Inaccurate use of the word Cuckold?

[Kimber4kicks]

Sorry, a bit confused over the terminology...
In my limited experience, a cuckold generally refers to a male, or the husband/boyfriend, correct?
However, some postings here and a few other places use words like "Cuckold Wife" or "Cuckold Milf".....
Shouldn't it be spoken as "Hotwife" or "Hot Milf"? (you get my meaning)
I certainly do not see myself as anything cuckold, only my hubby and other hotwifes hubbies, etc..

Am I mistaken?

 

[geoffrya]

Sorry, a bit confused over the terminology...
In my limited experience, a cuckold generally refers to a male, or the husband/boyfriend, correct?
However, some postings here and a few other places use words like "Cuckold Wife" or "Cuckold Milf".....
Shouldn't it be spoken as "Hotwife" or "Hot Milf"? (you get my meaning)
I certainly do not see myself as anything cuckold, only my hubby and other hotwifes hubbies, etc..

Am I mistaken?

no husband is a cuckold your thre cuckoldress

 

[Jaxrussellbbc]

I hate when people say or use the word cuckhold . Wtf is the hold ?

 

[Jimmydong]

Sorry, a bit confused over the terminology...
In my limited experience, a cuckold generally refers to a male, or the husband/boyfriend, correct?
However, some postings here and a few other places use words like "Cuckold Wife" or "Cuckold Milf".....
Shouldn't it be spoken as "Hotwife" or "Hot Milf"? (you get my meaning)
I certainly do not see myself as anything cuckold, only my hubby and other hotwifes hubbies, etc..

Am I mistaken?

Maybe they mean the wife of a cuckold when they say cuckold wife. In other words cuckold’s wife.

 

[geoffrya]

Cuckoldress

 

[Dblinsey]

The proper term for a woman who has sex outside the marriage is Cuckoldress.

But there are so many different variations today (language does evolve) that different situations have different terms.

Stag/Vixen is a common one.

 

[spin419]

Maybe they mean the wife of a cuckold when they say cuckold wife. In other words cuckold’s wife.

Yes. Surely that’s the intent

 

[Jdingo619]

Sorry, a bit confused over the terminology...
In my limited experience, a cuckold generally refers to a male, or the husband/boyfriend, correct?
However, some postings here and a few other places use words like "Cuckold Wife" or "Cuckold Milf".....
Shouldn't it be spoken as "Hotwife" or "Hot Milf"? (you get my meaning)
I certainly do not see myself as anything cuckold, only my hubby and other hotwifes hubbies, etc..

Am I mistaken?

Some people don't actually consider themselves exclusively in the hotwife branch of the lifestyle they actually consider themselves swingers who play equally together with others in the lifestyle! So people play wife exclusively or husband exclusively. Some people do both swinger parties and cuckold play every once in awhile!

So it's possible to be a mature milf, who's a wife, who plays with other's at a party sometimes, who also plays in private with a Bull while her hubby watches or doesn't watch!

For example the general definition of a cuckold is when your woman is sleeping with other men besides you but the cuck term also generally is seen as the more beta male and less masculine guy while a stag is seen as the more Alpha male who shares his woman. The mindset is the beta male cuck can't satisfy her so he has to share her for her to get satisfaction while the Alpha male stag is just breaking bread and sharing his pussy because "it ain't no fun if your homies can't have none"!

 

[Dblinsey]

The one thing about language is that it's constantly evolving. For example, in the 1950s, 'bread' was something you made sandwiches with. By the late 60s, it became a slang word for money. Go figure!

In the 1600s to early-1900s, a 'cuckold' was exactly what was described above, a woman who has cheated on her husband. But like everything else, the term evolved.

With the advent of effective birth control, women (especially married women), became a lot more sexually active, so swinging evolved. Basically, people exchanged partners for a night of fun. The term 'cuckold' really didn't apply as the guy was having fun as well as his wife.

