Literal dreams of bbc?

Around the times when i was transitioning and becoming curious about bbc,

i had a dream that i went on a boat cruise for a vacation with my parents (which i did before)

just like in real life; u can split up and walk around on your own..

in my dream, i walked around to explore..and i seen a basketball court.. then walked into a change room/shower area.. and there were nothing but big buff muscular black men! just showering, naked, in towels.
i was the only little- frail, asian nerd there.

Next thing you know, i was in a sauna with two older black men. One of them had their hand grabbing the back of my neck tight, forsing me up and down to deep throat his cock!
When i ****** myself upwards to get some air, gagging and ******* to breathe, they were grinning and laughing at me! My spit strings were connected from my lips to a long stiff black cock! My eyes were tearing,I was coughing & grasping for air as they were telling me to keep going! i just willingly went back down and continued (even when i thought i was straight) My view looking up was their hot buff bodies and the steam from the suana!
That dream made me feel like a little bitch being used!

when i woke up in the middle of the night..i asked myself in my mind ‘would i actually do that?’

absolutely! I had to pull down my little boxer briefs under the blanket cause i was soo stiff!
Squirming, moaning and biting my pillow cause i was soo horny!

this was also one of the main reasons why i signed up for gay dating apps , just to talk to big black guys in my city! 🥴
 
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