What's the point if both cannot experience all that is involved. Listening to her and another man only fuels the imagination. The rubber really hits the road when you see and hear her as she reacts to his touch. Often the husband will see a side of his wife that he did not know existed. All the emotions of jealousy, anger, envy, and regret are fueled by actually seeing them together. When that bell gets rung there is no unringing it. So it's at that point you have to decide if you are either are in or out.