Taking one for the team.

[Lebain]

Couldn’t agree more. I know this. When we go to a swing club we are going to have sex. Note that may mean that we are only going to play together. But I know what I have with him and that I’ll have a great time.

Heck the Swing Clubs I used to go to early 2000´s...had excellent meals...the atmosphere was positive...a lot folks did business with others...etc...People where just being themselves...If you hooked up great...If not great...Many couples played and just enjoyed themselves...Sounds like you have an strong foundation...and that´s important...

 

[MichelleCakes]

For us it's been mixed. When we started, we started only wanting another couple and found that the chemistry was always off upon meeting. Once we found a compatible couple, I was too jealous to share my husband. From there it evolved into MMF and MMMF which was way way easier. Now I want him to have a FFM experience but he says the dynamic we have now is perfect. But to answer the question, I'd now "take one for the team" so to speak so Hubby can enjoy himself like we set out to when we were young. It will happen, luckily there is no rush.

 

[funcouple52661]

I don't know how much is TMI, but I rarely come from intercourse. He does a great job with his tongue, but I usually need my vibrator or fingers when we are having sex. I get that this isn't at all unusual for women, but, and he hasn't actually come out and said it, I suspect he is concerned that maybe I learn to orgasm during sex with someone else and that draws us apart?

I understand. We have met some really amazing sex partners. We have both learned some things. I think swinging has made us both better sex partners. I’m lucky. I can climax from penetration but I had to learn how to do that. It’s been years but I want to say that it started with my husband deeply penetrating me and grinding his pelvis into my clit. Now I don’t even need that. I think that you just need to keep assuring him how much you love him and need him and that you will never leave him for anyone. Here is one thing I know for sure. Sexually I’ve learned a lot, but I still don’t know everything.

 

[funcouple52661]

Heck the Swing Clubs I used to go to early 2000´s...had excellent meals...the atmosphere was positive...a lot folks did business with others...etc...People where just being themselves...If you hooked up great...If not great...Many couples played and just enjoyed themselves...Sounds like you have an strong foundation...and that´s important...

I love swing clubs like you describe. I like higher end clubs. Too many single men can ruin it. I don’t like watching guys walk around jerking off. Never will be a turn on.

 

[MichelleCakes]

I understand. We have met some really amazing sex partners. We have both learned some things. I think swinging has made us both better sex partners. I’m lucky. I can climax from penetration but I had to learn how to do that. It’s been years but I want to say that it started with my husband deeply penetrating me and grinding his pelvis into my clit. Now I don’t even need that. I think that you just need to keep assuring him how much you love him and need him and that you will never leave him for anyone. Here is one thing I know for sure. Sexually I’ve learned a lot, but I still don’t know everything.

100%% I can cum just by my hubby sucking my titties now and eating my booty. Truly a blessing to have a partner you've grown with and know how to please through and throughout. Great comment!

 

[funcouple52661]

For us it's been mixed. When we started, we started only wanting another couple and found that the chemistry was always off upon meeting. Once we found a compatible couple, I was too jealous to share my husband. From there it evolved into MMF and MMMF which was way way easier. Now I want him to have a FFM experience but he says the dynamic we have now is perfect. But to answer the question, I'd now "take one for the team" so to speak so Hubby can enjoy himself like we set out to when we were young. It will happen, luckily there is no rush.

That’s pretty cool. I feel the same way. I’m starting to be more open about it. I’ve had more couples reaching out recently that the husband is really over weight or someone I’m not attracted to and the Mrs. Is very cute. They usually are also looking for some bi play with me and that’s usually fun for both guys.

 

[funcouple52661]

I like to take a step back to gain perspective. I don’t want to toot my own horn and I really need to thank everyone that’s contributing but this is a great thread. Almost a must read.

 

[PDXCouple]

Only my wife plays with others. I may participate or help please her in an mfm situation. That's about it. She'll never play with anyone that she doesn't find attractive.

 

[funcouple52661]

Only my wife plays with others. I may participate or help please her in an mfm situation. That's about it. She'll never play with anyone that she doesn't find attractive.

I get that dynamic but I don’t know if I even consider it swinging.

 

[PDXCouple]

I get that dynamic but I don’t know if I even consider it swinging.

True. We did start out at swing clubs where she would often play unicorn to swinging couples. Even then, she would turn them down if she didn't find them both attractive. That's where she met her first single black male fwb.

 

[Wboi]

I get that this isn’t a swinger site but there are plenty of swingers here. Essentially this lifestyle wouldn’t exist without swingers. Most couples have a rule that they won’t take one for the team. Meaning that if they are playing with couples that all must be attracted to proceed.
Here is the problem, it can be very difficult to find four people where everyone clicks. It’s more difficult for my husband to take one for the team, he needs to be able to perform. Meaning that he must be able to get an erection. So can he really take one for the team? I suppose he could go down on the other wife. In my opinion what I find is that more often than not the wife is a cute little thing and they hubby is someone I’m not attracted to. So I tell them we aren’t compatible.

