My hunch – and I tend to have good hunches – is that your wife is ‘testing the waters.’ She’s putting her toe in to check the temperature before diving headlong into this. Note – she had accessed the IR porn already! So she has been thinking about this and is responding to it.
In your place, I’d try to create in her a sense that she is ‘leading’ you, and that you are following her lead.
Understand that in telling you she’d do this ‘if you weren’t married,’ your wife took a HUGE risk. She is testing the waters. It’s also clear that she responds very much to size. She pointed you to this to test your reaction. Your best response would be to have said, ‘holy crap – just LOOK at that!’ Show her that it is sinking in deep.
As it is, you can still go back and explain that while you’ve heard ‘talk’ about the size, you had no idea ‘how right’ she was – and that the black/white WITH the size just makes it that much more POWERFUL! Tell her you’d never have believed how POWERFUL and AROUSING and BEAUTIFUL and NATURAL and RIGHT it all made it seem for you … but when you LOOK at them, you CAN’T help FEELING that way!
THANK her for ‘sharing’ that with you! Tell her that it just FEELS that THIS is what sex is SUPPOSED to be. Say that you agree exactly why she’d want this, ‘like you said’ … just look at their size!
Without calling this a ‘dilemma,’ you can speak ‘AS IF’ you’re IN one. On one hand, you believe she has every right to all the pleasure she can have; and you want this for her, because you love her. But you also need to know if ‘we’ would still be good, since I’d be really ‘outgunned.’ She’ll know what that means.
Without saying so, this ‘communicates’ that you’re ‘open’ to this … but ‘reassurance’ would help you commit to it. If she asks [or demands] to know if you’re saying that you WANT her to do this … you can repeat – you’re only saying that you love her, you know she’s entitled to ALL the womanly pleasure she can have – IF she wants it, and it is your role to support her in whatever she decides. IF she asks you what YOU think about it – you tell her that ‘I look at the pictures like you showed me … and I just feel deep inside that this is RIGHT, that it’s SUPPOSED to happen. I feel that I need to affirm you whatever you do … but yeah … I kinda can’t stop thinking about it … they’re so big … the images are so powerful! I can’t shake them any more than you can’ [affirming that she’s thinking about this, and it’s ‘OK’]. Add, ‘we just need to be honest and upfront … I’m so glad we’ve started this discussion … it makes me feel closer to you, like we can discuss anything now…’
Above all else, your wife wants to know that your relationship together is secure. That's why I've ended on the note I have. Your wife has a fertile imagination. Feed her stuff like this and let it percolate in her mind. Be prepared for the next verbal bomb she drops.
You want to create a fully-supportive and judgment-free environment where your wife knows that she is free to ‘explore’ her human sexuality and that you fully support this wherever it may go. You tell her that NOT with so many words, but by remaining positive, and sharing in her excitement as she crosses each new boundary. Since she watches [or visits some websites], you can suggest at some point that you do so together.
You’re welcome to PM me; and if you think it appropriate, I’ll correspond with her.
Good luck!
