My wife had a strict Catholic upbringing along with strict parents. She had very limited sexual experience before we got together. She was resistant to most new sexual things although when it came to the introduction of a vibrator she went from “HELL NO!!!” To an intense orgasm in less than 20 seconds and then that immediately came off the banned list. Sex talk, role play, toys etc related to my IR cuck fantasy has been a different story until late last year when I told her I was tired of begging for something I told her sets my world on fire that I shared with her before we got married.
It used to take so much effort to get past the guilt, shame, hang ups, inhibitions to where she could let go, get into it and have the most intense orgasms in her life. In those uncommon but glorious episodes she was incredibly hot, sexy, into it, and experiencing tremendous pleasure.
Things came to a head when she tried to gaslight me about it just being my fantasy but her not getting turned on by it. Even when I pointed out times in and out of the bedroom when did and said things without prompts from me. She stormed out of the house when she tried to gaslight me about something that clearly was from her mind, said completely out of the blue, recounting the first sexual dream she ever had, after I showed her a slide show of small white dicks alternating with large black cocks, and in the dream she fucked a bunch of white guys but none satisfied her then she was taken by a big, well hung black man who fucked her brains out, she came “so much and was incredibly loud.” I told her if she was going to lie about one of the hottest things a woman has ever shared with me our marriage was over and I’d hire an attorney the next day. She came back 30 minutes later, apologized, and admitted that yes, when she is turned on my fantasy gets her very hot.
I was explaining my wife’s dichotomy to my therapist and she said that some people especially women, can with the proper stimulus overcome their conscious objections imparted by society or upbringing, experience tremendous pleasure from the very thing they thought they should never do, then after they orgasm have a dramatic “snap back” where all that “this is naughty and should be avoided” mindset creeps back in and it’s back to square one.
My wife and I are going to see a sex therapist despite the fact that we are having the best and most frequent sex of our lives. I told her this can only help and should be a lot of fun. We are going not to make her live out my fantasy and make it a reality, but to get her totally comfortable with her own sexuality and be able to articulate what she really wants (I’m 99% sure she has a sub fantasy but she won’t admit it) and to get to a place where she can have guilt free sex and be happy and free being my adventurous sex playmate where we can safely explore my kink and hers.
I told her I will never put her in an unsafe situation and haven’t in our nearly 24 year relationship/marriage. Told her she is in complete control with regard to what IF ANYTHING happens, when, where, with whom and if her answer remains no, that’s perfectly fine. I just want her to play with my mind as much as my body. I can’t imagine how jazzed I would be if I knew I could get the love of my life insanely horny and hot for me just by whispering some naughty ******* in her ear. But she is very uncomfortable with sex talk.
Have other husbands and wives experienced this or are currently experiencing this? Were you able to get past this stage? Has anyone been to a sex therapist and did it help overcome years of societal, religious and parental messaging or other challenges you were facing? Thanks.
It used to take so much effort to get past the guilt, shame, hang ups, inhibitions to where she could let go, get into it and have the most intense orgasms in her life. In those uncommon but glorious episodes she was incredibly hot, sexy, into it, and experiencing tremendous pleasure.
Things came to a head when she tried to gaslight me about it just being my fantasy but her not getting turned on by it. Even when I pointed out times in and out of the bedroom when did and said things without prompts from me. She stormed out of the house when she tried to gaslight me about something that clearly was from her mind, said completely out of the blue, recounting the first sexual dream she ever had, after I showed her a slide show of small white dicks alternating with large black cocks, and in the dream she fucked a bunch of white guys but none satisfied her then she was taken by a big, well hung black man who fucked her brains out, she came “so much and was incredibly loud.” I told her if she was going to lie about one of the hottest things a woman has ever shared with me our marriage was over and I’d hire an attorney the next day. She came back 30 minutes later, apologized, and admitted that yes, when she is turned on my fantasy gets her very hot.
I was explaining my wife’s dichotomy to my therapist and she said that some people especially women, can with the proper stimulus overcome their conscious objections imparted by society or upbringing, experience tremendous pleasure from the very thing they thought they should never do, then after they orgasm have a dramatic “snap back” where all that “this is naughty and should be avoided” mindset creeps back in and it’s back to square one.
My wife and I are going to see a sex therapist despite the fact that we are having the best and most frequent sex of our lives. I told her this can only help and should be a lot of fun. We are going not to make her live out my fantasy and make it a reality, but to get her totally comfortable with her own sexuality and be able to articulate what she really wants (I’m 99% sure she has a sub fantasy but she won’t admit it) and to get to a place where she can have guilt free sex and be happy and free being my adventurous sex playmate where we can safely explore my kink and hers.
I told her I will never put her in an unsafe situation and haven’t in our nearly 24 year relationship/marriage. Told her she is in complete control with regard to what IF ANYTHING happens, when, where, with whom and if her answer remains no, that’s perfectly fine. I just want her to play with my mind as much as my body. I can’t imagine how jazzed I would be if I knew I could get the love of my life insanely horny and hot for me just by whispering some naughty ******* in her ear. But she is very uncomfortable with sex talk.
Have other husbands and wives experienced this or are currently experiencing this? Were you able to get past this stage? Has anyone been to a sex therapist and did it help overcome years of societal, religious and parental messaging or other challenges you were facing? Thanks.
