Dealing with seperate lives

[LisaLovesBlack]

Heya. I have an issue that was been troubling me for a while now and I guess I just want to get it of my chest and perhaps even get a bit of advice. Thing is I have been leading a double life for too long now and I'm just getting soooo tired of it. The life with my BF (who I have dating for three years) and the life with the other people in my life don't go that well together. My family, friends and people at my work they are all stuck-up upperclass white people. I don't see that as something bad per se, but it is what they are. Boyfriend is totally different though: raised in a bad neighbourhood mainly by his mom, because his dad was jail half the time, poor eduction (though he is pretty smart), hangs in questionable social circles and he's black. He is doing great in his own way, though the way he makes his money is rather frowned upon by 'my kind of people'. He is a great guy and we really click incredibly both sexually and personally, but it comes pretty close to my parents worst nightmare. They are pretty worried about the perfect future they always had in mind for me. The fact that sex plays such a big role in our relationship doesn't help either. I actually get that, but it's my life and I'm smart enough to make my own decissions. I sometimes take him to my parents, but that just feels awkward. It's not like they don't try and Chris tries as well, but perhaps the gap between them is just waaaaay to big. I know they think I'm making a mistake and rather see me dating some stuck-up upperclass white guy, but that just isn't going to happen.

When it comes to my friends it doesn't get a whole lot better. While I had to tell my parents ofcourse (I do want them to get along and accept us), I'm a bit more reluctant when it comes to friends. Some of my friends get along with him, but most just don't get it and seem to be mainly worried that I will end up a *******. The fact that I actually want this life and enjoy it is for some reason so out of their comfort zones, that they assume I am some dumb victim. Other friends I just don't tell. Same at the office: my private life stays private. So in a way I lead two seperate lives, but I can't really keep that up. I pretty much life at his place already, but I would like to move in with him some time soon and I'm kinda scared how that would affect the relationship with my friends. And yes, one day I would like to marry him and get his ******* too. Both of my parents would have a heart attack if I did that Anyway, sorry, for the rant. I'm just kinda sad and angry because of all of this and I had to get this of my chest. I thought there actually might be people here that have been in similar situations and...I don't know. End rant

 

[mdempsey000]

Getting married and building a family is a totally different thing than just having fun and enjoying sex. To have ******* means you cannot be so authentic as your bf like in your day to day life. Raising ******* in a family where weed is an every day thing is irresponsible in my opinion. I like weed but there are certain limits for what is best for developing a new person and bringing it to the world. Maybe this is what bothers you.

 

[Harduk]

Maybe there is a class element at play here and not just a racial one? Your individual intersectionality is complex by your race, class, nationality and of course sex! I’d just counsel taking your time for now and enjoying it for what it is.....whatever it is

 

[Easygliderpro]

Lisa’s story here reminds me of someone, whoever does not walk in the light ? will stumble, or if you walk in integrity walks securely.

Lisa
BF
Family

There was a man who bought a beautiful Labrador retriever and loved showing him off to the neighbors. But one day, he looked out the back door and his beautiful dog had the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. He didn’t know what to do, so he gently pried the dog’s mouth open and pulled out the rabbit. But it was too late. The rabbit was dead.

So he had a brilliant idea. He took the rabbit’s corpse into the house and he washed off all the dirt. He then got his hairdryer and dried the rabbit off and fluffed him up real nice. At dark, he climbed over his neighbor’s fence, found the rabbit cage, and gently placed the little bunny inside.

The man was relieved. That is, until the next morning when his neighbor came over and told him, “We got a real sicky in this neighborhood! Three days ago my rabbit died, so I buried him in the backyard. Somebody dug the rabbit up, cleaned him off, and put him back in his cage!”

Deceit never pays off. In fact, it just might get you into more trouble when all the facts are made known. So live honestly. Be truthful in all your dealings. When you do, you’ll have a clear conscience and be fully confident in your integrity.