Of course, nothing is static, especially when it comes to human behavior. What's referred to as Open Marriages began to crop up. The woman was free to have fun with others, as was the guy. Again, 'cuckold' didn't apply as everything was above board with the consent of all concerned.

Now things get a tad confused, we have the term "hotwife' and 'Stag/Vixen' - both describing generally the same thing. The woman has fun with her husbands consent, but he doesn't necessarily participate.

Is he a cuckold? Not the way I understand it. Again, everything is above board and everyone is in agreement.

So, I would say that the term 'cuckold' has evolved to mean one of two things:
1. The original meaning. A guy whose wife cheats on him without his knowledge.
2. A guy who is 'less masculine' and enjoys the idea of being humiliated by a more assertive male.

To wrap this up, I'm in what we refer to as a 'Stag/Vixen' relationship. My husband is a very 'Alpha' male, but he honestly enjoys seeing me having fun with my Black lover. The original meaning obviously doesn't apply as everything is above board and I have his total consent. Because my husband is equally engaged, this places us in a Stag/Vixen relationship.

However, it's my understanding that a 'Hotwife' dates on her own, with her husband's consent. He knows what she's doing, but chooses not to become involved.

This is my perception of the various terms. Of course, anyone can assign any definition to any word, but from my view, this adequately defines the various evolving relationships we're seeing today. Evolving? Yes! Increasingly, we're seeing Palimony becoming popular. So who knows what else the future will bring?

 

[Naughtygators]

@Dblinsey and @Jdingo619 summed it perfectly (but I want to comment anyways). Cuck has evolved to mean more of a beta/submissive male. Cock humiliation, ****** to watch only, clean up duty, being caged, and so forth have all been included under the “cuck” definition. This has resulted in confusion since cuck was broad and referred to what is now either stag/vixen or hotwife. Those definitions can also have broad and overlapping definitions.

I don’t see cuckoldress, cuck or whatever being used for a women too often. Sometimes for the sake of brevity in a short post. Because all these terms have multiple definitions, it’s best to be more specific when having longer conversations.

 

[Dblinsey]

@Dblinsey and @Jdingo619 summed it perfectly (but I want to comment anyways). Cuck has evolved to mean more of a beta/submissive male. Cock humiliation, ****** to watch only, clean up duty, being caged, and so forth have all been included under the “cuck” definition. This has resulted in confusion since cuck was broad and referred to what is now either stag/vixen or hotwife. Those definitions can also have broad and overlapping definitions.

I don’t see cuckoldress, cuck or whatever being used for a women too often. Sometimes for the sake of brevity in a short post. Because all these terms have multiple definitions, it’s best to be more specific when having longer conversations.

Good observations... I think there is a distinct difference between 'hotwife' and 'cuckoldress.' Whereas a 'hotwife' goes out on dates without her husband's participation, a 'cuckoldress' is a woman who dates without her husband's knowledge. Hence, I think that a 'cuckoldress' would be best identified as simply a woman having an affair.

But you're right, the boundaries between the various terms (cuckoldress, vixen, hotwife and swinger) are fluid, lacking in hard and fast categories and definitions.

But if women are hard to categorize, men are harder! What's the difference between a 'stud,' 'bull,' and/or 'lover?' And then, given that, what's the woman called? For example, in context, how would the woman be described if the husband were explaining it to someone? I.e. "The Bull came up to my wife...". We've described the male (Bull) but what would the female be called in this description?

Finally (and I promise I'll get off my soapbox!) I think the generally accepted description of a woman who has experienced a Black man isn't right. The common term is that we say she's been 'Blacked.' But that really doesn't work.

The symbol for the activity is the 'spade.' We also refer to the woman as a 'Queen of Spades.' But I've never heard the term 'Queen of Blacks' or anything remotely close. So I tend to use the term 'Spaded.' For example "Laura was spaded last night..." which would agree with the symbology of the spade and term Queen of Spades. Again, for example, "Laura was spaded last night, and today she asked me to get a QoS temporary tattoo."