I started feeling bad because my husband is the one paying for my willingness or lack there of.
It’s not like I need an erection to have fun. So I started “ taking one for the team”. I can’t say I regret it. I’ve been pleasantly surprised at how eager some of the guys have been to please me.
My question is, as a couple, what are your thoughts on this rule? It’s a common rule. Is it an unbreakable rule for you? What are we missing out on? I know ours broadened our play.

I don't know if this pertains to the question, but what if your not attracted to a black guy with a big cock, both husband and wife are not on board with him?? Do you both take one for the team, or just tell him your not interested, and the connection and attraction is just not there.? What about personality, does that come into play as well.? One may like him, one may not. Is it just a sexual attraction, owning a big cock, or is their more to it. Just wondering

 

[MichelleCakes]

I like to take a step back to gain perspective. I don’t want to toot my own horn and I really need to thank everyone that’s contributing but this is a great thread. Almost a must read.

Totally agree!! Beat thread in a while. Thank you!

 

[KatyMisbehavin]

I understand. We have met some really amazing sex partners. We have both learned some things. I think swinging has made us both better sex partners. I’m lucky. I can climax from penetration but I had to learn how to do that. It’s been years but I want to say that it started with my husband deeply penetrating me and grinding his pelvis into my clit. Now I don’t even need that. I think that you just need to keep assuring him how much you love him and need him and that you will never leave him for anyone. Here is one thing I know for sure. Sexually I’ve learned a lot, but I still don’t know everything.

The times I have been succesful we are doing something similar. It starts to hurt me when he gets too deep, however, so it works best with me kind of half on top/half on the side, but it really has to be just the right moment headspace-wise for me.

We tried the "Coital Alignment Technique" - where he slides way up in missionary (we tried it me on top too) but it was about the most awkward thing we had ever done! He was not comfortable bc he was sliding up and down against me with not enough in and out for him, and I was just kind of getting crushed into his chest lol. I've heard swirling is good - I've grabbed his hips and tried to direct and describe it to him but again he likes a lot of in and out so it didn't last for long enough maybe...

 

[funcouple52661]

I don't know if this pertains to the question, but what if your not attracted to a black guy with a big cock, both husband and wife are not on board with him?? Do you both take one for the team, or just tell him your not interested, and the connection and attraction is just not there.? What about personality, does that come into play as well.? One may like him, one may not. Is it just a sexual attraction, owning a big cock, or is their more to it. Just wondering

When it comes to single guys I have to be attracted. There is nothing in it for my husband

 

[funcouple52661]

The times I have been succesful we are doing something similar. It starts to hurt me when he gets too deep, however, so it works best with me kind of half on top/half on the side, but it really has to be just the right moment headspace-wise for me.

We tried the "Coital Alignment Technique" - where he slides way up in missionary (we tried it me on top too) but it was about the most awkward thing we had ever done! He was not comfortable bc he was sliding up and down against me with not enough in and out for him, and I was just kind of getting crushed into his chest lol. I've heard swirling is good - I've grabbed his hips and tried to direct and describe it to him but again he likes a lot of in and out so it didn't last for long enough maybe...

I have to admit that I’ve gotten in my own way of having fun when we first started and I’ve evolved for sure.

 

[KatyMisbehavin]

I have to admit that I’ve gotten in my own way of having fun when we first started and I’ve evolved for sure.

Did that evolution cause the sex between you and your husband to diminish do you think? Are you now finding better sex outside of your marriage? That was exactly what this podcast mentioned that he's freaking out over now...

 

[waynerobertson]

My experience is I can enhance a marriage and not hurt it. No drama is key for me. He likes watching and sometimes will have sex with her when I am done . .its called reclaiming. Also want to mention that I have met couples with terrible body odor and ended up buying them drinks and leaving. I expect certain things as couples do but sometimes have to walk away.

 

[KatyMisbehavin]

My experience is I can enhance a marriage and not hurt it. No drama is key for me. He likes watching and sometimes will have sex with her when I am done . .its called reclaiming. Also want to mention that I have met couples with terrible body odor and ended up buying them drinks and leaving. I expect certain things as couples do but sometimes have to walk away.

BO? OMG that sounds awful!!!

 

[waynerobertson]

You'd be surprised. A younger couple who both work out but don't necessarily believe in showers. First time for me. I also like to make sure that they are ddf. The same couple "forgot" to bring their proof. Still too many std's out there. To find a long term couple is the best. He watches and after a period of time it's like a date night and he tells us to have a good time. He's happy she'd happy. No jealousy only friendship with benefits.

 

[funcouple52661]

Did that evolution cause the sex between you and your husband to diminish do you think? Are you now finding better sex outside of your marriage? That was exactly what this podcast mentioned that he's freaking out over now...

No. Everything we’ve done has made us stronger and the sex better. I even squirted for the first time swinging. That used to horrify me add the anxiety would ruin sex. I used to let creepy guys ruin my night