Well said. I too do not see us returning to a vanilla life. Not that we were really ever vanilla before, I just think we both really enjoy this and hope to continue it. Communication is everything, totally agree!
Some Reasons Why I Hope This Only Stays a Fantasy
- Thread starter Wife4Black77
- Start date
If you’re doing it with condoms then you may as well just continue using dildos on your wife. Condoms ruin the experience. It’s not difficult to request clean test results from play partners. I feel far more comfortable allowing a guy that has furnished his test results to fuck me raw and cum in me than I would having sex with a stranger that was wearing a condom. Condoms break and even when they don’t it’s not like they prevent the transmission of all STIs, especially when cocks tend to go into the mouth prior to application of the condom.
Having said all that, not every relationship is compatible with a swinging lifestyle. I’ve seen many couple break up within their first year of swinging. You have to have open communication and have a solid relationship built on trust and more than just sex. You do have to take into consideration ho important the fantasy and sec are to you. If it’s going to drive you mad not being able to live it out and cause resentment because she won’t go along with it then maybe she’s not the one for you. Y’all just need to talk it out. There’s no convincing or f-orc-ing her to do anything she isn’t comfortable doing. A relationship can benefit from the hotwife lifestyle but us women often see your desire to share us as an excuse to be able to cheat on us so you need to really discuss the finer details with her and be specific on what kinds of arrangements you’re interested in pursuing. When my now husband first asked me if we could try a 3sum I said that I wasn’t interested in bringing another woman into the bedroom. When he clarified that it would be me with two cocks I was shocked and excited. Things progressed from there.
Remember that you’re both adults and should be able to have these discussions together. If you can’t have this kind of discussion without someone being offended or disgusted then you’re in for a bumpy ride regardless.You have the best, most well thought out responses. I am curious, did your relationship with your husband ever expand to him having sex with other women or is he completely faithful to you? Would you be ok with him having sex with another woman?If you’re doing it with condoms then you may as well just continue using dildos on your wife. Condoms ruin the experience. It’s not difficult to request clean test results from play partners. I feel far more comfortable allowing a guy that has furnished his test results to fuck me raw and cum in me than I would having sex with a stranger that was wearing a condom. Condoms break and even when they don’t it’s not like they prevent the transmission of all STIs, especially when cocks tend to go into the mouth prior to application of the condom.
Having said all that, not every relationship is compatible with a swinging lifestyle. I’ve seen many couple break up within their first year of swinging. You have to have open communication and have a solid relationship built on trust and more than just sex. You do have to take into consideration ho important the fantasy and sec are to you. If it’s going to drive you mad not being able to live it out and cause resentment because she won’t go along with it then maybe she’s not the one for you. Y’all just need to talk it out. There’s no convincing or f-orc-ing her to do anything she isn’t comfortable doing. A relationship can benefit from the hotwife lifestyle but us women often see your desire to share us as an excuse to be able to cheat on us so you need to really discuss the finer details with her and be specific on what kinds of arrangements you’re interested in pursuing. When my now husband first asked me if we could try a 3sum I said that I wasn’t interested in bringing another woman into the bedroom. When he clarified that it would be me with two cocks I was shocked and excited. Things progressed from there.
LOVE your posts!! What an exciting wife!!
Thank you so much! I honestly just try to keep it real and inject some reality onto this site to try and balance against all of the fantasy stuff. Because this is a real lifestyle and it can be beneficial for everyone involved but it doesn’t have to veer off into crazy land like so much of the fantastical posts do.
My relationship with my husband has always included him having sex with other women too. Whether it was a hall pass given while he was out of town or swinging with other couples where we would swap partners. So my husband has never been what the term “cuck” has evolved into recently where it’s basically interchangeable with “beta loser”. My husband actually has a thing for black women so he’s found a few black women in the past to have as playmates. Lately he’s been a lot busier with his work and also spending his time filming for me that he hasn’t had much opportunity seek new playmates. If we could find a local black couple to swap with that would be perfect but we’re not actively searching for that since finding guys for me and keeping me busy/full of cum is hard enough work as it is! Hopefully this insight is helpful for the OP or anyone else interested in this lifestyle.