Thus, the term 'spaded' would be more accurate and (to me) is much more erotic!

Language is fluid. Terminology much more so. To top it off, there isn't a panel of experts (like the folks who add words to dictionary) who codify the various terms and activities into a single, mutually accepted word. So I guess we'll have to flounder through life, debating the various terms and situations amongst ourselves!

 

[vici4u]

no husband is a cuckold your thre cuckoldress

I don't think you have to be a"husband" to be a cuckold, it's of my opinion a state of mindset and desires

 

[RangerCuck]

I don't think you have to be a"husband" to be a cuckold, it's of my opinion a state of mindset and desires

This is correct. You don't have to be married to someone to be cuckolded by them (my GF would confirm that! lol)

 

[Dblinsey]

I don't think you have to be a"husband" to be a cuckold, it's of my opinion a state of mindset and desires

Interesting position, but I don't think I agree with this position.

If you're dating a woman and she sees someone else, she's just playing the field. No different than if a guy takes a woman out on a few dates and plays around with someone else. The investment in time and energy just isn't there. She's free to do what she wants without serious adverse reactions, same with the guy. So they break up... What's the big deal?

A wife/husband has a lot more invested, hence the term. Not only are they living together, possibly having children together, but they signed a contract, a marriage contract (in a lot of ways, it falls under contract law, that's why divorce is so difficult and involves lawyers and a court). Hence, it is vastly different than a girlfriend/boyfriend thing.

Thus, if a wife sees another man, or a husband sees another woman, the labels apply (i.e. 'cuckold,' 'hotwife,' 'Stag,' 'Vixen, etc). I've never heard of a guy being with a girl in the dating stage of a relationship referred to as a 'cuckold,' but not saying that it doesn't happen.

Again, we go back to the use of the term "A husband who's WIFE cheats" not just any girl who happens to be dating a guy who has a fling one night.

All that being said, I'll revert back to my original position: Language is flexible and evolving. What may be totally understood and accepted today may be vastly different tomorrow. For example. If I said that a guy was 'gay' 50 or 75 years ago, I'd say he's a happy go lucky individual. Today, it means something vastly different! Also, a 'fagot' 50 or 75 years ago was a bundle of wood. Now it's a derogatory term for a guy who's a homosexual.

Just my view on the topic.

 

[RangerCuck]

Interesting position, but I don't think I agree with this position.

I hate to break this to you, but just because you "don't agree" with this position doesn't make it not applicable.

If you're dating a woman and she sees someone else, she's just playing the field. No different than if a guy takes a woman out on a few dates and plays around with someone else. The investment in time and energy just isn't there. She's free to do what she wants without serious adverse reactions, same with the guy. So they break up... What's the big deal?

You also don't get to decide the quality of the "investment in time and energy" of someone else's relationship. There are literally *millions* of people living together in committed relationships that aren't married.

A wife/husband has a lot more invested, hence the term. Not only are they living together, possibly having children together, but they signed a contract, a marriage contract (in a lot of ways, it falls under contract law, that's why divorce is so difficult and involves lawyers and a court). Hence, it is vastly different than a girlfriend/boyfriend thing.

Again, you need to get out more. People in non-marriages have children, they live together, they have life committments to one another, etc. Are you seriously this clueless about what goes on in the world?

I've never heard of a guy being with a girl in the dating stage of a relationship referred to as a 'cuckold,' but not saying that it doesn't happen.

It does. I am living proof that it does. I'm in a long-term relationship with a woman who I am not married to, and we use the term because it *literally* applies to how our relationship is constructed.

Again, we go back to the use of the term "A husband who's WIFE cheats" not just any girl who happens to be dating a guy who has a fling one night.

I'm guessing one reason you're having a tough time with this is because English is a second or third language for you? Given all your grammatical errors, I'm hoping this is the case (and hoping that it explains the lack of understanding of the word in today's world).