Owner
Dog
Neighbor

BE TRUTHFUL IN YOUR DEALINGS WITH OTHERS SO YOU CAN LIVE WITH A CLEAR CONSCIENCE.

 

[Manamongs]

I talk to this lady once and the family was not accepting at first til they got to know me the media makes us look bad ,there are some very well put together blackmen out here , if you like blackmen stick with it !!!!! but get you a well put together brother babe

 

[ConservyWifey]

“Some advice would be nice, but I'm not sure a man's perspective would be all that helpful. I mean I appreciate it, but you can't really walk in my heels So that answers your second question I guess.”

”Some advice would be nice, but I'm not sure a man's perspective would be all that helpful. I mean I appreciate it, but you can't really walk in my heels So that answers your second question I guess.”

This is NOT about black or white, rich or poor, young or old, smart or dumb.... etc.

You’ve already made up you mind. Just like all or most of us, you are living in a flesh. Do you really think ? you are in love ?.?

Unfortunately, you are are blinded by your sexual lust in a flesh. Simply put; you are young, dumb and full of lust. Are you upset ? now? Good, because lust is like icing on a cake ?, it looks n tastes good for a short while, same as any relationship will disappear and fade away as the icing, if no love ❤ n trust is the concrete foundation.

The fact is that life is not full of gentle breezes and warm sun. There are turbulent times and tough times ahead. I am not a pessimist and I am not an extremist. I am a realist, and I can say with confidence because I’ve been looking through the lens of Scripture at human history that tough times are ahead and turbulent seas.


I’ve often heard people say their marriage was “made in heaven.” And while I do believe marriages are made in heaven, I also believe marriages are made on earth.

But sadly, in our culture today couples spend more time working on their wedding day than on their marriage. And the results are devastating.

Does he really love ❤ and honor you? If you are wondering how to show honor, think of it like this. To honor you, it means to see you as a treasure, to hold you dear, and to cherish you as a precious gift.

If you ready to commit and marry this man, there are nine things every woman whose becoming a wife needs from her future husband, but I will list them only if you want to know and ready to share them with him, otherwise it’s useless to you n him now...

If you want to understand your mate and create a good, fulfilling marriage, you have to understand your responsibilities as a spouse.


No Jesus, No peace ✌
Know Jesus, know peace ✌

Well said.

Lisa’s story here reminds me of someone, whoever does not walk in the light ? will stumble, or if you walk in integrity walks securely.

Lisa
BF
Family

There was a man who bought a beautiful Labrador retriever and loved showing him off to the neighbors. But one day, he looked out the back door and his beautiful dog had the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. He didn’t know what to do, so he gently pried the dog’s mouth open and pulled out the rabbit. But it was too late. The rabbit was dead.

So he had a brilliant idea. He took the rabbit’s corpse into the house and he washed off all the dirt. He then got his hairdryer and dried the rabbit off and fluffed him up real nice. At dark, he climbed over his neighbor’s fence, found the rabbit cage, and gently placed the little bunny inside.

The man was relieved. That is, until the next morning when his neighbor came over and told him, “We got a real sicky in this neighborhood! Three days ago my rabbit died, so I buried him in the backyard. Somebody dug the rabbit up, cleaned him off, and put him back in his cage!”

Deceit never pays off. In fact, it just might get you into more trouble when all the facts are made known. So live honestly. Be truthful in all your dealings. When you do, you’ll have a clear conscience and be fully confident in your integrity.

Owner
Dog
Neighbor

BE TRUTHFUL IN YOUR DEALINGS WITH OTHERS SO YOU CAN LIVE WITH A CLEAR CONSCIENCE.

Conservative person indeed.

 

[Easygliderpro]

Well said.

Conservative person indeed.

I’ve read your profile. Stay faithful, loyal n loving ? toward your husband.

Be careful n don’t get sucked in into this lifestyle. Run?‍ away n don’t come back.