White boy that can't stop thinking about BBC!

I haven't been able to stop thinking about it for many years now and it has been really my only sexual desire and only porn i watch for over a year. i still enjoy my wife's pussy (more now than ever now that she's been stretched by her bbc dildo), but i don't fantasize about other women. i fantasize about watching my wife get taken by her bull(s) while i stand/sit/lay beside her and jerk off in my panties.
 
The need to please, to be in service to someone can be an overwhelming desire. We have all seen it in our lives and throughout history. It starts as an idea that swells to consume desire and focus. Is it rational? Naaa, it is fulfilling and gratifying though, becoming what you need and what you want. i admit i am a white pantyboy that has an ache to be a black man's bottom, putting my mouth where he wants and doing all i can in to please and amuse him. Is it love? Maybe in some way, though he may not love me, i admire what he can do to me. He can make me feel. There is purpose and satisfaction in being bitch, physical and most important emotional. i want to belong, sacrificing dignity and even personal identity to receive his affections. His pleasure becomes mine.
 
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