Well, i am not asked for to answer in this thread but what i like to say is that there are so many different dynamics. Humiliation can be one aspect. But not everyone wants to be in that type of dynamic. And perhaps neither on the receiving or/nor on the giving side. It's all about finding a match actually. But i understand that can be hard, if you are in a great, satisfying relationship, and find out that there are differences, sexually. Perhaps it could work to say: "Well, it's not exactly my idea, but if you like it, i will do that for you."
i think where
@Idowives0763 comes in here is when a
real lifestyle couple has opened up about their sexual interests already (which is a prerequisite for being "real lifestylers") and where it may be hard for one partner (the female in this case) to understand the partner's desire (for humiliation in this case). i think this thread can evolve into something very interesting and also educational for many, but if i dare be honest, i see so many people in here who are not even at the point where open communication inside the relationship actually takes place.
i definitely don't judge other styles than i would appreciate for myself, but also i think there is a lot of confusion and misunderstanding out there. What can pose a big problem is when one half of a couple has a concept of what the partner perhaps wants or likes, and that understanding is actually a misconception.
All i want to say is: If you are in that type of relationship, see the aspect of humiliation as a special type of D/s play. Don't do things you haven't talked about before, and define a
safe word! In real life it can be very hard to catch, if a line has been crossed or not, if that's not been thoroughly talked about before.
One of the more interesting and also sexually (and relationship-wise) rewarding part of any lifestyle is to explore new terrains. If you want to keep heart- and head-aches low, it will be essential to know how everyone is feeling at any point. You can "define" that beforehand by everyone giving consent to a certain playing style. But what might work for someone in theory might not work anymore in real interactions in practice. So that's where the importance of a
safe word comes in. It is a means to be able to redraw consent to a particular action or situation "on-site".
i absolutely like that kind of play where everyone who is involved has their kinky needs fulfilled. And if you are a partner or even "only" a lifestyle playmate you would have a "natural" interest/desire that everyone is taken care of and feels fine at any point. So a rather easy way to achieve that is what i've said above.
(i'm not going to repeat myself but very curious where this thread might go.) Regards.