You sound more of a wittol. And you don’t have to be a cuck to enjoy it. Nor get feminized.
But still, fantasies should sometimes stay as fantasies.
Sounds like you are both very happy, congrats!
tobie66
Couple
Dear Sir.
No one can dictate how you and your wife want to outlive your fantasy or lifestyle.
The trust and agreement must be between the two of you.
My husband and I are living a very similar lifestyle as you described.
We are very happy together and still enjoy sex together as well. Very much actually. Our QOS/BBC lifestyle on the side just gives us more pleasure on top of our more private sexlife.
We have very clear rules to avoid what you also described.
For us hubby is the only one planning what’s happening on the side. He decides 100% when, where and with whom. We are living in a Dom/sub. relationship with me as the happy receiver.
Personally I’ve been attracted to black men since I was young and hubby likes to watch. Sometimes he interacts, but it’s 100% up to him. He’s not afraid of touching a black cock himself, but his main thing is to enjoy all the planning and the build up and to challenging me, and I still love him dearly.
So long story short. To us it’s possible to live this lifestyle without any problems.
Hope it covers some of your concerns. Please feel free to ask if you want me/us to update anything.
Hugs from Denmark
and you're doing the right thing, mate! emotional hygiene will be violated in any case, whatever this kind of sex involving a third person. and most importantly - you'll never know what's in your wife's head. suffice it to recall the case of cheating - most often they do not stop and continue to live with their husband, whom they no longer love and respect, but pretend that everything is fine. and what, it's convenient, especially since it turns out to lying so well.
and as one of the users on this site wrote:
Attachments
wow just wow very well said It won’t matter if your wife can’t feel you after she’s been with her bull as she’ll still love you and you’ll get those wonderful sloppy seconds as your reward.
WE could not agree with you more. Communication, communication, communication; We are what I would describe as a Stag/Vixen couple. I do not like labels...but. We are both alphas in our business professions. My spouse happens to like being sexually submissive to a very viral, dominate black male. No BDSM; just intense fucking and passion. I have no interest in participating with our black friend. I probably am best described as a voyuer; love to watch, but also love to listen from outside the bedroom.
That's exactly what I think!
Dependiendo que es lo que a uno le gusta en mi situación nome gusta ser sumiso en algunas ocasiones unas palabras de humillación bastaría como comparar los tamaños de penes o que yo no la complazco , pero vestir como mujer candado no me gusta es más soy el que busca los toros creo y por experiencia si no quieres que la esposa y el toro se peguen mucho mejor buscar un toro con experiencia y sepa su lugar..ellos saben que no pueden ir más aya de sexo ..por lo contrario uno sin experiencia se va pegar....es mi humilde opinión
I have thought about those exact things just as you are now. Honestly my conclusion to this is that there has to be a lot discussed prior to acting this fantasy out. Expectations of each other and any potential bulls. Whatever boundaries there would be needs to be set and agreed upon prior. If things take a turn off of the beaten path, there needs to be another discussion with consideration of going back to a monogamous relationship. Everyone is different so experiences may vary I'm sure. My wife's hangup is having sex without emotional attachment. She says she cannot have sex without feelings for a person like I could. I don't mind sharing her body but her heart is mine and I refuse to let that go. So I am very hesitant to act out my fantasy since she told me this.
MargotC
Female
Like the way you think ::: Thanks a lot . Margot
Dear Sir.
No one can dictate how you and your wife want to outlive your fantasy or lifestyle.
The trust and agreement must be between the two of you.
My husband and I are living a very similar lifestyle as you described.
We are very happy together and still enjoy sex together as well. Very much actually. Our QOS/BBC lifestyle on the side just gives us more pleasure on top of our more private sexlife.
We have very clear rules to avoid what you also described.
For us hubby is the only one planning what’s happening on the side. He decides 100% when, where and with whom. We are living in a Dom/sub. relationship with me as the happy receiver.
Personally I’ve been attracted to black men since I was young and hubby likes to watch. Sometimes he interacts, but it’s 100% up to him. He’s not afraid of touching a black cock himself, but his main thing is to enjoy all the planning and the build up and to challenging me, and I still love him dearly.
