keishakirkland
Female
All things considered is the term Queen of Spades offensive and insensitive?
Are you offended by the term Queen of Spades?
- Thread starter keishakirkland
- Start date
I'm finding that there is way too much sensitivity in some folks in this lifestyle. The lifestyle is about sexual liberty based on fantasy and private bedroom intimacy not conservatism. Respect is established before we even meet in the bedroom but inside of the bedroom it's a whole different social atmosphere.
I had one hotwife that was a deputy district attorney. I used to call her all kinds of "black cock sluts" "white whore for black cock" "my fuck toy" and she totally loved it. Now would I ever speak to her like that outside of the bedroom much less in the courtroom in front of a superior court judge? Absolutely not! My respect for her outside the bedroom is totally different than our agreed upon level of fantasy respect in the bedroom. As far as the lifestyle is concerned she doesn't give ******* what I call her in the bedroom and neither do I and I have a really good idea that it's most likely the case that the most sensitive people in this lifestyle taking issue with names and titles are probably not having as much fun and successful as the ones who have no issues with it!
I had one hotwife that was a deputy district attorney. I used to call her all kinds of "black cock sluts" "white whore for black cock" "my fuck toy" and she totally loved it. Now would I ever speak to her like that outside of the bedroom much less in the courtroom in front of a superior court judge? Absolutely not! My respect for her outside the bedroom is totally different than our agreed upon level of fantasy respect in the bedroom. As far as the lifestyle is concerned she doesn't give ******* what I call her in the bedroom and neither do I and I have a really good idea that it's most likely the case that the most sensitive people in this lifestyle taking issue with names and titles are probably not having as much fun and successful as the ones who have no issues with it!
Greg69Sheryl
Couple
It is offensive to some people, mainly because the term "spade" can be used as a racial slur, although that connotation as fallen out of common usage. We've gotten enough blowback on social media about it that we do feel a little -- just a little -- regret over helping to popularize the Queen of Spades symbol. Fortunately, the "snowbunny" term has emerged as a viable alternative.
trishtrash
Female
At this point it's just a symbol and an invitation of course
I really have no issue with it. I'm not easily offended. I'm the one usually doing the "offending."
I don't consider myself one. Although, it would be kinda fun if I had the tattoo on my ass and was in Coronado walking around on the beach and in town......in a thong bikini. Then I'd have to go back to "normal" life and looks. Since you cannot do that with a real tattoo, I just have to imagine.
I don't consider myself one. Although, it would be kinda fun if I had the tattoo on my ass and was in Coronado walking around on the beach and in town......in a thong bikini. Then I'd have to go back to "normal" life and looks. Since you cannot do that with a real tattoo, I just have to imagine.
Im a dominant woman and perfer to be on a equal footing with my bull. I like QOS, it fits that i am my cuckold knight's Queen.
Sounds reasonable. But the QoS per se does not say anything about the Woman's relationship status. There are lots of "single and playing" QoS Women out there these days.
In France, we say BAB (Blanche à Blacks).
Within this niche of adult lifestyles it is well communicated that the QoS symbol was introduced as a means for Women who prefer sex with Black men to advertise their preference. It was first brought up in the 2000s by Greg & Sheryl (who are also members of this site) and Kayla Kleevage who have all been active in this lifestyle for decades.
What is less known is that there had been a porn movie by the title "Queen of Spades" which dates back to 1986! Even though it is not focused on Black-on-white ("Blanche à Blacks" or "blanche à noir?") "IR" sex exclusively, except one scene (a FFM threesome with a white guy) all boy/girl scenes include Women with Black men. The final scene is a gangbang with the main character (Chanel Price) being "seduced" into sex by four men (three Blacks, one white). Throughout that scene the camera focus is clearly on the Black men's dicks with one exception where the white guy is taking her anally. And it ends with the three Black men nutting on the Woman's face. - Perhaps a first(?) pointer to the "QoS" being associated with Black-on-white "IR" sex?
What is less known is that there had been a porn movie by the title "Queen of Spades" which dates back to 1986! Even though it is not focused on Black-on-white ("Blanche à Blacks" or "blanche à noir?") "IR" sex exclusively, except one scene (a FFM threesome with a white guy) all boy/girl scenes include Women with Black men. The final scene is a gangbang with the main character (Chanel Price) being "seduced" into sex by four men (three Blacks, one white). Throughout that scene the camera focus is clearly on the Black men's dicks with one exception where the white guy is taking her anally. And it ends with the three Black men nutting on the Woman's face. - Perhaps a first(?) pointer to the "QoS" being associated with Black-on-white "IR" sex?
It was really good to read @Greg69Sheryl 's post above. I always wondered why they helped popularize the term.
For those who aren't familiar with the relationship to black people:
In other words, for many of us it's not much different than hearing a white woman refer to herself as "Queen of the n*****s."
I get that it's just a part of this lifestyle/subculture. I even get turned on by some types of raceplay (as long as it's pretty clear that it ends outside of the fantasy/role playing.)
Still, I'd rather play with someone who gets black people enough to know when it is and isn't ok to use the n-word with us than someone who just throws a synonym around in a general context.
And yeah, snowbunny's a great alternative.
For those who aren't familiar with the relationship to black people:
spade noun (2)
Definition of spade (Entry 3 of 3)
1 a : a black figure that resembles a stylized spearhead on each playing card of one of the four suits
also : a card marked with this figure
b: spades plural in form but singular or plural in construction : the suit comprising cards marked with spades
2 offensive —used as an insulting and contemptuous term for a Black person
(From: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/spade )In other words, for many of us it's not much different than hearing a white woman refer to herself as "Queen of the n*****s."
I get that it's just a part of this lifestyle/subculture. I even get turned on by some types of raceplay (as long as it's pretty clear that it ends outside of the fantasy/role playing.)
Still, I'd rather play with someone who gets black people enough to know when it is and isn't ok to use the n-word with us than someone who just throws a synonym around in a general context.
And yeah, snowbunny's a great alternative.
I'm sure that works well with the guys in this lifestyle who reach out or respond to you. I think the people who would find it offensive aren't likely to be those people though. What would you say if it was a black woman who was offended? A black coworker? A black guy who wasn't attracted to you or vice versa? I mean hell, what if they replied that they needed you to loan them $100? Are you still there for them?
I'm thinking more about cases where people are just wearing the tattoos, jewelry, shirts, etc. out in the general public. The meaning is clear from any google search at this point.
On the one hand, I think the term has some great aspects in terms of female sexual empowerment, reclaiming the negative connotations of being a white woman who sleeps with black men, etc. It was interesting seeing responses from women saying "why would I find it offensive?"
The main downside is that as a symbol it also literally reads like "black people are spades (racial slur) and I'm their queen (above them)."
