New Guy Here

[mistercuck]

Hi folks been a long time lurker. I've fantasized about being a cuck with all of my partner's in the past confessed my fantasy to a couple of them, didn't go down well. My current partner is quite open minded but I've not discussed it with her because I'm not really sure if it would affect our relationship long term and tbh I desperately don't want to damage it. I've finally found my soulmate we've been together nearly a year and a half. I think my fantasy started when I got cheated on with my first gf when I was 16 when I got to about age 18 I started to like the idea of being cheated on and it's just snowballed from there I'm 30 now. I'm definitely not well endowed but I can pleasure my gf very well believe it or not but she's not had a huge amount of sexual experience in the past, but not a small amount either, she told me she pegged a guy once so she's definitely not shy in the bedroom but it wasn't her thing she just obliged. I don't know how much she'd be willing to explore sexually with me because she doesn't want to damage our relationship either, I don't want to lose respect for her and I don't want her to lose respect for me. But I can't help fantasize about her sleeping with someone much better in the bedroom than me. I kind of want her to take the driving seat in our sex life and don't want to push anything. Maybe one day she might accidentally discover the small amount of porn I have on my phone and open up to me but for now it's just a fantasy. I do work away a lot and if she slept with someone else I'd be jealous at first but I think I'd get used to it as long as there were boundaries and it wouldn't affect our relationship. She is not a size queen she has the mentality that it's not what you've got its what you do with it that counts.

I hope to contribute a bit to the community,
Nice to meet you all.

 

[txskipper]

I would embelish on what happened when you were 16. First the fear and jealousy then the accepting it and then ---
Of course this should be done during an intimate time. good luck

 

[mistercuck]

I would embelish on what happened when you were 16. First the fear and jealousy then the accepting it and then ---
Of course this should be done during an intimate time. good luck

Yeah I can see what you mean, maybe we should talk more during foreplay.

 

[michael87]

Hi folks been a long time lurker. I've fantasized about being a cuck with all of my partner's in the past confessed my fantasy to a couple of them, didn't go down well. My current partner is quite open minded but I've not discussed it with her because I'm not really sure if it would affect our relationship long term and tbh I desperately don't want to damage it. I've finally found my soulmate we've been together nearly a year and a half. I think my fantasy started when I got cheated on with my first gf when I was 16 when I got to about age 18 I started to like the idea of being cheated on and it's just snowballed from there I'm 30 now. I'm definitely not well endowed but I can pleasure my gf very well believe it or not but she's not had a huge amount of sexual experience in the past, but not a small amount either, she told me she pegged a guy once so she's definitely not shy in the bedroom but it wasn't her thing she just obliged. I don't know how much she'd be willing to explore sexually with me because she doesn't want to damage our relationship either, I don't want to lose respect for her and I don't want her to lose respect for me. But I can't help fantasize about her sleeping with someone much better in the bedroom than me. I kind of want her to take the driving seat in our sex life and don't want to push anything. Maybe one day she might accidentally discover the small amount of porn I have on my phone and open up to me but for now it's just a fantasy. I do work away a lot and if she slept with someone else I'd be jealous at first but I think I'd get used to it as long as there were boundaries and it wouldn't affect our relationship. She is not a size queen she has the mentality that it's not what you've got its what you do with it that counts.

I hope to contribute a bit to the community,
Nice to meet you all.

“…..”snowballed” you say? I like that.

Seriously though, your experience of being cheated on 14 years ago by your first girlfriend will be permanently and traumatically imprinted in your heart and mind. As a 16-year-old you would have had no skills at all, and probably no inclination either, to cope with or deliver yourself of the trauma. The way your post reads, you almost certainly didn’t seek counselling for it either.

Questions: Was it a buddy of yours that your first girlfriend betrayed you with? Did you catch them in the act?

Because if one or both applies, the trauma will have been catastrophically deeper.

Whatever your answers to the above two questions are, it seems to me (as an MD and sexologist) that when you turned 18 your undealt-with trauma began feeding into your sexual fantasising about being betrayed again, and you getting to like the “idea” of being cheated on again. Such is the perversely addictive power of sexual betrayal of a tender youth.

Now you are 30 and fantasising about your present woman/girlfriend “sleeping” with another man better endowed and more sexually skilled than you are. Perhaps with you watching?

You appear worried that such an event will make you jealous—which it surely will. But you think that putting unspecified “boundaries” in place will ensure that your girlfriend doesn’t fall for her new lover and perhaps dump you. Both of which could very easily happen when the lid of the Pandora’s Box of girlfriend-sharing is flung open.

Perhaps the thought of that happening excites you. Perhaps it doesn’t. But whether or not it does, the very first fuck your girlfriend gets from the man you are fantasising will take her, you can be very sure will affect relationship with her forever, and in easily predictable ways.

Are you ready for that?