this makes me sad
im so sorry, and obviously this seems to be affecting your husband mentally and emotionally. Is he going to therapy for the mental ramifications of no longer having an erection?
Questions on where my husband is at mentally?
im so sorry, and obviously this seems to be affecting your husband mentally and emotionally. Is he going to therapy for the mental ramifications of no longer having an erection?
Male here, and honestly, it could be a myriad of things that make your husband behave this way: I don't know and the closest one that does is you. I feel like because of our society's closed minded culture of "alpha man must always be in control" (or whatever variation of it) fucks with a Male's ego when his same ego is telling him his penis is inadequate and he must only watch his wife fuck another man. It's pretty torturous to be split like that with your sexuality.
In all, if your husband is on the fence, try to understand the why. Talk to him about why he switches and give him a real listen without judging to get the answer you seek. If he doesn't open up, it's up to you on how to proceed to either helping him open up (which can take years) or learning to accept him as he is or whatever other millionth decision you can take.
But ultimately, desire mixed with guilt is why he cums and "snaps" out of it. I used to be the same with Michelle; now I cum and I'm like "Wow. I am so lucky." I have been for many years now. It wasn't always like that and someday it can change for me. A true person, in my opinion, must learn who they are before they are open to
others about what they think they want to be. We unfortunately always start backwards and learn about ourselves in the process, but by then, things have changed.
Don't mean to sound ominous, but it's as real as I can be. Talk to him and communicate what you feel when he doesn't. Sounds like he is really feeding his mind a lot of pornography and although fine to do, an ambivalent mind needs to dig deep into itself, not outside sources.
In all, if your husband is on the fence, try to understand the why. Talk to him about why he switches and give him a real listen without judging to get the answer you seek. If he doesn't open up, it's up to you on how to proceed to either helping him open up (which can take years) or learning to accept him as he is or whatever other millionth decision you can take.
But ultimately, desire mixed with guilt is why he cums and "snaps" out of it. I used to be the same with Michelle; now I cum and I'm like "Wow. I am so lucky." I have been for many years now. It wasn't always like that and someday it can change for me. A true person, in my opinion, must learn who they are before they are open to
others about what they think they want to be. We unfortunately always start backwards and learn about ourselves in the process, but by then, things have changed.
Don't mean to sound ominous, but it's as real as I can be. Talk to him and communicate what you feel when he doesn't. Sounds like he is really feeding his mind a lot of pornography and although fine to do, an ambivalent mind needs to dig deep into itself, not outside sources.
I want to say that I do appreciate you commenting. And your perspective is helpful, but I would disagree with the advice you gave.
As the wife it is NOT your role or responsibility to HELP your husband "figure" out his brain. Obviously you love him, otherwise you would have fucked the bull and more by now. So there is no question about your care and concern for your husband. But this is where I disagree with you here @MichelleLuvBBC - it is your responsibility as the husband and as a man and as a human being to take ownership of your thoughts and feelings and not "jerk" other people around.
Her husband is being very immature and childish. And this has nothing to do with society, except to say that society allows men to act whatever way they want. And as long as men make money and can provide for others, society basically gives you a pass. If you cannot provide and make money, then society shames the crap out of you. So is that what you meant by the male-ego? Cuz I have dealt with the male-ego and most guys haven't developed past age 12 for the most part.
This woman's husband is dealing with some deep seeded psychological issues. ED can mess man's brain up, but in more ways than just male ego. Im not sure if he is unable to orgasm at this point, which it sounds like that's the case. And not having ejaculations will also affect a man's entire body chemistry and hormones. It is not uncommon for men with ED to fall into depression. So just in case that is happening here, hopefully the wife is encouraging him to seek professional help. He already has a Dr. prescribing him meds, but he also needs someone to talk to so that he can air out all of the "mess" that is going on inside his head. It is not fair to his wife to "dump" his nonsense onto her. That is really male-centric and toxic. Men need to own up to their own ******* and stop looking to women to bail you out all the time.
I need to explain this better. please accept my apologies for not being clear.this makes me sad
He is able to get an erection, sometimes very hard, sometimes half staff. He can have orgasms because I have swallowed many of them for years and enjoy it very much.
my orgasms have always been loud, hard, and I can cum many many times during sex.
Since we have been married up until several years ago he was able to make me cum hard and very good that I was totally satisfied?
Since he introduced me to interracial porn, and I started to enjoy watching it, and added to the porn he bought several black dildos for me, my orgasms multiplied by 10! I have squirted for many years but never soaked the bed like I do while watching interracial porn and masturbating while my husband was whispering really hot fantasies in my ear about watching me fuck a black guy.
He said he could tell my orgasms were much stronger now with my dildos than with him, even though I could cum good with him he said he felt like I deserved to cum as good as possible and with him I wasn’t. I told him I didn’t care but he persisted,.
So he can get hard while watching me fuck my dildos, It’s when we try to fuck he gets half and half and that doesn’t work. He does have some erection issues because when I suck him off he can get soft, then get hard again before he cums.
He told me the other evening that he wanted me to take on a more dominant role in our sex life. Nothing too heavy, just me talking more and me telling him what I want. Problem is I am not a dom. Don’t want to be.
Dont get me wrong, Our sex is great. And he can definately cum, and he cums a lot. Especially when we talk about us meeting a black guy.
