Looking for responses from those with lifestyle experience and knowledge. I've been wanting to watch my wife take BBC for years now. Around 10 years I think. The idea haunts my thoughts daily to the point that it's the only thing sexually that I think about. I can't even imagine thinking about my wife NOT taking BBC. For the thrill of it I'm all on board. I'm ready to witness her pleasure at the hands (and cock) of a well endowed BBC. She is hesitant due to various reasons such as diseases and the possibility of her falling for a bull. I obviously want to keep my marriage strong as I love my wife and don't want to lose her. I just want to grant her freedom from the confines of marriage so she can REALLY enjoy great sex. She knows it gets me off so good also. So does it work out well or bad more often than not. We have 2 little ones and I don't want this family ruined over a fetish/fantasy.
Can a cuck or open marriage really work?
- Thread starter Blkdreams88
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I’ve witnessed a very high rate of destructive effects from late entry into swinging lifestyle. Success rate is affected by many factors such as: whether or not you have little ones, if one or both are trying to fix another marital problem, if there is real trust and communication or not, if the sex between you both is already good, and whether or not the end goal is the same for both.
General rule of thumb is that the deeper into a marriage before entry into swinging the more likely it is to have a deleterious effect.
If catching feelings is at all a concern then it’s not a viable option for you.
General rule of thumb is that the deeper into a marriage before entry into swinging the more likely it is to have a deleterious effect.
If catching feelings is at all a concern then it’s not a viable option for you.
I think it works better if the wife is BBC only
You are quite correct.
Why do you say that? Not trying to be a jerk but there are no studies out there to support this.
How "deep" into the marriage do you have to be when these deleterious effects kick in?
There are retirement villages out there where swinging goes on all the time with couples. I have no idea how many of them were swingers before they got into the retirement homes but you can be certain there are newcomers. I just do not think this is a "general rule of thumb" as you posted. My two cents is all.
Fuck studies. Life experience means more than some nerds analyzing something they have no frame of reference for. Interesting that you think that a bunch of retired people living in close proximity to each other and at the end of their livelihoods all fucking each other is useful data to support your argument. There’s no reason to be contrarian here.
QOShotwifeDFW is correct.
Which is why you mainly see pro porn, will only see BBC posts thinking everything is a white lady vending machine and then endless posts from husbands who truthfully have been porn addicted.
Facts are the above is mostly true.
Sorry but it is. Real people who swing have shrunk in numbers same as marriage has shrunk in numbers and so on.
Plus a demographic change along with societal change and the entire black to white “fetish” or “lifestyle” is now packaged and sold to you by JP Morgan, Netflix and Applebee’s.
The lifestyle ain’t what it was.
It can’t be.
Your marriage won’t be what it was if you’re just a porn obsessed hubby who is too scared to speak to his wife on sex and comes here to fantasize.
It’s a different world. Don’t look to the past to inform future decisions.
This kink has long been out on the public floor and it ruined this lifestyle and now it’s endless porn husbands seeking how to get their wife and endless women seeking to turn an extra Buck to commodify their OF.
It ain’t what it was but it will be what it will be and facts are out there.
You ask some very important questions. With regards to how long you have been together, it is no different than what you see in vanilla marriages with regards to how long they knew each other before getting married. There are successful marriages out there where they knew each other for years before getting married just as there are successful marriages of those who knew each other for a very short time. Conversely, there are failed marriages of both varieties as well. IMO, the length of time you have been together may play some factor, but it doesn't guarantee anything really. I believe what is more important is your commitment to each other. I have talked to 1000's of couples over my 25 years in this lifestyle and I have met just as many HS sweethearts as I have people who are on 2nd marriages or had short courtships. What is consistent is their high level of communication, commitment, respect and honesty with one another.
With that being said, let's be honest here. Getting into this lifestyle is a gamble. It is a high risk, high reward type of endeavor and there are no "guaranteed successes". All anyone can do is take the necessary steps to increase their chances of success. I will never mislead anyone into believing that this lifestyle is some type of magic carpet ride that is free of pitfalls. They are there, they are real, and chances are you will encounter a few yourself. The question will be is your commitment to each other strong enough to survive those bumps. With that being said, if you ask the people who are living this lifestyle, most of them will tell you that the possible rewards are worth the risk they took.
