Confused...and really want to become a cuckold...

Hi everybody,

I'm a 25 year old guy with a loving girlfriend. Started thinking and fantasizing about being cuckolded a little over a year ago. Was watching porn with the girlfriend (anal scene) and after I came, realized that she was absolutely fixated on how big the cock on the screen was - it was an immediate turn on. I'm pretty small 'down there' and have never been able to give her an orgasm through penetration (very good with the tongue though!). I started feeling really self-conscious about my size, ashamed etc, but now mostly get really turned on by the humiliation of 'not being good enough'. I'm obsessed with watching interracial porn (especially cuck scenes where there is humiliation play or of girls that remind me of my gf). I really want her to be used by a real man as I know what I have will never do the trick.

At the same time, don't know how to introduce the idea and am struggling with my own sexual identity (like when get turned on by cock and have the urge to put on clothes and play with her toys).

Would love to chat with anybody about all this.