Ive been on btw for a couple years now and totally addicted. My wife has no idea im into this even to the point i actually sucked a bbc one time and loved it. Makes me feel dirty but i get so turned on when i relive that day. Getting her blacked is my major goal but it will takeva really long time if ever which is why i think i took it upon myself to experiment on my own. Like i said i feel really bad about it and want to do it again like im punishing myself. Makes no sense other than something is telling me this is wrong. Im so confused.