So long story short. To us it’s possible to live this lifestyle without any problems.
Hope it covers some of your concerns. Please feel free to ask if you want me/us to update anything.
Hugs from Denmark
You have black men in Denmark?Dear Sir.
No one can dictate how you and your wife want to outlive your fantasy or lifestyle.
The trust and agreement must be between the two of you.
My husband and I are living a very similar lifestyle as you described.
We are very happy together and still enjoy sex together as well. Very much actually. Our QOS/BBC lifestyle on the side just gives us more pleasure on top of our more private sexlife.
We have very clear rules to avoid what you also described.
For us hubby is the only one planning what’s happening on the side. He decides 100% when, where and with whom. We are living in a Dom/sub. relationship with me as the happy receiver.
Personally I’ve been attracted to black men since I was young and hubby likes to watch. Sometimes he interacts, but it’s 100% up to him. He’s not afraid of touching a black cock himself, but his main thing is to enjoy all the planning and the build up and to challenging me, and I still love him dearly.
So long story short. To us it’s possible to live this lifestyle without any problems.
Hope it covers some of your concerns. Please feel free to ask if you want me/us to update anything.
Hugs from Denmark
Many posts here are just crazy fever dreams.
From experience we've been doing this for over 7 years, started very early in our relationship too. Communication was key, understanding of the kink and how far to take it. Understanding of the risks aswell.
Some people aren't capable of doing things like this and it's best off as a fantasy. But if communication is good, the understanding of each other's needs and desires are good, and the individuals who are welcomed to join understand, all goes well.
Unfortunately finding the right people to join can be a challenge. We've been lucky to find a few men and women who understand it was sex based relationships and neither of us were looking to change our relationship. With that said we've talked to probably hundreds who didn't understand that, she's had men beg her to leave her relationship. Finding the right person is a very frustrating process and can just ruin the entire fantasy.
From experience we've been doing this for over 7 years, started very early in our relationship too. Communication was key, understanding of the kink and how far to take it. Understanding of the risks aswell.
Some people aren't capable of doing things like this and it's best off as a fantasy. But if communication is good, the understanding of each other's needs and desires are good, and the individuals who are welcomed to join understand, all goes well.
Unfortunately finding the right people to join can be a challenge. We've been lucky to find a few men and women who understand it was sex based relationships and neither of us were looking to change our relationship. With that said we've talked to probably hundreds who didn't understand that, she's had men beg her to leave her relationship. Finding the right person is a very frustrating process and can just ruin the entire fantasy.
That's some good information to think about. These are the things that concern me. I actually bounce back and forth with the idea that maybe the fantasy is better or safer left as a fantasy. Time will tell.
Try some toys and see how you feel, how she likes it. Find someone long distance and allow her to flirt and she how you feel. Both are safe bets with minimum risk. Granted we skipped doing either of those, but if things were different I would've used that approach.
Swinger clubs are nice, people understand no and you can flirt and still say no. It's a safe space.
Happily married couple here with 3 ******* and 3 dogs. Normal vanilla people who’ve been enjoying the stag/vixen scenario for about 5 years now.
If your marriage is solid, no wife would leave her husband because the BBC sex was amazing. If your marriage isn’t that deep and strong, this might end it earlier…but it was eventually going to end like 50% of marriages do in the US!
As far as not being able to feel the husband after BBCs—that’s ridiculous! That canal stretches to allow 10+ pound babies through!!
It was a few year process to get this reality in my relationship. Ever since our sex has been hotter between us. It’s the most exciting hobby we’ve ever had. Everyone has a great time.
If your marriage is solid, no wife would leave her husband because the BBC sex was amazing. If your marriage isn’t that deep and strong, this might end it earlier…but it was eventually going to end like 50% of marriages do in the US!
As far as not being able to feel the husband after BBCs—that’s ridiculous! That canal stretches to allow 10+ pound babies through!!
It was a few year process to get this reality in my relationship. Ever since our sex has been hotter between us. It’s the most exciting hobby we’ve ever had. Everyone has a great time.
