I think most things in life which matter to some degree or another are touchy. I don’t believe there’s a reason to apologize.
I’ll begin by saying prejudice is part of the human condition. That’s not just a lay person’s position but the position of our marriage counselor we regularly attend. It doesn’t make you a bad person, it simply makes you a person who has flaws to work through.
My wife’s story surrounding this is interesting and was completely unknown until we faced our marital challenges and evolved to where we are. Blacks were very much the minority in the schools she attended. She described herself as a bit boy crazy and was partial to interest in white guys due to what was around her. Out of circumstance her best friend for years started dating a black guy which by default took her out of her element she was used to. She admitted at first she was perplexed and “didn’t get it”. Again there’s a thought which was brought on by her prejudice which was a product of her upbringing or more so her lack of exposure to something different than her. She admitted she was having a good time but still held back because of the difference in what she was used to.
The change started when she noticed it was pretty much just her, her friend, and her boyfriend and his friends who almost exclusively black. She sighted a difference that was unknown to me and almost a reverse prejudice. She said white guys to that point of her life seemed tentative and she grew tired of it. On the other hand the friends of her best friend’s boyfriend were forward and always complimentary and made her feel wanted which is a common need as we discover who we are. She said she realized it pretty quickly and became averse to being around white guys and her interest turned solely to black guys. She ended up losing her virginity at a small party in a Holiday Inn hotel room to six of those guys who were friends with the best friend’s boyfriend.
She ended up being ostracized by most of the white friends she had due to their prejudice. Almost by default she fed her prejudice toward her white contemporaries because of their actions. It’s kind of ironic but that pendulum of prejudice swung back the opposite direction which is a contributing factor of why we met and eventually married. My wife spent her college years and a year or two after in two relationships with black guys who fed upon her way of life to that point and who she was shared with amongst his friends. She said she wasn’t ****** by any means but it was what she had experienced over the previous years of her life when she was really looking for a guy to be exclusive. Very much still a part of the Jekyll and Hyde she has inside her today.
As for now my wife still has a fair level of prejudice based on her experiences. Prior to saying what I say just take some perspective so as not to send off the wrong message. My wife had multiple physical affairs with black men, reference the above marriage counseling and path I referenced. With that being said she has no tolerance or attraction for anyone who sees them self or puts on the persona of being a thug. She’s often spoke of how it’s the absolute worst way for a black man to be and she’s it as them desecrating themselves. She refuses to have anyone she sees as such in her sex life.
