advice needed

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by whitencuriuos, Aug 31, 2013.

  1. whitencuriuos

    whitencuriuos New Member Real Person

    Gender:
    Male
    To make a long story short, me and the wife have been getting into the whole cuckolding thing over the past year. Well she met a guy on a dating website a couple of months ago. They texted, talked and shared picture of each other. Well things got going just like I thought they would. She was really enjoying it . He was down here in sc visiting but we never got the chance to hook up. Well after that she kind of shut the whole ideal of it down. They stopped talking , well I brought it up tonight and she flat out said no. I can accept that but then told me she was enjoying it too much. She caught her self wanting to text him and call him so that's why she stopped. I just don't understand if she wasenjoying it why not give him or someone else a chance. I know that they never met up cause she just didn't have the time. What could it be? Why just not try it again? Any advice would help. Thanks
     
  2. MacNfries

    MacNfries Well-Known Member Sweet & Cordial Gold Member

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    IMO ... she's probably just struggling with her morals and beliefs. She's likely experienced some emotions that she feels should only be appropriate to feel with you. Cuckolding tends to create emotional surges, for the both of you. You probably won't feel yours until you've witnessed or know she's been with another man. Trust me, when your wife finally has sex with another man, your marriage and your feelings for each other are going to change.

    Why not plan to meet this guy for lunch or invite him to dinner or something. Give all of you a chance to get know each other. I assume he knows your wife is married, and what the 2 of you are up too ... right? You don't want to be deceptive with him; he may have issues of his own about messing around with married females ... its good to keep everything out front. If she's held this from him, it needs to be cleared up before moving forward with him. Plus, I recommend she not see this guy alone, particularly the first time. Mac ;)
     
    oak607 and Mariposa blanca like this.
  3. whitencuriuos

    whitencuriuos New Member Real Person

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    Well he is in anoter state as of now. He knows everything and said he is cool with it. I guess I wasn't thnking about the emotions that she may have been feeling. And I would never let her meet alone, whether we met him together or if I was watching from a distance. Thank you for the advice.
     
  4. southwestcple

    southwestcple New Member

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    Couple
    She might have felt she was losing control and didn't like that. Take it slow and easy. Reassure her that you only go at the speed she is happy with. Allowing her to take a step back is a key part in that reassurance. 2 steps forward, one step back.
     
    serventruss likes this.
  5. serventruss

    serventruss Member

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    Male
    Good advice from southwestcple. It can be a slow process. Talk, talk, talk....try to keep her interest high. Since she backed away from this guy I would drop that. Perhaps you should find someone to do her and take her to him or invite him to your place. In other words you take the inititive and set it up; that may rerassure her you want it to happen.
    Good luck!
     
  6. Torpedo

    Torpedo Well-Known Member Gold Member

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    I seems to me that she is concerned about damaging her relationship with you. It is her body and it should be up to her who she shares it with.

    I have had a few women over the years that shared my bed a few times and then moved on. For some i think a BBC was a bucket list thing but for some the sex could have had repercussions to their marriages and they quit before it did.
     
  7. whitencuriuos

    whitencuriuos New Member Real Person

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    Male
    True it is not a bucket list, I am actually the only white guy that she has been with. This was my ideal that I brought up to her. I told her its up to her and if she don't she don't but I just gave her the option if she wanted it. She told me that I am all she needs and want and said she is not missing out on anything if she never goes back. So like I said it is up to here its my fantasy but if it don't happen then it don't.
     
  8. MacNfries

    MacNfries Well-Known Member Sweet & Cordial Gold Member

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    Male
    Country:
    US
    IMO ... you should take her words at face value; consider yourself a fortunate & lucky guy. Usually when a woman starts desiring other men for sex, its because she's not happy or getting what she feels she needs at home, or she's bored. Her affairs usually won't be for "thrills", but the beginning of a process to replace what she feels she's lacking with you.
    If your desire is to see her have sex with other men, possibly you should think in terms of MMF 3-somes; much safer, and when the act is over, its over until the next 3-some. You'll not be wondering, in the back of your mind, if she's seeing other men that you aren't aware of, or becoming passionately involved with another man. Allowing/encouraging her to have private affairs/relationships with other men without your knowledge is not logical to maintaining a happy, long term relationship with her. She obviously knows that. Mac
     
    willsrvu likes this.
  9. whitencuriuos

    whitencuriuos New Member Real Person

    Gender:
    Male
    Thanks for the advice. I think this just might have been what I needed.