Mortified about GF interracial fantasies

Strange place to find to raise this issue, ‘my girlfriend likes IR porn and now wants to make it a reality’ ‘oh, I know I’ll find a niche website that caters for that and ask if it’s something I should go along with’.

😂
I usually like to err on the side of giving people the benefit of the doubt. There are lots of fakes, posers, wannabes and fantasizers who post stories like this, that often seem a little too on the nose to ring authentic. But I mean, so what?

It's certainly possible someone would ask for advice on a forum full of people who might have some experience with this kind of thing. If you're right about his authenticity and I'm wrong, I gave an honest response and some personal advice/reassurance to a phony, and potentially others who might read it and gain something from it even if they aren't active, vocal participants, and it cost me nothing. If it turns out he was on the level despite his story sounding a little too convenient, he might actually benefit from some of us with experience to share, and the internet might have done some good instead of tearing down someone who's already in a place of uncertainty and vulnerability, as it does so often. Either way, I'm good with my response.
 
I've been with the love of my life for 4 years. She opened up about her interracial porn taste a few months ago, and I indulged in it with her to make her happy. It did spice up our sex life, made her more wild and needy, which made me happy as well. Two days ago she announced me she'd like to "make the jump" and that it would be easy for her to bring a black man home to try. What the hell.

I'm ok with porn fantasies, but that hit me in the face and gave me such a feeling of inadequacy, like I couldn't recognize her, an attack upon my manhood. I'm scared of losing her. And I would be incredibly intimidated if there was another man coming into my home to bed my wife. Now I see there's an entire lifestyle around this and it might not even be just a one time thing.

I've always been a pleaser with her, making sure she had all she needs. I could probably let her do it just this once to experience it. But what is there to gain for me in this? What are you guys getting off of this? I'm mortified at the thought of someone being better than me with her, see her leave with him... Or just being relegated to the backseat. Is this a price to pay to stay with her? Could she just indulge into her porn fantasy and move on? It's so overwhelming, to think of some guy laughing at me while he fuck my wife in my bed. How do you deal with this?
- If you are reluctant, and/or do NOT want to do this... don't. No one is forsing you.
- If this results in the loss of the "love of your life"... so be it.
- Do not do harm to yourself, to please her.
 
I've been with the love of my life for 4 years. She opened up about her interracial porn taste a few months ago, and I indulged in it with her to make her happy. It did spice up our sex life, made her more wild and needy, which made me happy as well. Two days ago she announced me she'd like to "make the jump" and that it would be easy for her to bring a black man home to try. What the hell.

I'm ok with porn fantasies, but that hit me in the face and gave me such a feeling of inadequacy, like I couldn't recognize her, an attack upon my manhood. I'm scared of losing her. And I would be incredibly intimidated if there was another man coming into my home to bed my wife. Now I see there's an entire lifestyle around this and it might not even be just a one time thing.

I've always been a pleaser with her, making sure she had all she needs. I could probably let her do it just this once to experience it. But what is there to gain for me in this? What are you guys getting off of this? I'm mortified at the thought of someone being better than me with her, see her leave with him... Or just being relegated to the backseat. Is this a price to pay to stay with her? Could she just indulge into her porn fantasy and move on? It's so overwhelming, to think of some guy laughing at me while he fuck my wife in my bed. How do you deal with this?
Do you think it's possible that she has already got herself a Black lover?
She has said that it would be easy for her to get a black man, perhaps she has someone particular in mind.
If so he is probably bigger,stronger than you, more virile. He's probably already fucking her. Making her want him more and more, needing you less and less.
In the end in a desparate attempt to please her you finally allow her to bring him home 🏡 and he doesn't give you any respect just ordering you to serve him with drinks before he takes her to your marital bed and with a smirk on his face he closes the door on you leaving you left outside your own bedroom humiliated but with an erection. It then becomes a regular thing for them and then she suggests that you sleep in the spare room so as not to disturb them in the morning.
Finally they ask you to move out.

Do you think something like that could happen?
 
I love her more than anything in the world and want her to be happy. I don't think this fixation for older black men will go away on its own just because I deny her. Somehow it makes me feel selfish to get the impulse to contain this.
It does turn me on to a certain extend, but I would have never believed it would one day pass that line and be real. I still have a lot of apprehension, knowing that once its done I won't be able to go back in time. That weird feeling to be cornered. I'm a bit scared to regret doing it, but I don't want her to regret going on with her life without being able to experience it to the fullest... I have a feeling I will have a lot of discussions with her in the coming weeks.

it sounds like you shouldn’t do it. This isn’t a life need. It’s a want. Is it really worth risking it all just to get your rocks off? Part of a healthy relationship is boundaries. Fantasy is just that- fantasy. Things change drastically once they become reality. Be careful.
 
I've been with the love of my life for 4 years. She opened up about her interracial porn taste a few months ago, and I indulged in it with her to make her happy. It did spice up our sex life, made her more wild and needy, which made me happy as well. Two days ago she announced me she'd like to "make the jump" and that it would be easy for her to bring a black man home to try. What the hell.

I'm ok with porn fantasies, but that hit me in the face and gave me such a feeling of inadequacy, like I couldn't recognize her, an attack upon my manhood. I'm scared of losing her. And I would be incredibly intimidated if there was another man coming into my home to bed my wife. Now I see there's an entire lifestyle around this and it might not even be just a one time thing.

