Unfortunely my wife always tells me about her lover, usually before but if not then shortly after. The longest she ever went without telling me about a new lover was her first black as she waited to tell me while I was licking his cum from her pussy. And as for rules, she sets them and can alter them as she sees fit. Most of her lovers have to wait to become regulars before they can go bareback, but her first black was bareback on first date.