Now, to address her/your concerns. As for safety goes, those concerns can be mitigated by utilizing safe sex practices during play. Seek out Bulls who are comfortable with providing recent test results (you should be willing to do the same) as well as using condoms during play. It is also becoming increasingly common in the lifestyle for people to take prEP. You may want to consult with your Doctor before doing so. Now as far as her falling for her Bull, this is something that I have seen happen and I have seen marriages break u as a result of this. There are 3 ways that I have seen this raise it's ugly head:
1) her falling for her Bull
2) her Bull falling for her
3) the 2 of them falling for each other
If your wife becomes a "sport fucker" (someone who doesn't need a deep connection to enjoy sex) then these situations are easier to avoid because she's never playing with anyone enough to get "caught up". It also makes it easier to avoid if she is not seeing the same person consistently. Not a guarantee, just easier to avoid. Now, if on the other hand she is the type who does require a connection to play, then things can be a bit trickier. My advice is to remember this important thing...there is a BIG difference between a Bull and a guy who just wants to fuck your wife. If her catching feelings is a serious concern, then you will want to seek out Bulls who are experienced in the lifestyle. Bulls who know how to navigate these types of situations. Yes, it is harder to find these types of guys but if the risk is that high, then it is worth the time investment.
Of course this is just a "cliff notes" response to your situation and this is generalized advice. If you're interested in getting my perspective on how to address your own unique set of circumstances, feel free to reach out. Whichever route you guys decide to take, I wish you nothing but the best.
Wow that was extremely helpful. Thank you so much for that.
My pleasure.
You posted your "general rule of thumb" comment and all I asked is how you came about it. Your source is your life experience if that is the case then what you posted is anecdotal and not a "general rule of thumb" for all of this. I never made any "claims," and the comment I made about retired people was just an observation I made.
Just ask around, the general rule of thumb is accurate. My anecdotal data is superior to any “study” because I’m living in it and have been for over a decade. It also helps that I’m real and have evidence to back up all of my claims. Can’t say the same for many people online.
I wouldn't necessarily go that far. It is possible to have a relationship with a Bull where real and strong feelings are involved. I have seen this occur countless times and there are many couples out there where the wife wants to have more of a boyfriend type relationship with her Bull. However, with that being said, I will also state that it requires a very high level of emotional maturity and communication for all 3 involved to make this work as intended. All must be on the same page and each must know what the dynamic is and is not. Personally I am involved with a couple and I "own' the wife and we have extremely strong feelings for each other and have even used the L word with each other. This works because I have no desire to "take her from her husband" nor does she have any desire to leave him. That is not what this is about. So yes, it isn't necessarily a death knell if feelings become involved but it can be a very slippery slope, so tread lightly and carefully.
You give brilliant advice and feedback
your scenerio is not really different to other polyandrous relationships - in cuckold polyandry, it is just one sided is all.
We are into mfm fun with a guy we know semi regularly. We are mid 50s. 2nd marriage for her my 1st. Married 25+ years.
We only do this with one guy. We have with 2 different guys, one once the other 3 times. We enjoy our friend.
We always do this together usually at our home. We don't have an open marriage. We keep this very private.
We've always had a strong honest relationship. This sex fun has improved our sex life like crazy.
There's plenty of very strange(to me) posts from people that can't possibly be real but what do I know.
We only do this with one guy. We have with 2 different guys, one once the other 3 times. We enjoy our friend.
We always do this together usually at our home. We don't have an open marriage. We keep this very private.
We've always had a strong honest relationship. This sex fun has improved our sex life like crazy.
There's plenty of very strange(to me) posts from people that can't possibly be real but what do I know.
My wife is the type you describe here. She enjoys some kind connection. We've discussed it a lot though. I've intimated I do not mind a boyfriendish type of relationship if she finds herself in that situation with a bull. She appreciated my candidness because when she said yes to all of this she made me swear to not get jealous of him and her and she might want to be with him more than once and I better be prepared for that. We see to be on the same page when it comes to this.
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I will ask a second time. Where is your proof of the statement you made? What is your definition of "deeper"? 5 years, 10 years, 20 years?
"Ask around?" That is foolishness.
If you know, you know. 
Some very interesting replies and some that seem to speak for everyone. That’s far from reality. Wife and I have been together for 26yrs. Lifestyle for 22 of that and love. We grew from girl/girl only to solo friend play (both of us). It progressed over time, but it’s all based on good communication. We have no doubt that we are 1. No other person will ever match the bond we have after 26yrs and 2 teen k!ds. That doesn’t mean we don’t miss the excitement of “New Relationship Energy”. It’s ok to want something new and fun. The best part is bringing that back to us. We have zero fear one of us will run off for another.
Take pleasure in your wife’s pleasure. Although I play solo too, I enjoy my wife’s play the most. We love friends w benefits. If you’re worried about emotions, then spread out play date frequency (maybe monthly). But, if she enjoys the sexual part, then maybe a couple of monthly FWBs. The juggling will keep her busy and distracted from a single playmate.
The best part is reclamation sex as she describes her dates as you tease and play w her. It makes your bond stronger.
