There is definitely a huge psychological component. Even though my hub has a small dick, he was always a very confident lover and very dominant also. Even when we started swinging and it was obvious other guys were much bigger than him it didn't have any effect on him or his confidence. We started moved away from playing with other females/couples and started meeting mostly black men or couples with black men and he was still confident and dominant. Hubby just enjoyed seeing me with other people, men or women.I think maybe there was a part of me that just assumed it was all psychological.
The humiliation aspect is the bit that I don't understand and isn't for me so maybe it's more in keeping with that.
I don't have a small cock but do have a cuckold fetish. Which judging by this site is a lot tamer than I first thought.
It was once I started seeing one dominant black man exclusively, who had experience with white couples, that things started to change. It was almost more role-play at first, with him as bull, me as hotwife and hubby as cuck. Hub was always very open sexually so he was fine with this , but it very quickly it moved from just role play to real. My bf made sure that myself and my hub understood who the alpha was and hub eventually became less dominant, even when we were alone. It was tough for both of us at first and we questioned if it was what we wanted, but decided to follow my bf's lead and see where it took us as we figured we could always just go back to the way things were before. I know now that will never happen and hubby is now a limp dicked sissy cuck who is in chastity most of the time and he loves it. I still love him, but will never view him as a man in the bedroom again, but we are happy with where this lifestyle has taken us.