Going to summarize this as best I can. Wife and I got into cuckolding after about 2 years of fantasizing. We met and chatted with a bull online that eventually became her first post marital cock. He was a white older gentleman. She enjoyed for a few months but due to distance and he wanted to involve himself overly in our lives she stepped back. Nothing bad to speak of but it had run its course. Next she Meets a friend of a friend, very attractive white man that’s going through a divorce. They have a very intense sexual relationship. Completely sexual- no emotional Involvement and no pressure for anything beyond sex. Best sex of her life. He didn’t know that I new for the first probably 2 years but she eventually told him I knew although omitted the cuckold portion. It continued but due to some extenuating circumstances it came to an end. Through all this she/we maintained an idea that at some point she’d love to enjoy a black man and that it would at some point, if the situation was right, be very open to the idea.
Now for the trouble portion. Unbeknownst to me she had a few one offs with a collegue/mentor. Eventually she confesses- I had been very suspicious- I’m not happy but not really all that angry. Her reason for not telling me is that she didn’t know if she wanted to get involved but thought I’d push her too. Sort of bullshit but life can be complicated, and I just we both had made some mistakes. Now enter a new friend whom I’ll call N. N is the ex wife of a friend. Acquaintances prior but then suddenly they are besties. N is bi and possibly interested in her. Which at first I thought, damn. Now that might be cool. But N, after hearing in confidence out sexual past tell her I’m/we are pretty f-Ed up and it’s not healthy and it’s borderline abuse. So the last year she’s been in my wife’s ear and both of us just trying to reconnect with each other but N just propping up any insecurity or flaw. I’ve tried to extract us from the relationship with her but my wife will not completely walk away and 90% of the time convinced that any type of open relationship is emotional abuse. Sex should be completely vanilla and only about pure passionate love. One year ago we had an active fantasy life. Sex chats. Sex probably 5/6 times per week. Possibly thinking of going to splash mocha or had two possible men she was thinking of playing with. There are still rare glimpses of the tease/ cuck/ playful sex we used to have but it’s often followed by guilt and post nut clarity by her and this is during now once on average sex.
Ideally I’d like to return to where we were a year ago. I’d also be happy with just the fantasy and past experiences if she’s not into it. Im not sure how to overcome this guilt she seems to carry and I’ve mostly been just passive letting her friendship with N cool off and move on.
Now for the trouble portion. Unbeknownst to me she had a few one offs with a collegue/mentor. Eventually she confesses- I had been very suspicious- I’m not happy but not really all that angry. Her reason for not telling me is that she didn’t know if she wanted to get involved but thought I’d push her too. Sort of bullshit but life can be complicated, and I just we both had made some mistakes. Now enter a new friend whom I’ll call N. N is the ex wife of a friend. Acquaintances prior but then suddenly they are besties. N is bi and possibly interested in her. Which at first I thought, damn. Now that might be cool. But N, after hearing in confidence out sexual past tell her I’m/we are pretty f-Ed up and it’s not healthy and it’s borderline abuse. So the last year she’s been in my wife’s ear and both of us just trying to reconnect with each other but N just propping up any insecurity or flaw. I’ve tried to extract us from the relationship with her but my wife will not completely walk away and 90% of the time convinced that any type of open relationship is emotional abuse. Sex should be completely vanilla and only about pure passionate love. One year ago we had an active fantasy life. Sex chats. Sex probably 5/6 times per week. Possibly thinking of going to splash mocha or had two possible men she was thinking of playing with. There are still rare glimpses of the tease/ cuck/ playful sex we used to have but it’s often followed by guilt and post nut clarity by her and this is during now once on average sex.
Ideally I’d like to return to where we were a year ago. I’d also be happy with just the fantasy and past experiences if she’s not into it. Im not sure how to overcome this guilt she seems to carry and I’ve mostly been just passive letting her friendship with N cool off and move on.
