’t taken a break but I have had cause to reduce both the numbers of meets I have and the number of couples I meet.
The reason for the change is that I had a number of bare back and protected meets with couples I have seen a number of times, and it struck me that I preferred some couples to others, and that I could/can go bare with those I wanted to see.
I feel that I needed to honour or repay the trust placed in me in going bare by being careful with whom I play, protected or otherwise. It has meant less sex, but I am excited and horny to play, and I am enjoying the waiting for the next sex session to come. It isn’t the same as your experience, but I just wanted to say that I appreciate your post.

Thank you so much for your thoughts! I really enjoyed hearing about this from a bull's perspective. I think it's just as valid for a bull to take a hiatus or make adjustments as a cuckold couple.

I also really appreciated your commitment to the wives/couples you play with. I've always have conversations with the bulls that I have gone bare with about the importance of making these adjustments. It's so important to take safety seriously in this lifestyle, and I can only imagine how the wives you play with show their appreciation.

 

[Newcuckcpl1215]

I doubt this thread will get much attention on this site. I know it's not a very sexy, fetishized topic but I think it's necessary to start the conversation here.

As I write this post, I am hours away from resuming my boyfriend and I’s cuckolding lifestyle after a nearly four months hiatus. I’ve been reviewing all of the things we’ve learned during that time and ultimately I’m abundantly grateful that we decided to take a hiatus. I wanted to share some of the benefits we experienced during this time, especially with any new cuckold couples like us. This lifestyle brings soaring high moments and, for many of us, some pretty low times as well. If you and your partner are experiencing difficulty, whether it comes in the form of cuckold angst, jealousy, hesitance, a bad experience with a bull, or reality not living up to fantasy, I want to encourage you to take a hiatus and re-focus on your relationship goals.

I was aware that things were going awry for a while before our hiatus. However, I was trepidatious about going on hiatus for a few reasons. Besides the fact that I didn’t want to miss out on all the amazing sex I was having, I was nervous about what my relationship would be like after so long in a non-monogamous lifestyle. I didn’t know how our power dynamic would shift, our whether or not we would both be left unsatisfied returning back to a “vanilla” relationship. However, I’m happy to report that any difficulty we experienced during our hiatus was minimal compared to the benefits.

Here are a few of the benefits we experienced during our hiatus:

1. We were able to take a step back and see where we had made mistakes. We were able to objectively and clearly identify how each element of the lifestyle made us feel. We were able to discern what went right for us and what went wrong with the clarity that comes with a break from active engagement in the lifestyle.
2. We were able to break the grip of cuckold fantasy and begin to focus on the reality of the lifestyle. I cannot emphasize enough how beneficial this has been for us. One of the sure-fire ways to bring discord into your relationship is to allow the overly fetishized, idealized version of what you think cuckolding should be to take hold of your experience. Watching porn is the worst offender here. During our hiatus we were able to communicate and be honest with one another about what we both want.
3. We were able to research, read, and communicate about what we have learned. We began to consult more practical guides on cuckold relationships rather than erotica. Removed from engaging in the lifestyle, we were able to communicate new ideas and set forth boundaries.
4. It allowed us to refine the power play between us and focus on our goals and a couple. We have wanted a female lead or female-centric relationship for quite some time, but struggled to establish it. Now, we are more confidant than ever in the direction of our relationship and work daily to develop this dynamic in a healthy way.

If you can relate to the things I’ve shared and are nervous about initiating a hiatus, I highly recommend you do. A hiatus can take many forms: you may have a monogamy hiatus like us, or you may simply scale back some of the elements of the lifestyle that are not working for you. Overall, I believe a hiatus is beneficial for the overall health of any relationship. If this lifestyle truly fits both of you, you will surely return more prepared and eager than ever. Have you ever taken a hiatus? Please share your experience! With that said, let the fun begin!

Great post and will certainly refer to this in our moving forward into this lifestyle. Glad to see you are back and enjoying it

 

[urbanechoc]

Thank you so much for your thoughts! I really enjoyed hearing about this from a bull's perspective. I think it's just as valid for a bull to take a hiatus or make adjustments as a cuckold couple.

I also really appreciated your commitment to the wives/couples you play with. I've always have conversations with the bulls that I have gone bare with about the importance of making these adjustments. It's so important to take safety seriously in this lifestyle, and I can only imagine how the wives you play with show their appreciation.

Thank you for your kind comments. They are very appreciative. I tend to send a screenshot of the result to them. I find myself listing after my regular meets more now, and bringing an intensity to sex which I enjoy.