Ten years of celibacy

submissive dan

submissive dan

Male
Hi everyone,

I'm a submissive male, aged 55, married to my wife for 17 years. I've never cheated on her. We haven't had sex in over 10 years. Recently, I decided that even though we weren't having any kind of sex or intimacy, I would give up masturbating as well, hoping that she'd see this as a sign of my devotion to her.

She seems asexual in terms of her own libido, but she's pretty dominant in the marriage in terms of telling me what to do, and having a strong personality.

Any suggestions on how I can get her re-engaged in our sex life, and encourage her to bring her dominant side into the bedroom? Thanks!
 
submissive dan said:
Hi everyone,

I'm a submissive male, aged 55, married to my wife for 17 years. I've never cheated on her. We haven't had sex in over 10 years. Recently, I decided that even though we weren't having any kind of sex or intimacy, I would give up masturbating as well, hoping that she'd see this as a sign of my devotion to her.

She seems asexual in terms of her own libido, but she's pretty dominant in the marriage in terms of telling me what to do, and having a strong personality.

Any suggestions on how I can get her re-engaged in our sex life, and encourage her to bring her dominant side into the bedroom? Thanks!
Click to expand...


What's her cell number, inbox me it
 
submissive dan said:
Hi everyone,

I'm a submissive male, aged 55, married to my wife for 17 years. I've never cheated on her. We haven't had sex in over 10 years. Recently, I decided that even though we weren't having any kind of sex or intimacy, I would give up masturbating as well, hoping that she'd see this as a sign of my devotion to her.

She seems asexual in terms of her own libido, but she's pretty dominant in the marriage in terms of telling me what to do, and having a strong personality.

Any suggestions on how I can get her re-engaged in our sex life, and encourage her to bring her dominant side into the bedroom? Thanks!
Click to expand...
Wouw what an history , so what you want to do , do you think she is asexual.
 
I’m not sure what to do. I’d be happy to submit to her and a real man, but I don’t think she has any interest unfortunately
 
submissive dan said:
Hi everyone,

I'm a submissive male, aged 55, married to my wife for 17 years. I've never cheated on her. We haven't had sex in over 10 years. Recently, I decided that even though we weren't having any kind of sex or intimacy, I would give up masturbating as well, hoping that she'd see this as a sign of my devotion to her.

She seems asexual in terms of her own libido, but she's pretty dominant in the marriage in terms of telling me what to do, and having a strong personality.

Any suggestions on how I can get her re-engaged in our sex life, and encourage her to bring her dominant side into the bedroom? Thanks!
Click to expand...
She might actually be looking for you to take charge in the bedroom. You know what you want when it comes to sex but what does she want? That is going to be the key to getting her interested in sex again. You enjoy being submissive but if she doesn't want to be a dominant in the bedroom that could be what is turning her off. She might be looking for that take charge man to step in, grab the reigns, and not take what is his.
 
Well it would probably have to be a different man, I don’t think I can do that credibly. Bend over and grab my ankles, yes. Be a take charge man to take what I want, no.
 
submissive dan said:
........ married to my wife for 17 years. I've never cheated on her. We haven't had sex in over 10 years. Recently, I decided ...... I would give up masturbating as well, hoping that she'd see this as a sign of my devotion to her.
She seems asexual in terms of her own libido, but she's pretty dominant in the marriage in terms of telling me what to do, and having a strong personality.
Click to expand...
... and that's unusual 'how'? gif_Yellowball-SmackingForehead.gif A lot of wives like to tell their husbands what to do and have strong personalities.
submissive dan said:
Any suggestions on how I can get her re-engaged in our sex life, and encourage her to bring her dominant side into the bedroom? Thanks!
Click to expand...
Sitting down and talking to her sounds like a recommended start. Have you done that yet? If so, what did she say?
No sex in over 10 years ... well, I think the first thing is to find out why she's decided to become asexual. Listing all the reasons she might have stopped having sex with you would take all night .... routinish sex or 'pattern sex', gaining 50-100 lbs (either of you), bad experience at sex, getting a incurable sexual disease such as herpes, low testosterone/hormone count in her, having an affair with another man, having *******, etc. I really think sitting down and having a chat would be good ... fix her a nice dinner, a few glasses of wine ... and just 'talk'. Ask her how you could help her get interested in sex, and it might be good for a doctor's exam (******* chemistry could be off).
You haven't posted that much since joining, but I can recommend you filling out your profile and telling us something about you and your wife, and why you joined here.
 
submissive dan said:
Hi everyone,

I'm a submissive male, aged 55, married to my wife for 17 years. I've never cheated on her. We haven't had sex in over 10 years. Recently, I decided that even though we weren't having any kind of sex or intimacy, I would give up masturbating as well, hoping that she'd see this as a sign of my devotion to her.

