Sexual awakening or Porn addiction

[secretboipussy]

I hope this is the right place to ask, I dont know where else to ask. This is about my experience since I found out about the lifestyle and how im processing it all. Im mostly looking for advice as im sure many other must have gone through the same.

For context Im 25 and so is my gf. We've been together for 7 years now in a very vanilla straight monogamous relationship. We're both attactive and healthy. She doesnt know I watch porn and is in general very closeted sexually. We love each other but I have my doubts about our sex life. I wonder if im fully satisfied and If this is the right relationship for me. I dont want to prolong this period of doubting myself as I want to be my most sexually active while im still young.

Anyways, 5 years ago I got very into IR porn through social media and It led me to the fantastic world of cuckolding, sissyhood, bnwo, pegging, raceplay...etc.
Since then It has slowly taken over my entire mental space when it comes to sex. I want to experience it all. I want her to cuckold me with a black man and I want to feel humillated...but I also want to experience the bbc myself and maybe transition and become a woman. Im a mess.

I've tried playing with dildos and chastity cages, I've exposed myself to many people on social media too and I've done it all while she was away from town. But when she's back I have all of these repressed emotions and i cant fill that craving I have.

And im afraid of bringing these things up to her and scaring her away. Im afraid that maybe this is not something I truly want and its just some kind of porn addiction taking over. Whenever I masturbate to ir porn i feel guilty but Its the one time I feel good. We are not that sexually active anymore and when we do I always feel like im incapable of pleasing her. I last little and she rarely cums.

Anyways I'd love to hear if someone went through this all and ended up happy. I'd love some advice.

 

[AnnieS]

One you are not female so why did you register that way? Two you do not seek advice of this type on a porn internet forum. Three you have multiple issues going on and none of them are good or healthy for you mentally. One if you dont please your GF and rarely have sex why is she with you for 7 years? You need to seek professional counseling. Yes there is a porn addiction and you have clearly stated that you have it and recognize it. It has consumed your life just like ******* and will continue to degrade your way of life until you are a husk. Seek counseling from a professional specializing in sex adiction and try to get your life back. You are slowly dwindling it away until you will be alone and worse fully consumed. Coming to the place of your addiction to seek help is ike a ******* addict going to his dealer and asking him to help. There will be dozens of pshycological counseling ooportunites in your area with a simple internt search of the community. You’re reaching out for help now- this is not the place and I urge you to seek help from someone qualified to do so before its too late. Perhaps you will regain your relationship in a healthy manner and learn some new tricks to please your GF at the same time.

 

[chrissgurl]

One you are not female so why did you register that way? Two you do not seek advice of this type on a porn internet forum. Three you have multiple issues going on and none of them are good or healthy for you mentally. One if you dont please your GF and rarely have sex why is she with you for 7 years? You need to seek professional counseling. Yes there is a porn addiction and you have clearly stated that you have it and recognize it. It has consumed your life just like ******* and will continue to degrade your way of life until you are a husk. Seek counseling from a professional specializing in sex adiction and try to get your life back. You are slowly dwindling it away until you will be alone and worse fully consumed. Coming to the place of your addiction to seek help is ike a ******* addict going to his dealer and asking him to help. There will be dozens of pshycological counseling ooportunites in your area with a simple internt search of the community. You’re reaching out for help now- this is not the place and I urge you to seek help from someone qualified to do so before its too late. Perhaps you will regain your relationship in a healthy manner and learn some new tricks to please your GF at the same time.

Very considerate advice, Annie. I may or may not be in the correct forum overall as it relates to my own sexual expression and journey, but I have profound respect for the availability of truly healthy sexual mental health advice in these forums.