The reason the word originally applied to "married men" was because people didn't shack up or live in non-marriages back when the word was originally used. Not only that, but it was originally used specifically to refer to men who raised children fathered by another man, not just someone whose wife was cheating on them. So, using your logic here, if a guy's not raising someone else's baby, even if he is married, he's not a cuckold. lol

Just out of curiosity, what word would you use to describe a "cuckold" in a non-marriage, if you don't think that's the "right" word for it?

 

[geoffrya]

This is correct. You don't have to be married to someone to be cuckolded by them (my GF would confirm that! lol)

yes of course you botth above correct that you donr have to be married to be cucked i was wrong but was thinking of my own situation sorry

 

[Dblinsey]

I was expressing an opinion. Everyone in this thread, in this forum, on the internet and in life has the right to express their opinion.

Unfortunately, it's become an accepted trend in American society not to engage in informed debate, but to lambast people with differing views.

No where in any of my responses did I express a negative thought against an individual. I expressed my opinion and provided basises for those opinions, again, without negative connotations.

As the accepted trend in American society is to shirk away from negative arguments, withdrawing into their corners, vowing to stop expressing opinions in open forums, I will do the opposite and respond, at least to the last question: "...what word would you use to describe a "cuckold" in a non-marriage,..."

That depends on two factors. First, is it an extremely long relationship, basically a common-law type of thing where the couple are living together and possibly have had *******? Then cuckold would be the accurate term d tue to the investment of time and effort both people have put into it.

If it's simply dating, say for perhaps a few months, then there isn't an accurate word for it. She simply saw someone else. Now, it's up to him to decide if the relationship is worth salvaging.

The above scenario happens all the time and is extremely common. Girl is dating a guy, gets a little tipsy with some friends and ends up in bed with another guy. Now it's up to the guy she's been dating to decide if he wants to maintain the relationship or not. But he wouldn't be a cuckold.

The on-line version of the Marriam-Webster Dictionary describes (in part) "...a man whose wife is unfaithful...". I will add that it goes on to describe that there is no applicable term for 'a woman whose husband is unfaithful' but does admit that although obscure, 'cuckqueen' has been used.

To further support my argument, no where does it imply that 'any man who is dating an unfaithful woman is a cuckold.'

Finally, I have repeatedly said that language is evolving. People use terms that may or may not join the general lexicon. Some people believe that a man who is in a relationship with a woman, regardless as to how casual it may be, who subsequently has a fling with another man, makes the guy she is casually seeing a cuckold. But I contend that that isn't the case.

 

[ht805cpl]

The proper term for a woman who has sex outside the marriage is Cuckoldress.

But there are so many different variations today (language does evolve) that different situations have different terms.

Stag/Vixen is a common one.

Good comment, or why is there a term or name what about swinging couples who perhaps have 3 Somes or a woman who may get involved in a train or gang bang so many options for couples to be involved in why do they have to be labeled ay all when not call them swingers or fun loving couples in what ever the relationship they have?

 

[Dblinsey]

Good comment, or why is there a term or name what about swinging couples who perhaps have 3 Somes or a woman who may get involved in a train or gang bang so many options for couples to be involved in why do they have to be labeled ay all when not call them swingers or fun loving couples in what ever the relationship they have?

First, thank you for your comments regarding my previous input and you're right in that there are countless variations of sexual involvement.

But to answer your question about 'why labels' it's simple, a label is simply a form of identification. After all, a 'name' is a label (i.e. apple - both can be considered a label).

So, in the quest for labeling everything, we find that there may be too MANY variations. An example is the non hetrosexual community. First you had Lesbian, then Gay, then Bi, and it went on and on. Finally the compromise was settled by agreed upon - LGBQT. But even that is suspect... Consider, not that long ago, 'Gay' men were called 'Queer' but now it's shifted to some other defination.