I've always been a pleaser with her, making sure she had all she needs. I could probably let her do it just this once to experience it. But what is there to gain for me in this? What are you guys getting off of this? I'm mortified at the thought of someone being better than me with her, see her leave with him... Or just being relegated to the backseat. Is this a price to pay to stay with her? Could she just indulge into her porn fantasy and move on? It's so overwhelming, to think of some guy laughing at me while he fuck my wife in my bed. How do you deal with this?
DM me and we can chat in detail. I have been through a similar situation with a similar outlook. You need to look at it differently, but just saying that you will think it is impossible. You need help to get you through this as it is a massive situation for you and something I don’t think you will be able to stop.
But believe me you can deal with it. You can change, you can work this out. DM me and we can discuss in detail over a number of days and possibly weeks. I am still getting advice and help now.
 
I've been with the love of my life for 4 years. She opened up about her interracial porn taste a few months ago, and I indulged in it with her to make her happy. It did spice up our sex life, made her more wild and needy, which made me happy as well. Two days ago she announced me she'd like to "make the jump" and that it would be easy for her to bring a black man home to try. What the hell.

I'm ok with porn fantasies, but that hit me in the face and gave me such a feeling of inadequacy, like I couldn't recognize her, an attack upon my manhood. I'm scared of losing her. And I would be incredibly intimidated if there was another man coming into my home to bed my wife. Now I see there's an entire lifestyle around this and it might not even be just a one time thing.

I've always been a pleaser with her, making sure she had all she needs. I could probably let her do it just this once to experience it. But what is there to gain for me in this? What are you guys getting off of this? I'm mortified at the thought of someone being better than me with her, see her leave with him... Or just being relegated to the backseat. Is this a price to pay to stay with her? Could she just indulge into her porn fantasy and move on? It's so overwhelming, to think of some guy laughing at me while he fuck my wife in my bed. How do you deal with this?
My opinion from someone who was in a very similar position, I don't think this is just a phase. I think theres a good chance that when she experiences BBC and starts to be accustomed to it, she will want to enjoy it frequently. However, the downside of not allowing her this enjoyment is that she'll always want it, and you'll be seen as the one who prevented it. my advice would be to have a frank conversation about rules and find someone you think you can both trust. BTW you may find it really hot to see her living out this fantasy, and there's a chance it will actually strengthen your bond with her- if you support it. welcome any other thoughts.
 
If that story is true (which I honestly believe it isn't), I'd say the simple fact of you being here is that deep inside you want what your girlfriend wants. You're just afraid of not being the one controlling how things are running right now. She is taking initiatives because the heat inside her is overwhelming and you can't quench that. Wouldn't one way to go about this be to just talk with her about how to make that first time happen with safety, which involves knowing the guy first after chatting with him, then bar or restaurant then her being taken, not at your home, but in a hotel (not a strange one)?
I had the same feeling about the story being fabricated.
 
The next step is simple. You guys way over complicate things.

Just have her do something small with a black guy while you watch. Take baby steps. Don't just have them go all out the first time.

Have him come over, have a few drinks, she'll sit next to him, share stories of swinging, fantasies, tell jokes, have fun with the situation. As time goes on, she might sit closer to him, put her hand on his lap, etc. Just small little flirty things. See how you feel. Just agree to that for the first meeting, go very slow. Talk about it afterword and share your feelings together. Have sex with her after he leaves, talking about how sexy it was.

Then the next time, you do the same thing but let them kiss a little bit, flirt a bit more. Maybe take her top off and she can rub his dick through his pants. Do some heavy making out if you're ok with it. And again, when he leaves, you two talk about it and see how you both feel.

The next time, they kiss and flirt on the couch and then they go to the bedroom and she gives him a massage and hand job until he cums. Maybe she takes her top off or wears sexy lingerie for him. You sit in the corner and watch her give him a hand job.

IF that goes well, the next time he comes over, she sucks his cock and strips for him.

And if that goes well.....you let them have full on sex while you watch.

My point is to take it slow. No need to ruin your relationship or make this a scary thing for you. It should be a FUN thing! Have fun, my friend. The lifestyle is great, sexuality is fun, so stop making it so stressful and complicated.

This advice goes to other guys too. Take your time, take small steps with the ultimate goal or full on sex. Even if it takes you two years to work up to it, you have plenty of time. You might find that you want to stop after the hand job or the kissing....that's fine! Just do that. There are no rules, no standards.

Enjoy!

(this technique worked for me many years ago)
 
My first wife was 24 and started fooling around with a black boyfriend behind my back. She never discussed anything with me and there was no internet porn at the time. After awhile she decided she would rather be with him. A woman's desire to have sex with black men could destroy a marriage.
 
I haven't met any black men yet, I'm looking forward to eventually locating one near me. I'm taking this very slowly and I'm learning something new about myself everyday. Lots of men here but I'm looking for that special man.
Just take it slow and interact where appropriate and don't let anyone tell you how you should act.
 
Man you have to feel that it's the place you wanna be. If you can't, then tell her and it may break your couple but don't go where you don't wanna. Hard to explain exactly what one gets out of it, and it varies from person to person.
What a great and accurate response!!
 
My husband and i are swingers and when i started fucking only with BBC besides him,he loved and encourages me to keep doing it
 
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