She seems asexual in terms of her own but she's pretty dominant in the marriage in terms of telling me what to do, and having a strong personality.

Any suggestions on how I can get her re-engaged in our sex life, and encourage her to bring her dominant side into the bedroom? Thanks!
Click to expand...


So you guys are just roommates, basically. You're assuming she's asexual. You've decided to stop masturbating as a sign of devotion to her. But you haven't communicated with her about any of this. So she's supposed to be a mind reader and figure this out all by herself. Got it.
I'm a strong woman. I guess Im what you'd call an Alpha female. But I don't want to be a man's mom, I don't like to nag a man to get ******* done and the last thing I want is to have to tell a man what to do in the bedroom!
I don't know how to tell you this but you're wife knows you're homosexual. Thats why you're really not having sex.

She's dominant in the marriage bcuz u a Pussy & Someone needs to be the man in the relationship! Maybe she's tired of being the man why dont you try and be one for a minute and see what happens! Or else just keep paying the rent and shut the hell up about it but whatever you do don't stop masturbating.
Either that or this whole story is bullshit! Whichever it is good luck.
 
Last edited:
Jewelz said:
So you guys are just roommates, basically. You're assuming she's asexual. You've decided to stop masturbating as a sign of devotion to her. But you haven't communicated with her about any of this. So she's supposed to be a mind reader and figure this out all by herself. Got it.
I'm a strong woman. I guess Im what you'd call an Alpha female. But I don't want go be a mans mom, I don't like to nag a man to get ******* done and the last thing I want is to have to tell a man what to do in the bedroom!
I don't know how to tell you this but you're wife knows you're homosexual. Thats why you're really not having sex.

She's dominant in the marriage bcuz u a Pussy & Someone needs to be the man in the relationship! Maybe she's tired of being the man why dont you try and be one for a minute and see what happens! Or else just keep paying the rent and shut the hell up about it but whatever you do don't stop masturbating.
Either that or this whole story is bullshit! Whichever it is good luck.
Click to expand...
Savage
 
******* is right. I have talked to her. She doesn’t know why she has no sex drive. Could be earlier traumas before we met. Thanks for the feedback though.
 
This occurred before we started with black men, so not BBC related.

One of my wife's friend hated sex, but the problem was her hubby. Her description of sex with him was:
No foreplay
He gets on top
Pumps for less than a minute
Rolls off and goes to sleep

After their divorce, she had her first orgasm and it released the slut in her.
 
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Sounds to me that he has a roomate. Maybe you should just go dutch on all the expenses unless you're happy with what you're in. This story sounds made up though.
 
Definitely not made up. Wish it was. We’ve tried two different marriage counselors. She warms up once in a while enough to give me a kiss but other than that no sexual intimacy. We’re good friends, business partners, and co-parents. I suppose that once the two ******* are grown, we’ll get an amicable divorce. In the meantime, I’ve started masturbating again for my own sanity.
 
submissive dan said:
Definitely not made up. Wish it was. We’ve tried two different marriage counselors. She warms up once in a while enough to give me a kiss but other than that no sexual intimacy. We’re good friends, business partners, and co-parents. I suppose that once the two ******* are grown, we’ll get an amicable divorce. In the meantime, I’ve started masturbating again for my own sanity.
Click to expand...
And dating on the side is not an option for you??
 
Well, sounds like a tough one. I have relied on masturbation to substitute for sex most of my life, and i'm ok with it, and my wife almost prefers me do it and encourages it. She has bought me fake pussies/ Flashlights etc. to enjoy, but in saying that she prefers to still be involved, watch me, join in. So, I don't do it in seclusion, its just how we tend to roll. Is that something your wife would go along with. Even my ex-wife that almost always denied me pussy, would still let me suck on her toes, nipples while I masturbated and would let me cum on her feet/ tits etc. which I was more than happy with.
 
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