(sophia here) love but not sexually attracted to husband.

hotcouple2233 said:
I don't think it's "natural" at all. There are plenty of Hotwives on this site & others whose "BBC Cred" is indisputable and who still have a VERY robust sex life (PIV) with their husbands.

IMHO generally the only variable w/ regard to adult relationships is one party looking at (1) WHAT they can get away with and then (2) HOW to get away with it.

In my previous marriage my Ex tried to sexually cut me off for non-lifestyle reasons. After trying to resolve things reasonably I told her that's not what I signed up for & gave her 2 weeks to find me a side chick.

If she didn't find me a side girl in that time I told her I'd find one myself & that I would not be sneaking around but I'd be fucking her in my house & in my bed.

My Ex threw tantrums, cried, threatened divorce, etc, etc but as the day closed in & she saw I was not giving in MIRACULOUSLY fucking, blowjobs, anal EVERYTHING was on the table again. Funny how that works.

My current wife heard that story long before we got married. She's a wonderful woman who I know puts my needs first (otherwise I'd never've married her), but she also knows that I will not sacrifice my needs for ANY woman's whim.

My current wife has a thing for black guys but she knows that the day MY NEEDS are not her priority, (the way I make HER NEEDS a priority of MINE) is the day we're done. Again, imho, that's what they call a "marriage" and that is what we both agreed to when we said "I do".

Personally I'd say (man or woman) if you can't or won't find out your partner's sexual needs & make them a priority then perhaps you shouldn't be in that relationship.

If your husband DOES want sex with YOU and YOU won't give it to him then maybe it's time for both to move on. You are a team & everything has to work for both parties.

For me that experience from my previous marriage opened my eyes. Whether Swingers, Cuck, Stag, Cuckoldress, Hotwife, Cuckquean, etc life is WAY TOO SHORT to waste a single moment on someone who won't make your needs their priority.
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Well said
 
Jack Ward said:
I am no longer sexually intrested by my husband, im only turned on by my bull , is that normally part of the process of this lifestyle . Me and my husband havnt had sex in 6 months and my whos pretty experienced introduced my hisband to chastity. Would getting jack a felshlight do the job ?
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I don't want to be rude or noisy but why not give your bull head while your husband fucks you or give your husband sloppy seconds. Better yet a combination of both.
 
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hotcouple2233 said:
I don't think it's "natural" at all. There are plenty of Hotwives on this site & others whose "BBC Cred" is indisputable and who still have a VERY robust sex life (PIV) with their husbands.

IMHO generally the only variable w/ regard to adult relationships is one party looking at (1) WHAT they can get away with and then (2) HOW to get away with it.

In my previous marriage my Ex tried to sexually cut me off for non-lifestyle reasons. After trying to resolve things reasonably I told her that's not what I signed up for & gave her 2 weeks to find me a side chick.

If she didn't find me a side girl in that time I told her I'd find one myself & that I would not be sneaking around but I'd be fucking her in my house & in my bed.

My Ex threw tantrums, cried, threatened divorce, etc, etc but as the day closed in & she saw I was not giving in MIRACULOUSLY fucking, blowjobs, anal EVERYTHING was on the table again. Funny how that works.

My current wife heard that story long before we got married. She's a wonderful woman who I know puts my needs first (otherwise I'd never've married her), but she also knows that I will not sacrifice my needs for ANY woman's whim.

My current wife has a thing for black guys but she knows that the day MY NEEDS are not her priority, (the way I make HER NEEDS a priority of MINE) is the day we're done. Again, imho, that's what they call a "marriage" and that is what we both agreed to when we said "I do".

Personally I'd say (man or woman) if you can't or won't find out your partner's sexual needs & make them a priority then perhaps you shouldn't be in that relationship.

If your husband DOES want sex with YOU and YOU won't give it to him then maybe it's time for both to move on. You are a team & everything has to work for both parties.

For me that experience from my previous marriage opened my eyes. Whether Swingers, Cuck, Stag, Cuckoldress, Hotwife, Cuckquean, etc life is WAY TOO SHORT to waste a single moment on someone who won't make your needs their priority.
Click to expand...

VERY well said! We agree totally..
 
hotcouple2233 said:
I don't think it's "natural" at all. There are plenty of Hotwives on this site & others whose "BBC Cred" is indisputable and who still have a VERY robust sex life (PIV) with their husbands.

IMHO generally the only variable w/ regard to adult relationships is one party looking at (1) WHAT they can get away with and then (2) HOW to get away with it.

In my previous marriage my Ex tried to sexually cut me off for non-lifestyle reasons. After trying to resolve things reasonably I told her that's not what I signed up for & gave her 2 weeks to find me a side chick.

If she didn't find me a side girl in that time I told her I'd find one myself & that I would not be sneaking around but I'd be fucking her in my house & in my bed.

My Ex threw tantrums, cried, threatened divorce, etc, etc but as the day closed in & she saw I was not giving in MIRACULOUSLY fucking, blowjobs, anal EVERYTHING was on the table again. Funny how that works.

