Wife: Hi Honey!
Husband: Ummmm, what is this all about? You said you were going to the gym.
Wife: I did. This is my personal trainer who is using me as a set of weights.
Husband: Is that so? Well tell him that it looks like a bird pooped on his head!
Wife: EWWWWWWWW, You are right!
Husband. Make sure you wash your hands!
Wife: Youre always looking out for me like the good cucky you are .... errr, I mean hubby you are!
Wife: Hi honey!
Husband: What in tarnation is this!
Wife: Getting jealous? Like to see me with a big black cock? I am finally getting a real man after 50 years of marriage to your tiny white noodle!
Husband: I cannot believe you are doing this too me!
Wife: Get used to it you pathetic cum stain cuck!
Husband: Are you saying something to me honey bunch? I'm looking at the credit card statement and you bought 50 boxes of depends. I know I told you to just get five and reorder as needed.
Wife: Oh I did. Sorry honey, my memory isnt that its used to be.
Wife: Hi honey bunch!
Hubby: Uhhhh, what is going on here? I thought you were going for a walk.
Wife: I did go for a walk. To Tyrones place.
Hubby: I see. So you think you can just suck a black d*ick and send it to me thinking
I will get jealous? WTF is wrong with you?
Wife: Look at the picture and tell me what youre not getting?
Hubby: What?
Wife: Someone is with us is taking the picture.
Hubby: AAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!
Wife: LOL cucky. You have cleanup detail when I get home.
Wife: Hi honey!
Husband: What the f is going on here!
Wife: I just wanted you to see Darnell.
Husband: I cant believe what I am seeing!!!! Dammit!
Wife: You know I like black men and you encouraged me.
Husband: F*uck me!!! I am so totally stupid!!
Wife: You should have thought about that before.
Husband: Honey bunch, were you talking to me? I am playing a video game and I just walked into a minefield and my squad is getting blown up. GRRRRRRRR!!!!
Wife: YOU USELESS CUCK!!!! F*UCK YOU! You dont care for what I want!
Husband. I know what I want. A sammich. So finish up with him and get home.
Wife. Yes dear.
Wife: This is Darnell. I'm using your wife's phone. She says hello.
Husband: WTF is going on here. Give the phone to my wife!
Darnell: She cant speak because shes tied up at the moment.
Husband: And shes gagged. I like your style.
Darnell: She may be gagged but shes still yapping away like a little dog.
Husband: And you have her doggy style too.
Darnell: Is there anything I can do to shut her up?
Husband: Cant help you there, aside from sticking your cuck, err I mean cock in her mouth.
Darnell, so besides f*ucking her, I am f*ucked to!
Husband: I'm afraid so!
Wife: Hi! This is Tyrone.
Husband: What the F is going on? God damn it! I hate this!!!
Wife: Ohhh, a little bit of jealousy? LOL cucky!
Husband: I hate it, I hate it!
Wife: Well you wanted this.
Husband: Honey bunch, were you talking to me? I put a hundred down on my team and they just gave up six runs and are now 2 runs down! F*uck!
Wife: YOU COCK STAINED CUCKTARD!!! I HATE YOU!
Husband. Honey when you come home brush your teeth!!
Wife: OK honey. Love you!
Wife: Hi honey!
Husband: What the!!!! I cant believe it!!!
Wife: Jealous are you? LOL!
Husband: I certainly didn't expect this to happen!
Wife: I met them today. We are going to have some one on one action. You like that dont you?
Husband: Honey, were you saying something to me? We got a larger tax refund than expected! And you know what, since you are such a good hotwife, come on home and lets go shopping for a new car!
Wife: THANK YOU HONEY!!! Youre so sweet. I will be right home for you! Love yah!
Wife: Uh, guys, maybe another time!
Wife: Hi honey!
Husband: And hello to you sweetie!
Wife: Dont you want to know who that man is?
Husband: Nope!
Wife: I HATE YOU CUCKY!!! YOU'RE NEVER JEALOUS OF ANYTHING I DO!
Husband: I am jealous of your sammich making skills. In fact I want one when you get home.
Bull: I want one to!
Wife: ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!
Husband: Hey honeybunch, tell whats his name that his tattoo makes him look gay.
Wife: Hi honey
Husband: What the F? I thought you went on a walk with Susan?
Wife: We did and we ran into Tyrone.
Husband, Who the f is that?
Wife: Susan's boyfriend.
Husband: So why is he f*ucking you and not her?
Wife: Shes on her period.
Husband: OK, makes sense.
Wife: Hey we gotta go. Some coyotes can smell her stink and are coming at us.
Wife: Hi honey
Husband: Hi.
Wife: This is Darnell.
Husband: YESSSSSSS!!!! Woooo Hoooo!!! Way to go!
Wife: I knew you would like to see him. And he is going to f*uck me real good!
Husband: Honey bunch, were you saying something? I was watching the baseball game and the team I have one hundred on just scored three runs to tie the game!
Wife: YOU CUM STAINED CUCKASS!!! NOTHING I DO BOTHERS YOU!!!! WHY WHY WHY?
Husband: Sweetie, tell what's his name that his hair style looks like a frying pan landed on him.
Wife: ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!! I HATE YOU!!!
Wife: Hi honey!
Husband: Ummmm, whats this?
Wife: I just met him.
Husband: hmmmmm, you just kiss the first black guy you meet?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: His oversize hat means hes gay:
Wife: UGGGHHHHH, you're right. His breath smelled like s*hit!
Wife: Hi honey!
Husband: Ummmmm whats going on here? What The Fuck!
Wife: I invited Darnell and his friend over.
Husband: I'm on my business trip and I cant believe this crap!
Wife: Oh honey, are you getting jealous? LOL!!
Husband: Darling, were you saying something to me? I'm reading a memo from my boss about whats reimbursable. F*uck those bastards!
Wife: I HATE YOU! NOTHING I DO GETS YOU ANGRY!!!!!!!
Husband: One thing I will be angry at is if you don’t wash the sheets before I come home.
Wife: Yes dear.
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