Is she cheating?/Am I enough?

Saturday I was going through my gf of 8 years Snapchat. I saw a contact in regents named “DC” who I believed was one of my homeboys from college. I clicked on it to not find anything at first...pulled the tab down and saw a convo with her first bbc from a decade ago. Said some things about me and that she didn’t think about sex with me anymore. I didn’t see anything to lead me to believe they were talking about each other sexually but other messages had been deleted. Don’t know what to do or how to feel. Why does it turn me on so much to think she said she wished I had a bigger cock and that she was talking to this guy (who she has admitted was bigger than me) in a negative light?! So confused, horny, pissed and hurt. Any advice or opinions would help
 
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Hi it's Mike from New York if you give me permission I would love to get in touch with wife and start chatting with her all about BBC and I would let you know what she says about you and find out more if she have had BBC before without her knowing that you get the info
 
Why didn't you allow me to give it a shot just to follow up hey how you doing haven't heard from you I know how much how much you miss myedbc and I want to see what her reaction will be
 
I wish it wasn’t. I didn’t say I saw anything crazy other than the three between them and some ******* talking about me. I need help with how to deal with this rollercoaster of emotions I’m going through. Heartbroken because of who it was but so turned on by the thought of her setting him even though she adamantly denies doing that. “Just asking advice about our relationship” is what she says
 
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