So now we're back to the question... Why label? To identify as a section of a sub-set. To inform others, as effectively as possible, what they enjoy.

We identify (label ourselves) as a Stag/Vixen couple. Let me explain what that means from our viewpoint. Husband and I decided that if I was interested, I could have a Black lover. Well, I was, so off we went. He is never humiliated. He is far from a wimp. We're totally in this together. I have the sex with a black guy, he watches and we're both quite happy with our roles.

The other side of the coin is Cuckold. That's a guy (we believe) whose wife is having an affair, regardless of his desires, and he accepts her actions without input or protest.

Do you see the difference, but how similar they are too:
Wife is having an affair
Husband isn't actively involved but approves.

Wife is having an affair
Regardless of husbands feelings about it, yet he accepts her actions.

Different label for ALMOST the same thing.

Well, this is much too long as it is.

Let me know your thoughts!

 

[ht805cpl]

First, thank you for your comments regarding my previous input and you're right in that there are countless variations of sexual involvement.

But to answer your question about 'why labels' it's simple, a label is simply a form of identification. After all, a 'name' is a label (i.e. apple - both can be considered a label).

So, in the quest for labeling everything, we find that there may be too MANY variations. An example is the non hetrosexual community. First you had Lesbian, then Gay, then Bi, and it went on and on. Finally the compromise was settled by agreed upon - LGBQT. But even that is suspect... Consider, not that long ago, 'Gay' men were called 'Queer' but now it's shifted to some other defination.

So now we're back to the question... Why label? To identify as a section of a sub-set. To inform others, as effectively as possible, what they enjoy.

We identify (label ourselves) as a Stag/Vixen couple. Let me explain what that means from our viewpoint. Husband and I decided that if I was interested, I could have a Black lover. Well, I was, so off we went. He is never humiliated. He is far from a wimp. We're totally in this together. I have the sex with a black guy, he watches and we're both quite happy with our roles.

The other side of the coin is Cuckold. That's a guy (we believe) whose wife is having an affair, regardless of his desires, and he accepts her actions without input or protest.

Do you see the difference, but how similar they are too:
Wife is having an affair
Husband isn't actively involved but approves.

Wife is having an affair
Regardless of husbands feelings about it, yet he accepts her actions.

Different label for ALMOST the same thing.

Well, this is much too long as it is.

Let me know your thoughts!

Thanks for the input and explanation. It’s still confusing or I guess perhaps not being one to like being labeled. My man and are both bi in some form perhaps him more than I but we do not identify with the LGBQT label or movement, we swing with other couples or in groups and I also play with black men with and without my man with his total agreement. So with that said I guess we are not a cuckold couple. Stag Vixen maybe but sometimes he is involved and sometimes not. I don’t really think we are unique as we know other couples whom seem to be like us. We are a couple whom love each other and enjoy sex with each other as well as other people. Today he does not play often with other women but I truly enjoy play with other men and for the past several years those men have been black men. Not because they are black but because I have come to believe the sex is better with black men. Do not get me wrong I have been with black men who did not turn me on or maybe the sex was good but I had no desire to see them again. I will try any black guy who seems nice but unless there is a connection of some sort it may be a one night stand. I tend to like to find men I am very comfortable with and have long term relationships with them as our personal schedules allow. All with my man’s permission and all the men know him and have had sex with us as a couple. After that the combinations vary as to everyone’s desires. I enjoy my man with me and other men and there are times I just want to be alone with someone else. I guess based on what you have described I may be a vixen more than a hot wife and him more a stag than a cuckold which I never seen him as anyway. I don’t mind the term hot wife or MILF and can see why I could get that label when people see me a married lady having sex with black men. Oh well as you said a bit long. Thanks for your insite on the topic and you’ve given me something to think about. Still kinda opposed to the label thing but I get what you are saying. I guess better than being called a slut or whore or cunt. Although I’ve probably been called those as well. Just me or us a fun loving couple who love n respect each other as you both do!