My current wife heard that story long before we got married. She's a wonderful woman who I know puts my needs first (otherwise I'd never've married her), but she also knows that I will not sacrifice my needs for ANY woman's whim.

My current wife has a thing for black guys but she knows that the day MY NEEDS are not her priority, (the way I make HER NEEDS a priority of MINE) is the day we're done. Again, imho, that's what they call a "marriage" and that is what we both agreed to when we said "I do".

Personally I'd say (man or woman) if you can't or won't find out your partner's sexual needs & make them a priority then perhaps you shouldn't be in that relationship.

If your husband DOES want sex with YOU and YOU won't give it to him then maybe it's time for both to move on. You are a team & everything has to work for both parties.

For me that experience from my previous marriage opened my eyes. Whether Swingers, Cuck, Stag, Cuckoldress, Hotwife, Cuckquean, etc life is WAY TOO SHORT to waste a single moment on someone who won't make your needs their priority.
Click to expand...

A rare, refreshing blast of common sense.
 
I guess I'm in the minority then. I have no desire for my husband sexually.

Don't get me wrong. In every other way, M is my best friend, my soulmate and an incredible human being and a wonderful ******* but in that same vein, because of the deep love and spiritual connection we share, he knows that sexually, he does not satisfy me and cannot satisfy me as black men can.

It's no fault of his own. I don't humiliate him, call him names or make him feel less than what he is which is the most wonderful man alive, it is simply a fact of life I came to realize after I went black. And I love him all the more for allowing me the freedom to seek that satisfaction elsewhere.
 
Kutapi said:
Seems like pretty natural honey, even though I don't have much experience in this. But I do believe there should be some sexual connection exist, like a BJ once in a while or jerking him off and eventually lead to something more intense like milking him. ;)
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And if I may add a final thought here, and I'm the last person to judge, this is just MY personal opinion, being with my husband for the sake of just being with him without actually enjoying it is kind of a dishonor to him. It would mean I would have to fake things for his sake. And while I may tell little white lies here and there, I would never outright lie to my husband. I love him too much to do so. I love to cuddle with him, I love to kiss him and snuggle with him, I just don't feel that desire to let him mount me and I won't fake it. It's that simple. Again, just my personal opinion.
 
Samantha38 said:
I guess I'm in the minority then. I have no desire for my husband sexually.

Don't get me wrong. In every other way, M is my best friend, my soulmate and an incredible human being and a wonderful ******* but in that same vein, because of the deep love and spiritual connection we share, he knows that sexually, he does not satisfy me and cannot satisfy me as black men can.

It's no fault of his own. I don't humiliate him, call him names or make him feel less than what he is which is the most wonderful man alive, it is simply a fact of life I came to realize after I went black. And I love him all the more for allowing me the freedom to seek that satisfaction elsewhere.
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I don't see a problem with that at all :)
 
Samantha38 said:
And if I may add a final thought here, and I'm the last person to judge, this is just MY personal opinion, being with my husband for the sake of just being with him without actually enjoying it is kind of a dishonor to him. It would mean I would have to fake things for his sake. And while I may tell little white lies here and there, I would never outright lie to my husband. I love him too much to do so. I love to cuddle with him, I love to kiss him and snuggle with him, I just don't feel that desire to let him mount me and I won't fake it. It's that simple. Again, just my personal opinion.
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I find your post very interesting. I wish my Ex-wife would have felt the same way because it was obvious that I could not satisfy her the way her lover did and I would have been satisfied with just some attention but she let emotions get the best of her and moved on. So I applaud your attitude.
 
Samantha38 said:
And if I may add a final thought here, and I'm the last person to judge, this is just MY personal opinion, being with my husband for the sake of just being with him without actually enjoying it is kind of a dishonor to him. It would mean I would have to fake things for his sake. And while I may tell little white lies here and there, I would never outright lie to my husband. I love him too much to do so. I love to cuddle with him, I love to kiss him and snuggle with him, I just don't feel that desire to let him mount me and I won't fake it. It's that simple. Again, just my personal opinion.
Click to expand...

You explain your feelings very well.

My question:

Does your Husband want a sexual relationship with you? Does he still want to have sex with you?

If he still wants a sexual relationship with you are you open to it (even if that sexual relationship is not the primary source of your sexual gratification)?

Or do you expect him to find that outside your relationship as well?
 
Samantha38 said:
And if I may add a final thought here, and I'm the last person to judge, this is just MY personal opinion, being with my husband for the sake of just being with him without actually enjoying it is kind of a dishonor to him. It would mean I would have to fake things for his sake. And while I may tell little white lies here and there, I would never outright lie to my husband. I love him too much to do so. I love to cuddle with him, I love to kiss him and snuggle with him, I just don't feel that desire to let him mount me and I won't fake it. It's that simple. Again, just my personal opinion.
Click to expand...


This is a point of view that's as interesting as it is contradictory:

A satisfying sex life is So Important....but only for ME. NOT if it means taking care of the needs of my "soul mate" and "man who I love".

Would love to hear your thoughts, etc. Thanks
 
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