He calls his dick my little man clit, even though it’s considered average when hard. We have role played and I kind of liked “owning his clit” as we called it, but I’m not comfortable with that all the time. I will admit that just recently I like telling him to Jack off and so I can watch him cum. This gets him really hard and he shoots a huge load when I tell him I want to watch him Jack off.
so maybe there is some information in here to help me, or us, think about what we need to do.
Sorry to ramble and any questions please let me know. I can even get him on here if need be. He said he was willing.
Let me apologize to you first. You don't have to apologize at all. You are a wonderful person and an incredible wife. I appreciate the clarification and I get a much better sense of what is happening.
So, just so you are aware, the reason you are having 10X intensity on the orgasms is because of the size. Color or race really has nothing to do with it. So if you found a man that has a cock that is larger than average. You might have the same type of orgasm. I say might, because there are a few mitigating circumstances that your husband is not aware of because he has zero experience. So thats why I always recommend and advise brand new couples that they dont meet regular bulls for your first experiences. In fact, I highly recommend you find bulls that have experience being trainers or teachers, because you are going to need at least 3 months of consistent teaching and coaching before you can fully enter the lifestyle. Trust me, it makes a huge difference for your marriage and long term fun.
In terms of your husband, this is my suggestion and I am making this based on the new information you provided.
I know you dont want to be Dom or feel comfortable. So hopefully me giving you this advice makes you feel more like you are doing what Im telling you to do, than you came up with the idea on your own. But I want you to have sex with your husband. And I want you to tell him to cum inside of you. It doesnt sound like you have done this part before, but after he orgasms inside you, tell him in very stern language, "now eat your cum little clit"
I always do this with husbands who keep going back and forth and cant make up their mind as to what they want to do. This will give you a really good idea as to how committed he is to this whole fantasy idea. If you want, you can message me and we can chat after you try this, I dont expect nor want you to feel everything you do in your bedroom needs to be public if you dont want it to be.
There’s actually a name for this & it makes sense once you read up on it. It’s part of
the sexual response cycle & it’s broken down into four phases:
the sexual response cycle & it’s broken down into four phases:
- Desire (libido).
- Arousal (excitement).
- Orgasm.
- Resolution.
You should meet with the black bull. If the husband is hesitant have him wait in the bathroom so he can listen. Once he Hears you moaning I think he will loosen up. If he is there make sure he doesn’t cum until after you and the bull are done.
His mood swings relating to this subject are likely to be related to his orgasms and the emotional stress relating to his erectile dysfunction brought on by the BP meds. If you do at some point get to the stage where he is horny and excited about this, don't let him cum if you are going to meet the bull in the next few days.
It sounds as though this is upsetting him and he is losing his confidence. He should speak to his doctor about the side-effect his BP meds are having. Lowering his BP is important, but the erectile dysfunction issue is upsetting him and that kind of stress isn't going to be helping his BP.
The doctor may be able to alter the dose, recommend an alternative without that side effect, recommend supplements that address the ED without a conflict with the meds or give practical advice, such as don't take the meds until after you have fucked your wife.
If your husband is aged lower than 45, his testosterone will be higher in the morning after a good night sleep so on't be scared of his morning boner it might be the best opportunity each day and it sounds as though he needs cheering up ASAP.
His endurance would improve if his cardiovascular fitness was better and if he does more exercise, his BP will come down.
I would also recommend that you involve him any time you send or receive a message from the bull, as his confidence is down and he probably feels like you are slipping away from him, so keep him involved.
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I think the signs are very clear to me now, if you share your wife with others, our life and marriage is damaged, and we cannot put the genie back in the bottle. A smart person who learns from others people's mistake and heed the warnings.
I think your husband is damaged beyond repair, and so is your marriage.
We are no longer pursuing this lifestyle. I suggest you seek help for your marriage before it's too late.
How do you mean he is damaged?
but it also seems he's much more einto it than he wants to admit even to himself
That is excellent advice , preventing his orgasm is nessasary
You need to keep in chastity so that he is always horny and willing to do what you want. You're right. After he cums he is probably just ready to snack and watch TV. You need to keep him attentive and obedient until he has satisfied everything you require of him.
It is not a bad thing that your husband is different than before. And your feelings should change also as you accept the inferiority of white males.
But to keep the relationship going, I think it is best that the wife has casual flings with lots of bulls rather than having a serious thing with one bull. If she has just one guy providing for her needs of sexual intamacy, she is most certainly going to fall in love with him and become uninterested in anything about her husband.
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Looks similar to my cock size and shape
This is exactly it. Upto the point of orgasm he is game for everything then it changes.
This makes the prospect of meeting quite risky at the moment as he is not sure what he wants.
Only when he can say calmly, with clarity, and has been recommended ‘outside a sexual setting’, would I consider meeting someone.
His feelings and reactions are nothing new to guys who are coming into this, don’t think they are, but it is something he will have to learn to cope with or it could have a negative impact on not just this but your whole relationship.
Rob Johnson
Male
I’d push him and send him over the line. If he is going backwards and forwards with his thoughts the best thing would be to hold his hand and make it happen.
if he has a hesitant tendency he always will have, so to push him to the next level would be good for him and great for you
Always horny
Male
Wow I couldn't agree more
