Probably others have said this already, but this is how it starts for many of us. I kept getting cheated on by different girls, which made me angry, and dump them. I slowly began to realise that I had to give up trying to control women. I now wish i had some of those ex-girlfriends back, so maybe your ex-husband feels the same.
Some other people on this thread have said that white men are stupid because they think they are good. Actually, I think we just WANT to be good, and want to control our circumstances like anybody else. Cuckolds realise that they can't, and give in to the flow of sexual chemistry